Tootsie

MY BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL
MY SWEETIE-PIE
MY TOOTS-A-BELLY

IT WAS 1 YEAR YESTERDAY THAT YOU DIED IN MY ARMS AT HOME. I KNEW THE STERIODS TO HELP YOU WALK WOULD HAVE SIDE AFFECTS BUT I NEVER THOUGHT YOU’D DIE. I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD JUST DIE LIKE THAT. SNORING ONE MINUTE. WAKING UP WITH YOUR HEAD IN MY LAP SMILING AT ME LIKE ONLY YOU COULD-THEN STOP BREATHING.

I COULDN’T ACCEPT THAT YOU’D GONE- FOR HOURS I TRIED TO BRING YOU BACK. WE LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH. I ALWAYS THOUGHT THE SOUND OF MY VOICE AND MY LOVING TOUCH COULD WAKE YOU. YOUR SISTER BEA WAS WITH US. SHE LICKED YOUR EYES FOR HOURS TRYING TO WAKE YOU BUT YOU HAD GONE MY BABY ALL 13 STONE OF YOU- WE MISS YOU SO MUCH –

WE VIST YOUR GRAVE EVERY WEDNESDAY [THE DAY YOU DIED] AND EVERY SUNDAY- YOU HAVE THE BIGGEST GRAVE IN THE CEMETREY A DOUBLE PLOT. I DIDN’T WANT YOU SQUASHED INTO A SMALL PLACE-YOU HAD YOUR OWN SOFA AT HOME AND WOULD STRETCH OUT THE FULL LENGTH OF IT BUT YOU PREFERED MY SOFA-YOU’D STAND AND LOOK AT ME UNTIL I GOT UP THEN YOU’D CLIMB UP AND SIT LOOKING AT THE CUSHIONS UNTIL I’D PLACE THEM IN A PILE FOR YOU THEN YOU’D LAY DOWN WITH YOUR HEAD ON THEM AND STRETCH OUT SO I HAD TO SIT ON THE FLOOR AS LONG AS I WAS TOUCHING YOU.

YOU WERE HAPPY IF I SAT IN THE CHAIR OR ON YOUR SOFA. YOU’D WHINE. THE ONLY PERSON YOU’D MAKE ROOM FOR WAS BEA YOUR SISTER. YOU’D BOTH LAY BUM TO BUM AND WATCH TELLY AND BARK AT ANY ANIMAL THAT CAME ON. IF FOOTBALL WAS ON YOU’D CRY UNTIL I BOUGHT YOUR BALL TO YOU SO YOU KNEW IT WASN’T YOURS THEY WERE PLAYING WITH-YOU MADE ME LAUGH EVERYDAY OF THE SEVEN YEARS I WAS PRIVILEDGED TO BE YOUR MUMMY.

I PAINTED ALL YOUR FLOWER POTS PINK YESTERDAY AND LIT A PINK CANDLE FOR YOU. YOUR GRAVE LOOKS SO SWEET – JUST LIKE YOU MY ANGEL. I’LL NEVER GET OVER LOSING. YOU BUT 1 YEAR ON I’M TRYING TO FOCUS ON ALL THE HAPPY TIMES WE SHARED. I’VE HOURS AND HOURS OF YOU ON FILM AND HUNDREDS OF PICTURES.

AT THE TIME PEOPLE SAID I WAS CRAZY FILMING YOU AND BEA ALL THE TIME BUT NOW I’M SO GLAD I DID TO SEE YOU RUNNING IN THE SEA AND CHASING BALLS AND STONES YOUR BEAUTIFAL TAIL WAGGING ALL THE TIME. WE THREE WERE SO HAPPY TOGETHER – I DIDN’T TAKE A HOLIDAY FROM THE DAY I HAD YOU AT 7 WEEKS CAUSE I COULDN’T BARE TO LEAVE YOU AND I STILL WON’T LEAVE BEA EVEN FOR A HOUR

SHE COMES TO WORK EVERYDAY AND IF I NEED TO GO TO THE SHOPS I GET SIMON TO SIT WITH HER. SHE STILL PINES FOR YOU. SHE NEEDS ME SO MUCH – I NEED HER TOO.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TOOTS AND HAVE FOUND COMFORT READING THE STORY OF RAINBOW BRIDGE KNOWING WE WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN – I CAN’T WAIT BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR BEA SO FOR NOW MY PRECIOUS BABY GIRL RUN AND PLAY WITH ALL THE OTHER FURRY ANGELS –

KNOW I LOVE YOU AND ONE DAY
WE WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN
FOR ETERNITY.
XXXX

Paula and Bea