" Dockey "
March 1991 ---- July 30 2000
MY COMFORT-HUGGY DOG
MY BOY DOCKEY - A VERY LOVABLE DOG
TO MY DEAREST DOCKEY,
THERE WAS SNOW ON THE GROUND THE DAY YOU WERE BORN
WHEN WE FOUND YOU WITH YOUR BROTHER AND SISTERS UNDERNEATH
THE NEIGHBOR'S BARN FLOOR - WHERE LUCKY (YOUR MOTHER)
SHOWED US TO LOOK. WE WERE SO EXCITED AS WE PUT YOU ALL IN
THE BIG BROWN CARDBOARD BOX AND TOOK YOU ALL HOME IN
THE BRONCO. YOUR MOTHER WAS SO NERVOUS BUT SHE COULD SENSE
THAT WE LOVED YOU ALL ALREADY LIKE FAMILY.
SANDY (OUR TAN DOGGIE OF MANY YEARS) KINDLY ALLOWED YOU
TO ENTER AND JOIN HER AS AN EXTENDED DOG FAMILY.
I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT DAY. TED AND ALEX AND POP AND
GRANDMA WERE EXCITED TOO. IT WAS SUCH A JOYOUS DAY.
YOUR MOTHER-LUCKY SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT ONCE SHE
REALIZED ALL OF YOU WERE SAFE AND WARM INSIDE OUR HOUSE.
YOU WERE SO SMALL AND SWEET - TINY LIKE ADORABLE WHITE MICE.
YOU WERE ALWAYS THE SKINNY ONE ALL LEGS BOUNCY SPRINGY.
YOU WERE LIKE A GAZELLE - RAN LIKE BE-BOP DID - ONLY HE
WAS ALL BLACK. YOU WERE ALL WHITE.
I OFTEN THOUGHT YOUR NAME SHOULD'VE BEEN PRANCER
THE WAY YOU PRANCED INTO THE ROOM WITH THAT CLASSY PRANCE
OF YOURS - GORGEOUS. YOU MADE ME WANT TO BE ALL DRESSED
UP WHEN I WALKED NEXT TO YOU SO FANCY SO
BEAUTIFUL-LOOKING - YET YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT.
I CAN STILL PICTURE YOU HAPPY SCRATCHING AT THE DOOR
IMPATIENTLY WAITING TO BOUND OUT THE DOOR AND THROUGH
THE FIELD ALWAYS FASTER THAN THE OTHERS. I SMILE.
DOCKEY I WILL MISS YOU FOREVER.
THE DAY YOU DIED A PART OF MY SOUL WENT WITH YOU.
I NEVER REALIZED HOW REALLY SICK YOU WERE THAT SATURDAY
NIGHT WE WENT TO CORNELL I THOUGHT JUST LIKE ANY
OTHER TIME YOU WOULD BE SHARING THAT LONG RIDE HOME
TO PENN. - WITH ME. INSTEAD I CAME HOME ONLY WITH BLUE ALIVE.
YOU WERE IN A BOX. BLUE FAINTED WHEN SHE SAW. I NEVER SAW
A DOG FAINT BEFORE. SHE LOVED YOU - THE WAY YOU LICKED
HER AND TOOK HER SIDE AS SHE WAS SO SMALL
COMPARED TO THE OTHERS.
DOC YOU DIED SO UNEXPECTEDLY.
I DID AND SAID ALL THE WRONG THINGS. I WAS MECHANICAL
AND THINKING "HELP," NEVER REALIZING WHAT YOU WERE SUFFERING
OR HOW MUCH AND THAT THIS WAS GOOD-BYE A COLD
AND INADEQUATE EVEN HURTFUL GOOD-BYE.
I THOUGHT THEY WOULD SAVE YOU. Oh DOC KNOW THAT I WOULD'VE
HUGGED YOU TIGHT KISSED YOU IF I HAD KNOWN. . . I SHOULD
HAVE SAID A LOT OF THINGS THAT NIGHT TO YOU WHISPERED I LOVE YOU,
BUT NO - IT WAS ALL MEDICAL WORDS AND "YOU BE A GOOD BOY.
I'LL BE BACK LATER" (SO YOU WOULDN'T WORRY)
THEIR CALL WAS IMPOSSIBLE - WHEN I LEARNED YOU DIED ONLY
HOURS LATER. THEIR REPORT MADE ME ACHE.
IT SAID YOU WERE DEPRESSED - VERY DEPRESSED I FELT I WAS
TO BLAME. I LEFT YOU AT CORNELL TO SAVE YOU BUT IT MAY HAVE
SEEMED TO YOU THAT I LEFT YOU THERE TO DIE. . . I HOPE NOT.
