I buried my dog today. When I came home from work, he was lying on the ground dead. We wrapped him in his blanket and we gathered his favorite toys. We drove him out to the country where my folks have some land. I buried him on a hillside full of wildflowers. Tomorrow, I will load his doghouse that I built for him and
take it out to mark his grave.
He was on his chain, next to his doghouse. He had been hot because he had been drooling and he knocked over his water bucket to lie in the cool mud. This morning had been like any other morning. He ran around the house and licked everyone. He pressed hard up against us as we ate our toast. He chased the cat and slid the marble coffee table out of place as he tore through the house. Last night I was outside until midnight working on his fence so I could get him off that chain. Today, all I had left to do was hang the gate and he was going to be free of that chain forever. I fretted over not being able to finish last night until I finally nodded off around 3 a.m. I worried about it all day long. I had finally figured how to finish it tonight and as soon as I got off work I rushed home excited about letting him run free in the back yard. He didn’t jump up to greet me. He was lying dead in the mud on his chain.
I am so hurt and crushed and angry with myself. I was supposed to get off work at 4 but I had to work late and didn’t get home until 5. If I had been on time, maybe I could have done something. The neighbors said he was up and moving around when they got there at 3. Maybe if I had finished the fence last night, he could have gone to the cooler shade trees and not gotten so bad instead of collapsing in the mud and lying in the hot sun. It was almost time for his annual checkup. We talked about taking him this past weekend, but payday isn’t until next weekend. Maybe if we had taken him, the vet could have found something and caught it in time. I know that none of this is my fault. I know there is nothing I could have done. But it doesn’t stop me feeling this way. And I feel guilty because there are so many people with real tragedies in their lives and he was just a dog. But he was my dog and he was a dearly loved member of this family. He would have been 1 year old October 18th.
With my own two hands I dug a grave for him and laid him down forever. I buried my dog today.