To My Mitsee Girl,
I found you wandering the streets so many years ago, just a puppy. I loved you from that moment on. You changed my life forever; you taught me the true meaning of unconditional love. You comforted me when I was sad, laughed with me when I was happy, protected me when I was scared and always did your happy dance when I walked through the front door. I will never be able to repay you for all of the love you showed me throughout our life together. I know over the last five years our relationship has been different, because of the husband and kids coming along and I didn’t have as much time for you and didn’t walk you like I had always done but that does not mean that I loved you any less.
I know your pain was getting worse and you couldn’t even get up off the floor the last week or so and you had been having slight medical problems over the last year or so and that I (hopefully) made the right decision to let you go. I will always regret the decision to put you to sleep and I will always carry the guilt of being upset toward you that last week of your life, I almost feel like I was trying to ignore you, that maybe if I didn’t look, it wasn’t happening. I’ll always be angry with myself because I feel like I let you down. I regret that, for the last week of your life, when you couldn’t support yourself while going to the bathroom outside and then just having accidents in the kitchen that I was getting aggravated with you, telling you as I tried picking you up to help you outside and back up the steps, to just try to walk and I was getting upset that you wouldn’t (because you couldn’t) do it. And I feel awful for telling you to be quiet when you were crying your last night because you had to stay in the kitchen and you had to go to the bathroom but you couldn’t get up, I know you were crying because you didn’t want to have any accidents in the house.
I feel awful that for a week, I let you just basically lay there, and I did nothing more than say hello to you and pet you for a little bit and give you your food and water. I’m sorry that I took you out into the yard so that I could bathe you before we made the trip to the vet but I just didn’t want you having to smell pee while you were “going to sleep”, I wanted to be able to at least try to give you a little dignity.
I am so sorry I let you go girl, but more sorry that I didn’t treat you with all the love that you deserved, especially at the end. I honestly thought you’d always be there, I guess that’s what it means when they say not to take someone for granted. I hope you know that I love you and I always will.
All My Love, Always Mitsee Girl,
| Mitsee Marco |
| 29, July 2006 |
| Karen Marco |