In loving memory of my sweet girl Hello, my Her. Her, I will miss and love you forever. The time will come when once again I’m kissing your powdered sugar throat, and someday we will be together for eternity. Till then, know I love you and miss you so much, and that you will always be my soul kitty, my girl, my Her.
Fragile Circle
“We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, Live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan.”
Irving Townsend, “The Once Again Prince”
Her
Hello came into my life in July of 1998, after being dropped off with her siblings on a dirt road. She quickly became my best friend, my joy, my special girl.
She died February 25th, 2007, at Cornell Veterinary Hospital. She was suffering from an enlarged heart (I always knew she had a huge heart), a heart murmur, diseased lungs, and renal failure. Letting her go was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I will never ‘get over’ Her.
I love you, my girl.
“I’m glad I didn’t know The way it all would end, the way it all would go.
Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance.”
So many wonderful memories–where can I begin? Hello was my baby, my heart, my soul, and her sudden loss has left me broken and shattered.
I adopted Her in July of 1998. I already had one cat (just one!? Now I am a cat lady!), and didn’t want another, but when I saw Her, I knew I had to have her. I brought her home to become MY special cat, and she fulfilled that need with love to spare.
I used to let Her outside. I live in the country, and she liked to explore and hunt, though after a while she just waited for one of the other cats to catch a rodent and then she would steal it. Whenever she did decide to exert herself and catch a mouse, if I was outside, she always brought it to me. She wouldn’t eat it herself until I told her what a great hunter and provider she was, but no thank you, pushed it towards her.
Whenever I had to walk the fence, Hello went with me, though she wouldn’t last for long. She’d want to be picked up and carried on my left shoulder, and though I had fencing tools, I always obliged. I considered it an honor.
When I was at the barn (before I had the cat fence built) and my girl was on the side deck, she would always get up, stretch, and come trotting down the path to meet me. She just wanted to jump into my arms and be carried up to the house. I used to delight in it, laugh and tell her it was an awful long walk for her to catch the bus. I loved the feel of her furry body, curled so softly and confidently on my shoulder.
Hello loved to play, but as she got older, she seldom was in the mood. Plus, she knew she was the queen, and was too dignified to bat a mouse–though sometimes she did forget herself and go a little crazy with a catnip toy.
When I first started bringing other cats home, my girl was a little miffed. After a while, she didn’t mind. She just ignored them anyways, and was never interactive with them. She knew she was special, and her place was beside me, above any feline antics. She wore her statelihood well, my girl did.
Hello loved to sleep in my top dresser drawers. Often she’d ask me to open them before I went to work, and she’d be in the same spot waiting for me when I got home. I guess she liked being on my things, because she would also plop her fuzzy body on the outfits I’d lay on the bed as I got ready for work. She didn’t want to move off them; I think she knew once I was dressed I had to leave, and she wanted me to stay home.
Above all other places, Hello’s very favorite place to sleep was on my chest, right over my heart. At night, she would wait for me to lay on my back and open the covers, and then she would snuggle inside the tent I made for her. When I needed to turn on my side, that was okay with her too. She only wanted me to stick my arm out of the covers, then she would lay on top of it, wrap her paws around my wrist, and rest her sweet powder sugar chin on my hand. Often, I’d wake up and she would be laying on top of me, whether I was on my side or back, looking at me, happy to have me awake,
Hello loved her fountains too. She would knead in front of one, and my rug Will always have those precious scars left by her claws. She also liked her Cat-It fountain, and would lap water off the dome, but her very favorite was the bathtub faucet. Whenever she asked, which was at least every morning, I would turn the water on just a trickle, and she’d jump in the tub and lick it, and just spend time watching the stream, sometimes playing with it.
Hello was a leaper, and would catapult herself into my arms,especially in the mornings when she knew I was going to work. She would tell me she was coming, to make sure I was ready to catch her. Once in a while my back was turned, and up she jumped anyways. I never minded; she just wanted to get cradled on my shoulder, and would stay there awhile I puttered around getting ready. When it was time for me to go, I’d bend over by the couch and she’d step off.
Mornings were special to us. I would rush to get my barn chores done so I could have a few minutes sitting on the couch, watching CNN with my girl. She would watch expectantly while I finished my toast and put the plate down, and as soon as I did, she’d crawl onto my lap to settle in. She preferred her orange pillow on my lap first, but she took me any way she could get me. I always hated having to get up and leave her.
Hello loved weekends, and summer breaks were her happiest times. I was home and we were always, always together. I couldn’t go from one room to another without her checking to make sure I was okay, and not getting ready to go off anywhere.
