Missing You
As I write this letter to my friend, I’m in great pain, because I’ve just lost my greatest friend, brother and son.
How can I forget the first day I saw you. You were so little, just few weeks old, but by the look in your eyes, I knew we would spend a lot of happy years together. I needed you and you needed me.
You can say we grew up together, I was only twenty-one when you came into my life. How can I forget the wonderful times we shared together, playing in the yard, going out everyday together? As time went by, you watched my two girls being born, but never worried about them taking your place. Don’t worry Snoopy, they never did and I promise you no one ever will. In my heart, lies a very special place for you, and although the evil world has put us apart, your memories will always be with me.
It’s unbelievable how much I miss you. I see you in everything around me. I speak about you with everyone. You are one of the very few I could very well shout and say I LOVE YOU.
You never were jealous, never egoistic, always loving unconditionally. Always proud to be with me. When someone was ill, you would stay with him by the bed as long as it takes. You taught me what love really is. It’s funny how much we can speak without words.
As years passed by, you’ve seen Micio coming to our house as well. Although a cat you welcomed him as well. Years passed, and as they did I never wanted to think of the final day. Unfortunately though you were very healthy when you were young, during the last two years, things started going wrong. As you know we’ve been to the Vet so many times. As I used to wait in the Vet’s office, there was always that question in my mind “Is this the last time we’re together?’ but then she would give you some pills or injections and soon you’ll be better.
Until of course the 19th June. I watched you the night before, trying to get up but couldn’t. With great pain you asked for help, and I tried my best. Snoopy I hope you understand that what I’ve done is because I love you a lot, and that I never wanted to see you in pain. I couldn’t care about my feelings, how much I would love to keep you with me
for some more time.
My friend I feel a lot of guilt inside. I feel like I’ve betrayed you. How can I forgive myself? I know or hope that it was the right thing to do, there was no hope. I still remember the words the VET said “ I’m sorry, there is no more life in him, there is nothing more we can do for him, we should put him to sleep, he is in great pain.”
The worst moments in my life, where when I took the decision to put you to sleep. As I watched you dying, little by little. As you know I couldn’t stop talking to you and kissing you. I tried my best not to cry, so that you will not sense what was about to happen. The last few moments are imprinted in my mind and I relive them each day. Soon you died looking at me, kind of saying “ I love you and forgive you, thanks for giving me such a wonderful life…” Fourteen years together.
The world witnessed two great friends being forcefully departed from each other.Well, my friend, when you died, a part of me died with you. It’s funny how I look at life so differently now. Things that were considered important to me are now less important. I still try to look for you, even when I’m asleep. I now ask God to help me let you go.
As tears fill my eyes, I sincerely hope that wherever you are, you are as happy as you were here. I ask God to grant me a big wish, that we’ll be together again when the right time comes. Until then goodbye
my greatest friend, brother and son.
From your friend, brother and father.