Hope Tatanka
What can I say about you? All the things I remember of our time together.
I guess I’ll start with the day I went to see you for the first time after I found the ad in the newspaper. I always wanted an Old English Sheepdog. Then, there it was in the paper, puppies for a price that I could afford.
We had just lost a dog and my brother was very sad, so I decided to go and see these puppies. Kim and I went after work to see them. Your parents came running up to the car barking like mad. We pulled in, and a bunch of little fur balls came running to say hello, all of them except you. You remained back, checking everything out before coming to say hi. I fell in love from the first moment I saw you. You were small and timid and something told me that you were a lot like me.
We talked to the people and decided that I was going to get you later that week when I got payed.
Finally the day came and I was anxiously waiting for Kim so we could drive out and get you. It was starting to snow and it was kind of difficult to get to your house, but that didn’t stop us. When we got there you were hiding, but the little girl found you and, having a very difficult time, she carried you to us. I picked you up and was petting you to try to calm you down. I discovered that you had one brown eye and one blue eye. Kim already had picked your name, and we named you Hope. My brother Erick was waiting at the house because you were to be a present for him for as long he was with us.
Kim went inside and made him sit and close his eyes. I walked in and put you in his arms and when he opened his eyes he was very surprised and happy to have you. He really liked you. I liked you too, but at that moment I had to sit back and let him enjoy the happiness of having a puppy for himself.
You slept with him and went with him everywhere. You two were inseparable. He took care of you for the first few months of your life with us. I was just there, content just seeing you and he have fun.
That year we bought our first house and we had to move. We moved to a house with a big yard and a lot more space. You enjoyed having a back yard that big until the first train passed by. I remember you got the biggest eyes and ran back into the house with a face full of fear. Poor baby, you were scared out of your wits. Eventually you got over it, but the first few times were really tough for you.
This move was close to Christmas and so we spent your first Christmas in the new house. You got the biggest bone we could find and a lot of toys. You also took over the little sofa that was Duchess and Tozani’s. You made it yours and didn’t let anybody else lay on it. It was very funny see you chewing that big bone, almost as big as you, and laying down on that little green sofa.
At first you were a little bigger than Duchess but not by much. By Christmas though, you were much bigger than them. They accepted you as one of them though and you grew up believing you were a miniature poodle. It was funny seeing you run between the legs of the chairs and under the table. Eventually that was no longer possible, and you would knock the chairs and the table over with your back. Then you would look at us as if asking why you could not fit under there anymore.
Erick took you out to see your first snow. You ran with him and got all you fur packed with the fun stuff. It was fun to see you and him running and playing in the snow, frolicking like two little deer. He loved you very much.
That summer Erick had to go back to Mexico and he could not take you with him so I was the one that assumed the roll of taking care of you from then on.
I used to brush you and bathe you. We spent uncountable evenings together with the brush and running in the back yard. I discovered that you loved the big balls that you can buy at the supermarket – the really thin big bouncy balls. You would run after them, kicking them your paws and trying to bite into them until you punctured them. Then you would bring them to me, asking with your big brown and blue eyes, to fix them so you could keep playing. These balls were the best present that we could ever buy for you. You liked them so much.
There are a lot of memories of our time together. It is hard to decide which ones to put on paper. I wonder if you remember all the adventures and the good times too?
Remember the time that we went to the powwow in Indiana and you got up early in the mornings and went around the camp begging for food at every campfire that you saw? Then you came back and had breakfast. Somebody gave you a set of feathers for your hair and you looked so pretty. After that, you went with us to every powwow. We went to the Covered Bridge Festival and you stayed with me in the old Chevy van. It was so cold that you and I curled up together to try to keep warm. We ate some BBQ and everything, it was fun.
Then Kim left and you picked up on my pain from being alone. You gave me all the love and attention that you could, taking care of me. You licked my face when I was crying until you made me smile. You took care of me when my diabetes would act up, and woke me up if I was asleep because you could sense that my sugar was low. You would stand by my side until we got to the kitchen and I could get something to eat and make myself better.
We went fishing and walking by the reservoir. We went down to the river and sat there looking at the water going by. We cooked outside and ate together. You always stayed by my side. Do you remember the stupid hair cut that I used to give you? And the time I cut your ear? I was so scared and mortified because I could not stop the blood.
We used to play frisbee , and you never wanted to give it back. You guarded my shoes and the only way to get them back was to give you a cookie. You brought the cans of wet dog food to bed every night so nobody could steal them. You loved to eat ice cream, butter pecan was your favorite.
Then we moved to Kansas City and you went with me, as always. You and I were never without each other. It was a tough time, but you were with me and that made me strong and made me keep going. Believe me, there were a lot of times that I wanted to quit and not live anymore, but just looking at you and seeing
your beautiful eyes made me go on.
Those eyes that looked at me as if to say, “come on mommy everything is going to be ok, you are my hero and nothing can happen to you, me, or my sisters, you can do it,
lead the way.”
My dear Hope, I am writing this because soon you will have to go to a place that I can’t go with you at this moment. Sooner or later I will be with you, but for now you will have to go alone. I wish I could, but I can’t. You have been with me for almost 14 years, and I wish with all my soul that it could be another 14 or even more. Unfortunately life is not like that and the good ones always go first. Nobody is as good as you have been with me and to me.
You are my friend, my very best friend, my companion, you have made my life enjoyable and full, you have given me so many things and taught me so many others. You have been there for me in good and bad times, you have been my strong pillar when I needed it so much.
Now the time has come that I have to let you go, to send you over the rainbow bridge and say good bye. Time has snuck up on us and age doesn’t forgive. Life goes on and doesn’t stop for anything or anybody, but I have faith that we are going to be together soon, and then we’ll continue making memories and having good times like we always have.
This time around there will be no suffering, no crying, no pain, no separation, no bad moments. Just fun times for you and I, together forever over the rainbow bridge.
Hope Always,
| Hope Tatanka |
| 28, Mar 2010 |
| Monica B Munoz |