I HATED MYSELF SO INADEQUATE WERE MY ACTIONS AND
UNDERSTANDING. I IGNORED THE WEIRD LOOK IN YOUR EYES NOT
REALIZING IT TOLD HOW SICK YOU WERE - I JUST DIDN'T KNOW.
I DID THE WRONG THING - AND FOR THAT I'M TRULY SORRY.
DOCKEY YOU BROUGHT SO MUCH JOY AND LOVE TO THIS FAMILY
YOU WILL NEVER KNOW. NOW HAVE FUN IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD.
RUN IN THE HEAVENLY FIELDS OF FLOWERS;
FIND AND STAY WITH MOM ("GRANDMA') TIL WE GET THERE.
SOMEDAY I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN AND HUG YOU SLEEP BACK TO BACK
WITH YOU THE WAY WE DID - YOU WERE A COMFORT TO ME. -
REMEMBER WHEN PRINNA WAS LOST AND YOU GOT UP EACH HOUR
TO SEARCH FOR HER WITH ME? - IN BETWEEN WE HUDDLED TOGETHER
IN BED PRAYING FOR PRINNA'S RETURN.
SHE DID! YOU LICKED ME TENDERLY HAPPILY.
I HUGGED AND KISSED YOU.
ONE DAY IN HEAVEN AS WE ASK GOD TO LET IT BE WE WILL BE
TOGETHER AGAIN AND CONTINUE OUR HAPPY LIVES TOGETHER
IN A BETTER PLACE - WHERE THERE IS NO SORROW SICKNESS
DEATH OR PAIN. I LOVE YOU DOC.
YOU ARE PART OF MY FLOCK AS WE ARE ALL PART OF GOD'S FLOCK.
WAIT FOR ME.
OH "DOCKADOO" WITH THE FUNNY POINTED HEAD.
(I USED TO SAY "HEY CHICKEN-HEAD BECAUSE YOUR FUR ON
YOUR HEAD LOOKED LIKE CHICKEN FEATHERS NEAR THE POINTED
PART OF YOUR HEAD. REMEMBER?)
I CAN SEE YOUR WISTFUL DEEP DARK BROWN EYES THAT SEEMED
TO KNOW EVERYTHING. I CAN SEE YOUR LONG SLEEK
WHITE LEGGY BODY SILKY WHITISH TAN EARS YOUR BEAUTIFUL
WHITISH (WITH YELLOW STREAKED) FUR YOUR UPTURNED
HAPPY TAIL YOUR PINKISH NOSE -
HOW I WOULD TOUCH YOUR NOSE PLAYFULLY AND SAY "BOINGY" AND
YOU WOULD MAKE A BABY FACE BY RUBBING YOUR FACE WITH YOUR PAWS
THEN REACH YOUR LONG LEGS OUT TO MY FACE AND NECK.
WE'D LAUGH SO MANY MORNINGS LIKE THAT.
LAUGH MOST MORNINGS LIKE THAT. . .
ALL OF YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS MISS YOU TERRIBLY.
YOUR DEVOTED MOTHER (LUCKY) HAD A TEAR STAINED FACE FOR
WEEKS. YOUR DOG FAMILY (ALL 5) GOT SICK AFTER YOU DIED
THEY TOOK IT HARD. I CAN STILL PICTURE THE WAY YOU OPENED
DOORS FOR YOUR DOG-FAMILY. I CAN SEE HEAR THEM YAPPING,
AND PICTURE THEM NIPPING AT YOUR HEELS AS YOU STOOD ON YOUR
TALL HIND LEGS AND TURNED A DOOR KNOB TO OPEN A DOOR.
THEY'D ALL RUN OUT WITH YOU! YOU WERE DEFINITELY THE GENIUS
OF THE GROUP. I REMEMBER YOU DRINKING AT THE WATER
BOWL IN THE KITCHEN OF THE FARMHOUSE.
WHEN WE WOULD WANT TO GET BY YOU WOULD AUTOMATICALLY TURN
SIDEWAYS SO WE COULD PASS BY ALL THE WHILE CONTINUING TO DRINK.
YOU ANTICIPATED THE SPACE WE'D NEED TO GET BY.
YOU ALWAYS HAD YOUR EYE ON EVERYTHING WITH SUCH AMAZING
DISTANCE JUDGMENT. . . SUCH ACCURACY WHEN YOU JUMPED.
