Bica by Cathie Anderson / Mama

Dear Bica,

On January 18, 1996 the universe blessed this earth with the greatest dog ever, and some blessful chain of events, led me to meet my precious Bica for the first time.

I will never forget visiting the breeder and seeing you there, the smallest and most timid of your litter, big black spot on your side. You came right up to me and I knew
you were the one.

From the day I took you home, you have been such a blessing in my life. You challenged me, kept me fit with all your need for exercise, ruined my couch trying to “dig” in it. You slept in my bed and kept me company when I was sad, you made me smile and laugh so many times. Here is just a small list of all the thing you did for me.

1. Kept my feet warm on cold nights camping.
2. Protected my house, sounded the alarm when strangers (or friends!) approached.
3. Chewed up my cabinets.
4. Kept bad boyfriends at bay.
5. Taught me how to be responsible.
6. Kept me running, every day, sometimes twice a day.
7. Helped me see the beauty of living things.
8. Kept me company when I was sad.
9. Loved me unconditionally
10. Made me smile . . . everyday of your life.
11. You were there for me, sharing my office at work, every day of your life.

Almost 15 years with you passed by quickly and when I found out you had cancer in your leg, I was devastated. You were almost 15 years old and I felt sure I would have you at least until 18 or 19. You were still so healthy otherwise. But the vet took the xray and they could see it in your bones, and you could not use your leg. Since you always were a pro runner on three legs, I thought for sure we could just take your leg, and get you rid of the cancer. But with further investigation, the vet told me that it has already spread to your lungs, and that it was a very aggressive form of cancer and not treatable with any good degree of success. This was October 11, 2010.

You fought so hard, you stayed with us and you endured through the pain, and the hurt. You kept your spirit and your love. You were always with me and always my company. Always happy to see me when I got home, and always getting up to greet me, even though I know it hurt you to do that. You did that for me.

And on that last night, when you were struggling so hard to breathe, and I held you, and I was so sad to see your struggle, but I did not want to let you go, you asked me, you looked at me and I could see that you were tired, and you were ready. And you had probably been ready for a while, but I was not. But looking at you, and seeing you suffer like that, I knew that I could never be ready, and that it was not about me being ready because I never would be. But you were. And so on December 27, 2010, Daddy and I took you to the vet and I held you in my arms and loved you, and kissed you and I hope I helped you to pass
into the next world in peace.

Bica- You lived a great, big dog’s life. You took care of our family and you fought hard, and kept your tough terrier attitude to the end. As I held you in my arms while you passed to the next world, I could see that you were at peace. But I miss you, and I still miss you, and I will always miss you. There is a huge empty space in my life, and I miss taking care of you and holding and petting you. Please forgive me for the times I fell short in my care, or patience as you challenged me and as I let other conflicts in life take precedence over our friendship.

I have always loved you with all my heart, and I will never forget you. I am missing you, achingly, every single day, and even as I know I will heal, you will never, ever be forgotten. You deserve to be running, jumping, digging, and playing in a world where you are blissfully happy and can feel every bit of love and happiness that you gave me in your life here on earth with me.

 

I will always love my Bica girl. Be at peace in heaven for eternity. Our spirits will always be intertwined and I will meet you again one day in the land of our great Spirit.