Dear Sparky
I sit and try to write the words, I want your heart to hear.
Hoping to find some comfort, in the fact that you’re not here.
I look out onto the back porch, that you once occupied,
Knowing now that your spot is empty, because my love, you’ve died.
I do believe with all my heart, that your soul has gone to be,
With all the other angel dogs, that you were meant to see.
We will have to stay behind, until God calls us too,
So do not be afraid, that he’s only called for you.
The water is still, in the bowl that you drank,
and your bed is so empty, where your pretty head laid.
My bed is to empty, the spot you always lay,
all I can do it hope and dream of the day,
Of the one day my eyes will shut one last time,
and you will come greet me, angel of mine.
Until then, I’ll keep trying to see through my tears,
with memories you left us, to reflect through the years.
We’ll never forget one minute we spent,
of loving and laughing, of places we went.
And I dread the day that your scent disappears,
for it’s “proof” to me, Sparky, that you were just here!
But one day will come, when we’ll start to see through,
the pain of the moment, and remember just “you”.
Now you go and play, and look down when you can,
remembering we love you, and this isn’t the end.
Go run and play with Corky my sweetheart and eat til your hearts desire. I know how you loved to eat but there at the end even that was taken from you. How cruel and devastating kidney failure is, it was so unfair to you honey. I hope I didn’t make you stay beyond what you felt you could. You just wouldn’t give up, no matter how bad your blood levels were you still hung on, I think you did for me and for that I will forever be thankful. I wanted to be with you at the end more than you know but when I got the call from the vet that your body was failing I had to make a heart wrenching choice. Either let the vet send you on to the Rainbow Bridge without me being there to hold your paw or making you wait in pain & suffering until the next morning when I could arrive. You might have even passed away during one of your seizures alone in the night and that would have been so unfair.
So, I held my breathe, told the vet what I wanted him to whisper in your ear while you took your last breathe and made the humane decision to let you go.The vet hung up the phone but I held on, grasping the receiver so close to my heart hoping that you could feel me loving you one last time. I miss you so much, my heart feels as though it has broken in a million pieces. If only I could hold you, pet you, talk to you, love you…if only if only if only. I can say this a thousand times and there would still be a thousand more if only’s. One thing I can say is that I can never say “If only we had shown each other the love we had for one another, the loyalty, happiness, courage, friendship, caring, devotion and wonderful memories”! I can never say this because one thing we never wasted a moment to show each other these things.
Poems for my sweetheart
If It Should Be
“If it should be that I grow weak, And pain should keep me from my sleep, Then you must do what must be done, For this last battle cannot be won. You will be sad, I understand, Don’t let your grief then stay your hand, For this day more than all the rest, Your love for me must stand the test. We’ve had so many happy years, What is to come can hold no fears, You’d not want me to suffer so, The time has come, please let me go. Take me where my need they’ll tend, And please stay with me until the end, I know in time that you will see, The kindness that you did for me. Although my tail its last has waved, From pain and suffering I’ve been saved. Please do not grieve, it must be you Who had this painful thing to do, We’ve been so close, we two, these years, Don’t let your heart hold back its tears.” —
Lend Me A Pup
I will lend to you for awhile a puppy, God said For you to love him while he lives and to mourn for him when he is gone. Maybe for twelve or fourteen years, or maybe for two or three But will you, till I call him back take care of him for me? He’ll bring his charms to gladden you and (should his stay be brief) you’ll always have his memories as solace for your grief. I cannot promise that he will stay, since all from earth return, But there are lessons taught below I want this pup to learn. I’ve looked the whole world over in search of teachers true And from the folk that crowd life’s land I have chosen you. Now will you give him all your love Nor think the labour vain Nor hate me when I come to take my pup back again. I fancied that I heard them say “Dear Lord Thy Will Be Done,” For all the joys this pup will bring, the risk of grief you’ll run. Will you shelter him with tenderness Will you love him while you may And for the happiness you’ll know forever grateful stay. But should I call him back much sooner than you’ve planned Please brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand. If, by your love, you’ve managed my wishes to achieve, In memory of him that you’ve loved cherish every moment with your faithful bundle, and know he loved you too. —
I don’t know how long my heart will hurt or how long my tears will fall but I do know that my love for you will go on forever. Please take care of yourself and come by and let me know you are near.
You will forever remain in my heart my mind and my soul.