Missy by Denise Hutchinson

Missy,

You came into our lives 14 years ago. It was hard to believe that you were not wanted in your first home. When they said they didn’t want you, it took me less than 5 seconds to say that I would take you. I wasn’t sure if I would be keeping you or not, but needless to say we all fell in love with our little Missy, or as I called you, “Missy Mouse”. What a cutie you were with your big bunny ears that stood up so straight. You were always such a happy little girl who loved everyone.

Three years ago you had your first stroke, we got you through that and you seemed to be doing fine. Then you had two more mini strokes and lost most of your eyesight. But you were like the “Energizer Bunny” and was just as hyper as ever. Eventually you lost your eyesight completely. You managed to get around quite well, even navigating the steps to go outside.

It was only the last year that we started carrying you outdoors. You seemed happy until we lost your buddy “Jillian” to cancer in February, 2008. We were all shocked to find out that Jillian was so sick because she didn’t have any obvious symptoms until the very end. After Jillian passed you seemed to change. You seemed depressed, you wandered aimlessly looking for her in the house. I tried to comfort you, but you didn’t want to be held, you wanted to continue checking every nook and cranny in the house. It was very sad to see you doing that, since you had never done that before.

Days, weeks, months went bye, but you didn’t seem like the Missy that I once knew. You never bonded with the other dogs, and for the most part kept to yourself. A new puppy came into our lives, but you wanted nothing to do with her. At some point you lost your hearing as well, but you could still smell very well and always knew when your meal was being prepared. You may have lost your sight and hearing, but you never lost your appetite.

In April I noticed that your belly looked bloated. It seemed to happen very suddenly. I contacted the vet and I brought you in to be examined. I was so hoping that you just had some type of intestinal issue and that with medication you would be fine. Sadly, that was not the case, the vet determined based on the tests that you had liver cancer. As he was explaining what he had found, I felt like I did just 15 months ago when he told me that Jillian had stomach cancer. It was another punch in the stomach!!!

I wanted to know what could be done for you, unfortunately, there wasn’t much that could be done. You were not a good candidate for surgery based on your history of strokes, plus the fact that you were 14 years old. I told the vet that I would not put you through the trauma of surgery unless there was a guarantee that you would be fine. We all knew that wasn’t possible. I said, “let me just take my girl home and keep her comfortable for as long as I can.” You did OK for the next two and a half weeks, you ate well and drank, but then you had another stroke. I knew at that point that I would be losing my “Little Missy”. I brought you to the vet again not knowing if I was going to let you go. I knew when I got you there that I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I asked the vet to help you, so he gave you some meds and I took you home. At the time the vet did not think that you were in any pain. Later that day you ate a little food and drank some water. I was feeling optimistic again. By 8:00 that evening you started vomiting. I stayed up with you through out the night. You would try to rest, but it was obvious that you were in pain. Finally by 5:00am the next morning you finally fell asleep from exhaustion. I couldn’t sleep and decided that I did not want you to be in pain any longer, it was time. I had been telling you for the last couple of days that you could go and be with your buddy, Jillian. I told you that it was OK to go, that I would miss you, but I would be fine. But you hung in there, I felt you didn’t want to go because I believe you knew how much I loved you and how upset I would be.

On our way to the vet that morning I held you in your favorite blanket and told you how much I loved you and what a good girl you were. You seemed to relax a little, like you knew what was happening, you finally seemed at peace. I held you the entire time until it was time to let you go. I never took my hands off of you, I kissed your bunny ears, and your little paws, told you again how much you were loved, and I told you to say hello to Jillian for me. I rested my head on yours until you passed. In a matter of a few seconds you were gone forever, my wonderful little Missy was no longer in pain. I was very relieved for you. My heart was breaking, but I kept telling myself that you were now in a better place, and that you were once again with your buddy Jillian.

I will always cherish the fourteen years that we were together, I wish it could of been longer, you were a great little friend and I will miss you until we meet again.

Rest in Peace my little “Missy Mouse”, you will be forever in my heart.

Love, your mom, Denise