Hello loved her Whiskas in a pouch, especially the whitefish variety, and the only dry food she’d eat was Kit and Kaboodle. Everything feline I had–the food, the trees, the beds, the toys, was for her. I had a dish with her markings on it; my internet name was always Hello. The other cats benefited, but it was all for Her.
In November of 2004, Hello disappeared for 4 days and 3 mights. I was devastated–that was like WEEKS to Hello. She was never away from me for long. On the third night, I walked down to the woods, calling and calling her name. She always came to “Her”, and I trilled it over and over again, along with “Has anyone seen my girl? Where is she? I can’t find Her anywhere?” That always brought her running, especially if I hid my eyes so I couldn’t see her. She would get so worried and jump onto my lap, comforting me, as if to say “Oh, Momma, I am right here”. The wind was blowing through the trees and the creek was flooded and running loudly, but I walked and walked and called and called, crying.
The next morning I got up and opened the front door–and in walked Her, looking fine, acting like she had been gone just a couple of hours!! I cried with joy and vowed she would never go out again.
I had a cat fence put in. It is very large and high, and in the middle of it is a fat tree. I put a catdoor in on the porch, and Hello,as well as the others, were able to go out, to run and play and watch the creatures, without being in danger of cars or predators. I felt happy, knowing my girl was safe and nothing from the outside could hurt her.
I didn’t know the hurt would come from inside her. I didn’t even know she was sick. She protected me from that, I think. Even the day she died, she jumped into my arms and ate a couple bites of Whiskas. She jumped up on the stand so she could see the birds at the feeder outside the window. She also got on my belly, kneading it, and licked my hands.
Hello died at Cornell Companion Hospital the evening of February 25th, 2007. She was eight and a half. Part of me–a very large part–died with her. Now, I look for Her–but I really CAN’T find her anywhere, not physically, but oh, she has a huge hunk of my soul. She was my heart cat, and I will miss her for the rest of my life. I have her ashes in an urn, and I carry it around, put it in her favorite spots, and sleep with it. When I die, she will be buried with me. I have a silver heart locket I wear next to my heart–her favorite spot to sleep–and in it is a lock of her multi colored fur. I miss her so much. She was my girl, my Her, my Hello, and so much more than that. I cannot even begin to put into words what that furbaby meant to me.
“There by the fire, I loved being by her, when there’s no one else around.” Someday, my sweet angel kitty, we will have a fire that we can sit together in front of for eternity. I promise. The love we shared cannot be gone; the bond never separated. You are here, girl, beating in my heart, a part of my soul. Forever.
Oh my girl, I will never forget the way you looked at me. You made me feel very special when, in reality, YOU were the special one. I was just the lucky one to have been chosen by you.
Goodbye, Hello. We will meet again, and what a reunion it will be! I love and miss you so very much. There is only YOU, my sweet girl.
To Love Again
Oh what unhappy twist of fate Has brought you homeless to my gate, The gate where once another stood To beg for shelter warmth and food?
For from that day I ceased to be The master of my destiny, While she, with purr and velvet paw Became within my house the law.
She scratched the furniture and shed And claimed the middle of my bed, She ruled in arrogance and pride And broke my heart the day she died.
So if you really think, oh cat I’d willingly relive all that, Because you come forlorn and thin Well don’t just stand there – come on in!
Author unknown
After my lap, snuggling down into my clothes was Her favorite place to sleep. In the mornings, she would often stand at the foot of the dresser and ask me to open it. She knew I was leaving for the day, and if she wanted to sleep in my undies, well, so be it. 🙂 Although Hello always got what she wanted, she was not greedy or pushy for food or material things. She only wanted me, and she was always very polite about it while making her wishes known. She was a true princess.
Sweet, sweet Hello–what would I give to have you back, to hold you again, to look into your beautiful eyes and see the love that always shone there for me!!!! You will always be my heart kitty, girl. I love you more than words could ever say.
I Loved You Best
Copyright © Jim Willis 2002, all rights reserved
So this is where we part, My Friend, and you’ll run on, around the bend, gone from sight, but not from mind, new pleasures there you’ll surely find.
I will go on, I’ll find the strength, life measures quality, not its length. One long embrace before you leave, share one last look, before I grieve.
There are others, that much is true, but they be they, and they aren’t you. And I, fair, impartial, or so I thought, will remember well all you’ve taught.
Your place I’ll hold, you will be missed, the fur I stroked, the nose I kissed. And as you journey to your final rest, take with you this…I loved you best
I love you my sweet girl!
| Hello "Her""" |
| 25, Feb 2007 |
| Donna |