To my soul mate, my one and only, my Raven:
If Tomorrow Starts Without Me…
If tomorrow starts without me,
and I’m not here to see,
If the sun should rise you find
your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry
the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things
we didn’t get to say.
I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you
And each time that you think of me,
I know you’ll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
please try to understand,
That an angel came and called
my name and took me by the hand.
He said my place was ready,
in heaven far above
And that I’d have to leave behind
all those I dearly love.
But as I turned and walked away
a tear fell from my eye.
For all my life I’d always thought,
I didn’t want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much left yet to do.
It seemed almost impossible
that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays
the good ones and the bad.
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
just even for a while,
I’d say goodbye and kiss you and
maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized that
this could never be,
For emptiness and memories would
take the place of me.
When I thought of worldly things
I might miss come tomorrow
I thought of you and when
I did my heart was filled with sorrow.
When I walked through heavens gates
I felt so much at home.
God looked down and smiled at me
from his great golden throne
He said, “This is eternity and
all I’ve promised you”
Today your life on earth has passed
but here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today
will always last
And since each day is the same
there’s no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you
did some things you knew you shouldn’t do.
You have been forgiven and
now at last you’re free.
So won’t you come and
take my hand and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts with out
me don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I’m right here in your heart.
~Author unknown~
My heart has stopped beating,
yet I am still alive…? I feel empty,
my heart has been torn apart, my body I don’t feel anymore . . .
all I feel is pain – pain and heartache
I cannot describe, too much to bear,
too much to ever get over.
Nothing I can do to make it go away.
It is destroying me.
Raven, you are and will always be mommy’s “good bird”. I love you more than words can say, you know that, you mean everything to me. You were my life, my soul mate. Our little “kraah”, our featherd child. No matter the pain, no matter the heartache, I would love you over and over again, you were a true blessing in my life. The only thing I would change, I would never ever separate from you, ever again.
We wanted you to live your life, as a real wild bird, out there, with other crows, making your own family. It broke our hearts bringing you to the wildbird center, after long 6 months and 20 days of sharing our lives with you, but we didn’t wanna be selfish. Out of love for you. I know you knew that. Remember I told you, and you didn’t want me to cry? I wanted to be strong, for you my love, for you.
You deserved to get your freedom back. Never would we have expected to return your lifeless body home only 6 days later. One last time I kissed your soft head. Our lives have shattered, our hearts are broken. I know it was YOUR decision to leave this world, so you can come back, and we can start over again where we left… so I followed your wish, and spread your ashes in the wind….
Not a second goes by that I don’t think of you, not a second goes by that I don’t don’t miss you, there are so many “what if’s..” and “if only…”, but they’re all invane now. Please help me find peace, I need you, I need you to go on, please help me Raven. I will never forgive myself.
Raven, you are part of me, our bond can never be destroyed. I love you beyond everything, and I will never be the same. Because of you my little kraah, because of you. I can’t wait to kiss your softest head again… Until then, be a good bird, enjoy your “splish splash’s”, make all the noise you want, no more “be quiet”, I miss your voice so much!!!
Thank you for your love, support, understanding, kisses, snuggles, and of course your “CIAO’s”. You have made me the proudest mommy ever, Raven. You have left HUGE kraah prints on our hearts, we miss you more than words can say. Never will we forget you, never will we stop missing you. Never will we stop loving you. My love, my life. My Raven. “Good Bird”. Go fly with the Angels now…you are our Angel.
In eternal love,
| Raven |
| 27, Dec 2008 |
| Yvonne |