AND WE LOVED THE WAY YOU WOULD GRAB OUR HANDS AND LEAD US
WHEREVER YOU WANTED US TO GO - SO CAREFUL NOT TO HURT US
WITH YOUR TEETH. . . AND ALWAYS NOTICING A LOOK IN AN
EYE OR A WAVE OF A HAND - A SIGNAL FROM US TO COME. . .
THEN WE'D BARK FOR YOU TO COME TO DINNER (6 BARKS).
NOW YOUR ALEX SLEEPS NEXT TO AN EMPTY PILLOW - YOUR PILLOW.
HOW HE ACHES FOR YOU. POP TOO ACHED WHEN YOU WERE
SUDDENLY GONE - HE MISSED GIVING YOU YOUR SECRET SECOND
BREAKFAST ABOUT WHICH THE OTHER DOGS KNEW NOTHING - AND,
LITTLE GRANDMA MISSED YOU LYING NEAR HER AS SHE WATCHED
TV - AND NOW SHE'S GONE - ONLY WEEKS AFTER YOU!
PLEASE FIND HER. COMFORT HER MAKE HER LAUGH.
AND TEDDY MISSES HAVING YOU BARGE BY THE POINTED
COMPUTER DRAWER ALMOST HITTING YOUR TEMPLE DISRUPTING
THINGS TO TAKE YOUR PLACE AMONG THE DOGS IN HIS SMALL ROOM.
BUT YOU WANTED TO BE NEXT TO US - SO FAITHFUL.
I CAN REMEMBER YOU LYING NEXT TO ME WAITING PATIENTLY WHILE
I WAS ALWAYS WORKING ON MY BOOKS AT THE COMPUTER -
YOU WERE SO SWEET AND PATIENT - OH MY DOCKEY-BOY.
I CRY FOR YOU - AND FOR MOM TOO.
MAMA-LUCKY AND YOUR BROTHER-BIG BOY AND
YOUR SISTERS - BLUEBELLE PRINCESS AND BIG GIRL - ALL PINE TOO.
DOCKEY I HAVE PRAYED TO GOD IN JESUS' NAME THAT WE CAN ALL
BE TOGETHER AGAIN IN HEAVEN ONE DAY UNDER GOD'S GREAT
UMBRELLA OF POWER AND LOVE - FOR ALL ETERNITY NEVER TO CRY,
OR BE SAD AGAIN. WE HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN YOU AND WE PRAY
THAT GOD REMEMBERS AND SAVES ALL ANIMALS ESPECIALLY OUR
FAMILY OF ANIMALS AND ESPECIALLY YOU.
WE STAND ON GOD'S WORD THAT IF WE ARE IN HIM AND HE IN US
THEN WHATEVER WE ASK IN JESUS' NAME WILL BE
AND WE ASK ON THAT BASIS THAT YOU BE IN HEAVEN AND
THAT WE WILL BE WITH YOU IN HEAVEN WHEN WE DIE.
SEE YOU THEN!
NOW MY DEAREST FRIEND AND SWEET ANGEL-DOGGIE,
PLEASE REST IN PEACE .
WE BURIED YOUR BODY IN THE FIELD.
WE CAN SEE YOUR GRAVE FROM ALMOST ANY WINDOW FROM THE HOUSE,
AND FROM THE STOOP IN THE DOG PEN ON WHICH YOU OFTEN SAT
TO PERUSE THE FIELD IN THE MORNING.
DOCKEY YOU LEFT SO FAST. I KEPT WONDERING IF I COULD HAVE
SAVED YOU BY DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY - AN ANTIBIOTIC
BEFORE WE LEFT OR HONEY ON THE TONGUE.
I PLAGUE MYSELF WITH GUILT. FOR SOME REASON THINGS TOOK MY
ATTENTION AWAY FROM YOU THE LAST TWO MORNING OF YOUR LIFE
WHEN YOU NEEDED ME MOST. I LET YOU DOWN.
I DID NOT REALIZE HOW BAD THINGS WERE.
I HOPE YOU FORGIVE ME AND KNOW THAT I ALWAYS
LOVED YOU AND I LOVE YOU NOW -
INTENSELY AND FOREVER.
NOW RUN AND PLAY IN THE CLOUDS IN HEAVEN . . .
IN GOD'S CARE - THE ETERNAL SHEPHERD NOW WATCHES US ALL.
LET GODS LIGHT WARM YOU GOODNIGHT MY SWEET ANGEL.......
LOVE ,
MOM ALEX TEDDY POP AND GRANDMA,
YOUR DOGGIE-MOM LUCKY YOUR BROTHER BIG BOY AND
YOUR SISTERS - BLUEBELLE PRINCESS AND BIG GIRL
WE ENTRUST YOU TO GOD'S CARE!
| Dockey |
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