Max by Joey

Max

Words alone cannot describe what you mean to me. It has been one year since your passing and it is still so painful – I think it’s even more painful now than when I let you go; after all I really had no choice but to end your suffering and the decision was pretty much spelled out for me in black & white.

Darling

I will never ever forget what you did for me. You were a soul-mate in a kitty-cat still just a baby really only having had five months of an enjoyable life out of the two years you went uncared for. You changed my life; you were God’s gift of salvation to me during a potentially life-threatening time and perhaps I might have been God’s gift to you for the bond like we had together doesn’t operate on a one-way street.

Now a year after your passing I find myself wrought with guilt over your death. I keep going back to the original thought “If only you hadn’t been meant for me you wouldn’t have had to die.” Because I believe that in order for me to understand that I couldn’t die you had to die. Confusing train of thought hope you can follow but it’s what I question myself with everyday and I am now sunken into a depression as deep as an infinitesimal black hole; if I could reach in and pull you out I wouldn’t hesitate. But then again that might be the most selfish move I could make because you’re strong and healthy now watching me with your wings (oh darling you earned those wings the moment you stepped into my life!) from your little window-perch in heaven.

So for now I am just going to have to content myself with the hard fact that I gave you as much love as you did me during those short cold five months we spent sighing to each other next to the fireplace and remember that we will meet again someday in some form or another. Until then kitty just stay good up there and give God one of those super
Max hugs for me OK?

I love you with all my heart and nothing can ever take that away. You are dearly and dreadfully missed but your soul influences me every single day of my life.

Your Joey-girl