My little Mitzie – what can I say? The most loving little baby girl in the whole wide world. We remember the day we adopted her. We went to a breeder to see this little blonde baby that was waiting for adoptive parents. When we got there, we were less than impressed with the conditions the puppies were living in, but we knew that everybody needed a mom and dad to love them, so we decided to stay and rescue a new baby from that horrible place. I saw this tiny ball of fluff alone in a pen. I went over to her, bent down and picked her up. She clung to me like I was the last person on Earth. My mother tried to take her from me, but it was impossible. This tiny fluff-ball had all 4 sets of claws pinned so deeply into my sweater that there was no removing her. I took my hands off her and she just clung there. I looked at the breeder and said “this is my puppy – I want her”. The breeder explained that Mitzie’s mom was quite old when she had her and that she was the only puppy in the litter. An only child – just like me! It was meant to be. This was MY baby and I wasn’t leaving without her. We got her out of that place on the double so that this poor little darling girl could start her new (and very pampered) life with us. This tiny Shih Tsu weighed about 1 pound, and probably most of that was hair. She slept on my mother’s lap the whole ride home. When we got back, I walked into the house like nothing ever happened and Mitzie was close behind. I said to my husband-at-the-time “hey – look who followed us home – I’m going to keep her”. Now, he’s not stupid and he knows that $900 puppies just don’t follow you home off the street, but he had no say in the matter. This was MY baby and I didn’t really care what he thought.
We first looked for Mitzie because her predecessor, Keisha passed away just a couple of months before at the age of 18 and I was completely devastated (I was 27). After 2 months or so, I just could not take the pain and loneliness any more. I needed a new baby to add to the family. Not to take Keisha’s place, but to bring somebody new in. We now know that Keisha found Mitzie for us from heaven. She didn’t want us to be lonely any more. She knew that Mitzie would need a family like ours to spoil her and take care of her, so she found us for each other.
Well, she turned out to be the best puppy ever. She was such a clinger and a cuddler! Just this adorable ball of fur with a flat face and big, round eyes. She brought us 9 and 1/2 years of ultimate joy.
Around her 6th birthday, we started to notice something wrong. Mitzie had a pretty bad-looking lump on the back of her neck. The vet said it was a spider bite. Well, bites don’t usually multiply, so after the second, the third, the fourth, we realized that something was wrong and took her to Angell Memorial Hospital in Boston. They are a premier animal hospital with Tufts-trained vets and a world-class facility. Nobody could figure out what was wrong with her, but her doctor had a theory. She was diagnosed with an auto-immune problem called Pemfigus. Her body was not recognizing itself and was fighting itself off. It started with her skin. She became completely bald, covered in horrible sores, became extremely sick and was intolerably itchy. She was placed on all kinds of steroids and drugs to suppress her immune system. It was brutal treatment and very aggressive therapy. Before it kicked in, we thought she was a goner – she could not even lift her head, she was bald, she shook uncontrollably, but treatments eventually started working. She was so sick, that we would have to watch her for signs of thirst so that we could bring her water dish to her and hold it up under her little face so she could drink. Thank God for my parents who took such amazing care of her. Without their help, I would have never been able to give Mitzie the proper care. I have the best parents in the world, I swear! They loved Mitzie like they conceived her themselves (probably more!)
Eventually, her fabulous white hair came back and she looked like a show-pup again. Even bald, she was so beautiful. Such a face! These perfectly round eyes looking up from a pressed-in nose. Just amazingly adorable no matter what. The other thing that made this baby beautiful and special was her personality, Mitzie had the sweetest, most trusting personality in the world. All she wanted to do was be held and walked and cuddled, so that is exactly what we did. I don’t think her feet touched the ground in all the time we had her. She would be passed back and forth, but never left to fend for herself. She was hand-fed every day of her life with us. We took her home from the breeder and she just would not eat. We tried a different thing every day, but to no avail – this tiny baby would not eat a thing. We felt bad for her and started hand-feeding her. Well, that’s the way she ate for the rest of her life – hand fed; by spoon, fork, any means, but not out of a dish on the floor. She would eat her treats off her matt every now and then, but eating off the floor was usually confusing to her – food was on forks, in hands, out of spoons, but food off the floor? She had no idea what to do with that.
