My baby Dinky…. Today is your birthday. You would have turned 18. I had promised you a few months ago that I would have a birthday party for you. Not knowing that you would get ill from one day to the next. Although, you had congestive heart failure and arthritis for many years mommy kept you well under control. Mommy would make sure you never skipped a dose and would always take you in for your vaccinations. You would even go in for EKG and blood work once a year or more often if needed. I knew you didn’t like it but I had to make sure you were ok.
Your vet was so pleased to see that you were doing so well. But one day mommy took you in and your vet looked at me sadly and said he could smell kidney failure in your breath. We decided to do blood work to see how bad it was. Then your vet told me what signs to look out for. But for the mean time just to keep you comfortable. I went home and I was devastated. But as some days went by I went in denial.
You were doing do well. You were very alert. You would eat and drink as if nothing was wrong. I even took you into the vets office to show him how well you were doing. The vet was pleased but said he has being taking care of you for 17 yrs and did not want you to suffer. So when the day comes the best we could do is help you go to rest. I remember taking you home and saying to myself “my baby is going to be just fine.”
You had lived with a heart problem for so many year I thought you could live with this for sometime. But what I didn’t realize was that you were tired. I loved you so much that I could not see the signs you were giving me.
At times you would sleep all day and needed help getting out of bed. I wanted everything to be like when you were a baby and couldn’t wait to open your Christmas present. Or when you would go crazy running around the house when you heard the car keys. You knew mommy would take you for a car ride. Then on July 7th you became very ill and your kidneys shut down that evening.
Mommy watched you all night while you were sleeping. Then on July 8th at 6:00 am I took you in to be put to rest. It was the worst day of my life. But now I see that you were tired and wanted to rest long before your kidneys gave up on you. I am sorry for not seeing that. But I find comfort in knowing that when you were well you were very happy and loved for. Until we meet again mommy will forever have you in her heart every minute of the day.