A great and wonderful personality left my life yesterday. Kaylar, my cat and dearest friend of nearly 10 years, died in my arms last night. She is and will always be sorely missed. It seems like she was always with me, but I know there was a time before Kaylar and I’m now in the time after Kaylar. The time with her was too short.
She came into my life many years ago from an animal shelter–tiny, six weeks old and already bursting with those qualities that made her such a grand character. Kaylar came with innate curiosity, a whole lot of smarts and an inquisitiveness that carried her through this life and straight into my heart.
The very first day I brought her home, she got lost in the house and made a distinctive sound that became her “I’m lost in the house” sound. Just a few days ago, I heard her calling from the front of my house and I answered as always “Kaylar! I’m in here!” And she came running down the hall and climbed up in my lap.
Her smarts made her interesting. She tirelessly searched for the mouse pointer on the computer, spending a lot of time behind the monitor trying to see where it went. The Daytona 500 sent her behind the TV trying to find the cars. She always went for the highest spot in the house, even if it took her three days to figure out how to get up and how to get down. She figured it out. She spent hours trying to pull milk rings and ribbon balls out from under the couch so that we could have a good game of fetch.
Kaylar liked to be with me whenever and wherever she could. She’d sit in the bathroom sink while I got ready in the morning. She sat on my lap all through law school, ‘helping’ with the studying as only she could. She would sit at the computer with me–half on my lap, half on the desk, purring and half asleep while I did my work or surfed the net.
A little lithe tiger cat with golden green eyes and white racing stripes. I’ll never forget how she looked at life with such curiosity and at me with such trust and love. She always, always met me at the door when I came home. She’d always run to find me in the house, and sometimes, I’d run to find her. We played hide and seek. She always found me, but sometimes, she would hide really well. Then I’d call her and she’d come running to me, ready for play or pets or hugs.
Kaylar gave hugs. If you asked “Who wants hugs?” she’d make a special meow and reach up so you could pick her up easily. She would relax onto my left shoulder, put her paws around my arm and snuggle in, rubbing her head against me and purring wetly in my ear. Kaylar would stay on my shoulder as long as a let her. Sometimes she’d even fall asleep while I walked around with her like that.
Sometimes we’d take napes together and she would put her head on the pillow beside me, squinting at me with her eyes half-lidded, nearly asleep. Purring as loud as she ever did, she would put her front paws on my face and we’d go to sleep. Sometimes she’d snuggle into my side, turning around and around to get as close and tight in as possible. Sometimes, I’d sleep holding onto her like a teddy bear, and she’d purr through that too.
I’ll never see Kaylar at my door ready for hugs again. Nor on the couch, in the window or sacked out in the bathtub–a favorite spot. I’ll never feel her wet nose in my ear, or feel the strong–almost violent–vibrations of her happiest purrs. I’ll never look into those golden green eyes again see that steadfast, true love that she gave to me without question. I’ll never go and “find” my “lost” kitty again.
I hope she knows how much I loved her and how important she was–still is–to me. I hope that she knows I did the very best I could for her and always put her first. No other person or thing in this life will occupy the part of my heart that is hers forever.
Kaylar was a great gift and a blessing in my life. I was the lucky one to have known her and her going leaves a great hole in my heart and in my soul. She will always, always be my most special baby–my dearest friend whose love and loyalty never wavered. A wonderful light has gone out of this life and I will have to find other ways, now, of illuminating the days and years ahead.
I held her to me last night when she died. I was glad to be able to hold her and tell her how I love her and how precious she is and will always be to me.
She was an extraordinary personality.
So, Kaylar, my special kitten, thank you so much for every thing and every moment and for sharing your life with me. I’ll hold you in my heart forever. I’ll never forget you. I hope I’ll find you again somewhere for lots of hugs. You’ll never be lost again and I’ll always be deeply grateful for the wonderful, loyal, unconditional love you gave me every minute of your life. I miss you.