When he was here my arms were full,
but never too heavy to bear him,
never too tired to hold him.
He was my life, my joy and my strength,
And always he was the sun through my rain.
Coming to me when I needed a hug–
When loving “too much” was to him,
never enough;
In all the world who would’ve thought
So much joy–
Could’ve come from one four-legged, furry boy?
Year after year time passed and we grew;
As long as he was with me I always knew…
He’d be here forever with me, but you see?
He’s not here. He’s not here.
Many nights have passed filled with so many tears–
Who will ever comfort me? Where is he? He’s not here!
I try and I try to be strong yet I cry!
When will it ever end? Can my heart ever mend?
I’ll never again feel his beating heart and smell his sweet scent against my chest—
And no more of his kissing away my tears without rest.
I can never look upon his gentle, dark eyes, but just stare at myself in the mirror…and realize…
He’s not here.
Janine M. Lay 1/31/03
Patrick Seamus MacGyver Ist was a clear red sable shetland sheepdog, purchased from Jeannie and Doug Gallagher at Shangri-La Shelties in Meadville, PA. He picked me in November of 1991 by doing a little dance in front of me and my ex-husband to get our attention. He was born on a beautiful horse farm out in the country. He was 17″ tall and weighed 40 pounds, he was big and beautiful. Bigger than most shelties.
He loved his family which included Grandma Marti and Papa Lew, Aunt Beth, Uncle Rob and Rick. He loved to ride in cars, play in the snow and to play with his cousin, Davey, our beloved family dog, who is part golden retriever and part husky, we think. MacGyver still to this day has a scar on his snout from a fight with Davey over a cheeseburger!
Since MacGyver was trained from a young puppy for confirmation, he loved to do tricks for a cookie. He knew sit, down, stay, come, heel, give paw, and sit up pretty. He went through confirmation and had five ribbons, including best of breed. I had him neutered and we went through obedience then. Unfortunately, he hit his “wee wee” on the hurdle and from that point on, stopped and walked around the hurdle. He never made it through advanced novice.
We also did flyball with Davey with the Lake Erie High Flyers, as well as agility, for one summer. Boy, did he love to perform and run, play, and do tricks. He was very good at catching frisbee.
For a sheltie, which are known for not really liking water, he loved to swim in our pool and at the lake, he jumped right in and swam out to me over waves and everything!
He could sing, “How Much Is That Doggie In The Window”, well, he did the “arf arf” at the appropriate times. MacGyver was also known as the baby-sitter doggie. He helped raise several of my girlfriend’s babies, and always left children learn to trust dogs for the first time with him. He used to take a stick to a baby puppy or child and teach the other to play tug of war. How cute. He also did pet therapy with me in nursing homes. He loved the elderly and was patient and loving toward them. He loved his great grandma, “Nanny” so much. She is in heaven with him, now. I used to dress him up for Halloween, too. In October of 2001, he was a viking with a helmet and cape! I took him with a friend and passed out candy bars to the sick and frail at a nursing home here in St. Petersburg. The staff loved him, too.
Everywhere MacGyver went, children shouted, “It’s Lassie!” They thought he looked just like the dog on the beloved series. It’s the very show that inspired me to get a sheltie in the first place.
He made it through my trip to Seattle, WA and back, my marriage and divorce, and through my graduation from R.N. nursing school. He was my strength, support, and humor through many a trying time. God only knows how I would ever have made it through what I have in the last 11+ years if I hadn’t had MacGyver!
When my mom was diagnosed, as a shock to us all, of ovarian cancer, he got me through the tears of all that. By then, he had moved with me down here to Florida. Who would’ve ever thought he would die of cancer in the end?
Many people from Erie, PA to Seattle, WA to St. Petersburg, FL have loved MacGyver. His gentlemanly mannerisms, his sweetness with litte creatures was precious. He has interacted with horses on farms, kitties, puppies, ducks, you name it! He always thought he could catch the geese on the golf course up home in Erie. One time he ran so fast across the greens, I thought he was going to take off like a plane! He always remembered the buffalo that stood along the fence at the edge of the golf course that was the end of the Erie Zoo. Would you believe he tried to herd it, too? He was a born sheepherder.