After Christmas of 2007, we were told that all the meds poor little Mitzie was on was destroying her liver and her spine, so we took her off them in an attempt to save her any pain or agony. Well, she was not going to make it without the meds, and she wasn’t going to make it with the meds. We were at a loss and just kept her off the poison we were giving her and kept a watchful eye.
Last week, Mitzie started throwing up – a lot! Well, back to Angell Hospital with her. She was immediately put into ICU with all kinds of tubes and needles. We tortured our poor baby by taking her there, but we really needed her to get the best care possible, and we knew that they were the ones that could save her if anybody could. Due to her Intensive state, there were only 2 hours a day we could visit her. Back and forth into the city twice a day to see this poor little baby being tortured. She was so brave. She was a tough little girl.
Every night, Mitzie had a waiting room full of people to see her. Mitzie loved everybody and was truly loved by everybody – my little cuddle-bunny. After a couple of days, she could no longer lift her head or crawl into my lap. We would crawl into her cage to cuddle and comfort her. We spoke to her softly and patted her soft white hair. She was suffering and there was nothing I could do. I wish I could have taken the sickness and the pain for myself, but that’s just not the way things work. Mitzie’s doctor was a young compassionate vet who truly felt bad. We know he did everything he could.
Angell is a wonderful hospital with an amazing staff of doctors and nurses and a facility that would make any hospital proud. We are grateful to have them so close to where we live. He told us that Mitzie was going into kidney failure and there was no hope. There was an aggressive treatment that they could try to give her a 10% shot. Of course, I went for the aggressive therapy, trying to go with ANY hope at all for my baby. Well, the very next morning, Easter Sunday, the phone rang at 6:15 am. It was the hospital saying “Mitzie is in cardiac arrest – you better get down here”. I grabbed my fiance, drove to my parents house, picked them up and was in Boston in minutes. I ran in and they were doing CPR on her poor tiny body. I picked up her head and told her it was OK to go see Grammy. 10 seconds later, she was gone. The therapy I approved killed my baby! I killed Mitzie by going so aggressively into treatments! I fell to my knees in the most intense pain imaginable. My fiance is an amazing man. He picked me off the floor and walked me down the hall to our private waiting room. We all just sat there – stunned and destroyed. My parents were devastated. I was hysterical. My fiance comforted us the best he could while almost crying himself. We all loved her so much – it was just surreal. We wrapped Mitzie up in a towel and took her home with us. It was Easter Sunday and there was nothing we could do until the next morning. My mom took her home with her and held her until the next day. We went to visit my parents and said our goodbyes to her poor little body. The next morning we all went to the Animal Rescue League together. They will inter her body and call us on Friday to come pick her up. We all feel better about that than the usual mailing of the remains. We don’t feel that it is right to come home to your loved one’s ashes in your mailbox. The ARL is a wonderful, humane option. She will be cremated alone and given back to us.
They have a very peaceful and beautiful pet cemetery there that can be quite comforting when you are in a better frame of mind. Our family is destroyed. We are all miserable. I’ve been sedated for days, just in order to go to work. The sadness is so intense that it feels like it is eating us alive. The guilt of treating her to death is killing me. We miss her so much – our beautiful little baby who was so sick and so brave. There is a giant hole in our lives where Mitzie used to live.
We made a little shrine for her in our living room and her pictures are there until she is returned from the Rescue League. Her older sister, Keisha’s ashes are there waiting to be joined by Mitzie’s. The boxes we have for both of them are beautiful and each one is special like the baby they hold. We thank God for his mercy, not making us chose to euthanize her, but we need his further mercy. Our family is torn apart, we are so unhappy without her.
I hope someday we will start to heal from this incredible loss and that God will forgive me for doing those treatments on her. We love her and miss her so much. We did the Rosary for her soul to pass quickly so that she can be with Keisha and God and not be scared or alone. God have mercy on my soul. I hope Mitzie understands that we only tried to do the best for her and that we love and miss her terribly.
We will always love and miss you, Mitz.
| Mitzie Sasha Ling |
| Mommy, Daddy, Sissy, Uncle David |