Yesterday, Monday, December 12, 2005,
Snickers went home to Jesus.
He vomited all his food violently Sunday evening..and white foam – a lot more than usual. He was uneasy all night and could not settle into a comfortable spot until after 1am. This was the worst episode yet. I asked God and Snickers to help me know if this was time.
He got me up as usual Monday, December 12 for breakfast; no sooner did he eat – it all came up. I think it was time.
I made the call to the vet at 11:30am; Donna went with me – she picked me up and drove. I prayed the prayers I wrote and one more that I wrote specifically for Snickers from me and Alan – to send him back to Jesus. He was clearly not liking the vet visit and not sure what was going on…4 people surrounding him. But he stayed in my arms as I read the prayers.
He was given a sedative to relax him; his little leg was shaved; after he was clearly relaxed and lying comfortably (maybe more comfortably then he had for a long time..), the injection was administered. Within 3 seconds, his spirit was floating to God. His heart stopped. I was allowed to spend time with him – me and Donna, sobbing. I had telephoned Alan leaving messages on his cell phone so he knew what was happening.
How can I explain the horrible loss I feel? Snickers was MORE than a pet – he was an intricate and absolute staple to my life. My savior – a “little man” that found me in 1989 and brought comfort and total love to my life
when it was in turmoil.
I cry uncontrollably…and today, the next day…still cry uncontrollably. I loved him so much..more than my own life. I did what I felt was the absolute best for him when he was diagnosed with renal failure in May of 04. I could not get him to change his diet; he never liked pills or needles. And here I was..at the twilight of his 17 years, trying to give him both..so I would not have to face this event..and to try to keep him with me longer. The quality of his life was diminished; the time he spent being truly happy was so minimal.
I only try to envision Snickers in heaven now…running freely with no pain. Eating whatever he wants. Maybe he’s met my Mom; maybe he’s meeting and keeping George company. And maybe Snickers has even now been reunited with his birth family. He is being taken of now more than I could ever do without sacrificing his dignity. He deserved to be sent off with hugs, kisses and one last gift of my holding him. When he was gone, I picked up his little head..so limp. His fur was so soft and I just buried my face in it – I wanted to pick him up and take him home. He was treated with respect and carefully by the technician, wrapping him in a warm, crimson blanket.
I will be totally sad for a long time. I look for things that have his scent – I want to bury my face in them. I am planning on making a scrapbook of pictures and kind words from my friends, prayers I wrote, etc. He will be cremated Wednesday along with the three prayers I wrote for him and his 2 favorite toys – his Packer toy and little black toy. His little paws will be imprinted on a plaque. I will bring him home on Friday. I know the tears will start again..but he was well worth it. As much as I loved, I will grieve.
After all…home is where he truly belongs.
(Snickers…this is for you…you will ALWAYS be my “little man”. God bless you and know we miss you sooooooooooooooooo much. Give Jesus a little kiss, like you did us..to thank him for letting you come live with us. And Snickers, don’t you fret, cause your dad and I will one day be with you FOR ALL ETERNITY – I can’t wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
| Jacque Graveen |