His best buddie for several of his puppy years was Beau, a beautiful domestic grey and white shorthair cat we all loved. Beau and MacGyver loved to “box”, a sheltie pastime!
MacGyver was always healthy and full of life and spunk and even at age 11 was very much puppy! He looked and acted like a 5 year old. Hardly any cataracts, no graying, and the absolutely most thick, luxurious soft coat. He was the envy of many breeders and he was all mine! We shared popcorn and occasionally, pizza–his favorite treats! Anything he wanted that was healthy, of course. His favorite people were the groomers who grew to love and care for him, the latest being Piccadilly Pet Salon. But I would have to say, next to me, his favorite person in the whole wide world was Papa Lew, my father. He loved Papa’s beard and great backrubs.
My favorite nicknames for him were: fluffynutter, babyboy, Gyverkins, scruffybutt, and numerous others I can’t recall. Papa Lew called him, “little Mac”. My favorite thing to do with him was play fetch and he knew all the names of each and every toy. His favorite toys were in order: the booda bone tug-of-war toy, his teddy bear, the ball, his hot dog. I loved to ask him after I’d gotten home from work all those years, “Did you miss a Mommy?” He would go crazy wagging his tail and doing his body dance, as only a sheltie can do. Whenever a dog barked on t.v. or someone was at the door.——oh boy, did he bark and charge at the door.
I would have to say my favorite thing of all was when I would ask him a question, he really did know what I was saying. He would cock his head to one side. God, I loved that. Like, when I said, “Wanna goooooooo….to the beach? For a walk? Play frisbee? He loved being with me and going bye-bye in the car to Petsmart, or anywhere, for that matter.
It’s hard to believe that he could go from all that to being sick in one week. I noticed he was getting slower going up and down the stairs, but his appetite was good and his demeanor was still jovial and sprite.
When MacGyver grew ill, he suddenly starting urinating blood when I was gone home to Erie for Christmas of 2002. He was with a petstitter and Chloe, my calico of 3 years, and his buddy as well. I came home and took him in to discover he had a mass in his bladder. He was operated on and it turned out to be transitional cell carcinoma, a tumor in my baby boy! Growing in the wall of the bladder. They removed it, but he had complications two days later and had to have surgery again to repair the bladder.
My poor baby. He was hurting and on a lot of pain medicine, but when I came to see him, he struggled to get up to come to me! He couldn’t even wag his tail or bark and my heart broke right there. How could I ever let him go? Explain to him what was happening to him? Pets never know why they are taken to the vet and have horrible painful things done to them. He’ll never know why he was left there by me.
The hardest thing I have to live with is wondering if, as he lay that last night in the hospital all alone and without anyone or his mommy….if he just died of a broken heart! When I saw him the next day, I sobbed for 2 and a half hours over his still soft, coat. Even in death, holding him and crying into his fur was what I needed to comfort me. I kissed him and held him and I couldn’t believe how perfect he was! He had just been groomed before surgery and he still smelled good. His face was at peace but his eyes were empty and saddened. I wanted to be the last face of love and the arms of love he felt as he passed over, to be able to give him that would have been great. Maybe God spared me the sadness of that event. I’ll never know. I was and am still not ready to say good-bye. Will I ever be able to stop crying over him? They say the length of your mourning period is directly related to how much you loved the one who died. In that case, I’ll be mourning him for the rest of my life.
I just hope he wasn’t in pain. Since his passing, I have gotten a new sheltie puppy, a girl this time. Her name is The Spirit of MacGyver’s Miss Daisy. MacGyver, know this. She can never replace you. Daisy is frail, tiny, petite, doesn’t have the beautiful coat you had. She isn’t from Champions, but I love her. She isn’t as willing to please me and eager to to learn tricks and do obedience and show off like you did. But she is my baby girl, now. Your pictures look down over everyone in my living room and your urn with your ashes is on display right in the heart of my home and I think of you every day. But now, I have Daisy and Chloe instead of you and Bosie. Do you understand you are still here in my heart? Forever? I hope you will be there to greet me when I come to see you in heaven when it is my time to pass over. I love you forever and ever baby boy.
Mommy loves you.