It has been three days since I lost my little dog. And the pain inside my heart is still so intense. Seems like all it takes is one little thought of her and I just break down. She was always so comforting
in any time of need.
Now it just feels as if there is nowhere to turn. I can’t help but look to the road where she was killed. And thinking of the horrible moment when I ran outside and saw her lying there. I just stood there screaming. I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t come to the terms that the dog I had loved for so many years was dead.
I just stood there in the middle of the road trying to protect her from anyone else hitting her. I could just feel my heart breaking, like someone had just hit me. I couldn’t sleep at all that night. I would try to lie down, but I was so used to her sleeping with me, all I could do was cry. You really realize how the little things mean so much. Like how she always kept my feet so warm at night. Or if I was sick how she would never leave my side. And when I am cooking, I would look down and she had the saddest little eyes. It made you think that she was starved to death. So, of course, she got to sample everything first. Now there is no one there.
I miss her so much and it just seems to be getting worse. My kids are to little to understand why I am crying. So I try to hold it back until they are asleep. I would give anything to have her with me. But that is just a case of what is and what shall never be again. Last night I thought I heard her walking through the house. So I rolled over and said “Come here Bud”. I slept like a newborn baby. Maybe because I had an angel by my side.
I love you, Bud.
| Alisha & Momma |