I lost my little Chrissy on May 16, 2000, a longhair Chihuahua that was almost 14 years old. I didn’t want to get another dog, but Glen, my husband, and both my daughters wanted another one. So, we bought Buffy that following Sunday night. Buffy was a wild child and I needed a calm, quiet love to hold, so we began to look for a second puppy.
Willow came into my life on July, 2000. Even as much as I wanted her I was afraid to put my whole heart into that love. Oh, she was a beautiful Chihuahua, her daddy was a “grand champion” and she could have been one too. She was beautiful, her fawn coat, with a large white blade on her head, a white bib and little white sox’s on her feet. She was perfect but, all I wanted was another puppy to love. She was quiet, calm and laid back, she acted like an old dog in a young body. She seldom barked, barking made me nervous and when I’d pick her up she knew I needed her love. What more could anyone ask for.
Willow sat with me for months as I cried endlessly over Chrissy, she was always there for me. I pushed Buffy further and further away, I guess I resented her because she tried so hard to take Chrissy’s place and no one could do that for me. As they both grew up together, Buffy and Willow were like sisters, Buffy took care of Willow and looked out for her. Then we lost Buffy at the age of 7 and Willow went into a deep depression and she needed me as much as I needed her. We got 2 more puppies but Willow didn’t like them, she tried but she was quiet and they were so playful.
Glen and I took Willow with us on vacation and she felt so much better and she and I grew so close. If I wasn’t at home Willow wouldn’t even get out of bed or she’d lay on the floor by the door until I’d come home. We’d go for a ride on Sundays and get ice cream, Willow loved to go by-by.
Every morning I’d make a nest out of my pillows put her blanket over them and settle her in before I left for work. I’d also kiss her little apple head and tell her how much “Mama” loved her and tell her that I see her later. Willow would sleep there until I got home.
Then in October of 2009 I retired, I thought life was going to be so good. Willow and I would have years to spend together, she was only 10 years old. In April of 2010 Willow kept having her front leg would go to sleep, then one night both front feet went to sleep and she almost rolled off the bed, it scared me so I called her vet and made an appointment to bring her in and have him check her out, she had her annual check-up a couple of weeks prior.
I got up and took her to the vet the next morning, our daughters were flying to Las Vegas and I was in a rush. I took her in and was telling them how she was acting and that the vet had asked me to bring her in, they called a tech to come up and get her, while we were still talking the tech walked off with her. As soon as I got in the car and started to drive off I realized I didn’t kiss her good-by or tell her I’d be back to get her in a little while, I worried but told myself she wasn’t that sick she’d be O.K. I shouldn’t make a fool out of myself and go back just to tell her I loved her, what a mistake, they called me before I could even get part of the way home and told me she went into cardiac arrest, I started crying, I told them I be back in a few minutes, I kept saying “what happened?”
I called Glen and told him so he was starting to the vet’s office too. They called back and told me they had gotten her heart started again and not to rush, I had already been speeding and ran a couple of red lights so that was too late to tell me not to rush. I got there and they rushed me into a room and told me the vet would be right with me, they were doing a couple to tests on Willie. Then the vet came in and told me her heart had stopped again and this time he couldn’t revive her, SHE WAS GONE AGAIN! I shouldn’t have left her, my greatest fear was that Chrissy would have died and wanted us and now Willow needed me and I wasn’t there for her. How could I have left her, I loved her so much, all I wanted to do was go with her……I kept crying she was alone, the vet told me she wasn’t alone that he was with her, he was holding her and she just went limp in his hand, that she didn’t know she just slipped away…….he said he had never had one to come back like that, that she was fighting to stay with me. All said and done, I let her down when she needed me most. Glen came and we took Willow home and
had her cremated later that day.
God thank you so much for this little baby, please keep her safe and let Buffy and Chrissy keep her company until I get there to hold then again.
I'm so sorry my little bean....wait for me,
| Willow Bean |
| Bonnie |