September 15 2000 was the worst day of my life.
This was the day I lost my ” Lucky “.
This sweet baby was born in our living room while we watched in
October of 1985. He was the first one born that day which was why
I named him Lucky. I fell in love with him right away.
He was here for me no matter what. I got through a lot of hard times
because of him and his sister Dixie.
I knew I would always have someone that loved me no matter
what as long as I had them.
If I went somewhere they were always there to greet me when I returned.
Had to pat and love on them before you could do anything else when
you returned. Lucky would lay on the couch and wait for me to say :
” I’m gonna get that Luck-Luck.”
He would roll over on his side and wag his tail. We would play hide and seek.
He got all excited when my husband Noel would say :
” Where’s mommy?”
He’d come running looking all over for me.
I usually hid in the bathroom with the door open.
He soon knew where to look.
The years were so happy with him around. I remember having to leave
town for my mothers funeral and my father-in laws funeral and it just
about killed me to have to leave him here by himself.
I cried like a baby and gave him kisses like you do a child.
He knew mommy always came back.
Then came the day when I took him to the vets-September 14 2000.
I had to leave him there over night because he was dehydrated.
They did blood work and started giving him fluids.
They had one of the girls bring him out so I could see him before I left.
They knew I was pretty upset because he had been sick for three days.
Since he was 15 years old I had an awful feeling it was bad.
I cried and gave him a hug and kiss and told him mommy would be
back tomorrow to get him.
Later that night I received a call from the vets saying the blood
work came back. He said it was what he was afraid of- his kidneys were
trying to shut down. All I could do was cry.
I told him to keep giving him fluids over night and I would come down in
the morning to have him put to sleep while I was there to say good-bye
and hold and love him. I didn’t sleep much that night.
The next morning while I was getting ready to go to him I got the call–
Lucky just passed away.
It just about killed me to know that he died by himself.
I wasn’t there like I told him I would be.
I have felt guilty about it ever since that day.
I sit and wonder sometimes if maybe I could of saved him if I took him sooner.
Guess I’ll never know for sure. But I’m trying to deal with the guilt.
Thank god I have his son Rambo to help me through this.
I find myself watching Rambo like a hawk sometimes making sure he’s
breathing since he’s getting old too. Rambo is my last baby.
Maybe God will let me keep him for a little longer.
I take him out to Luckie’s grave when I go out there.
I talk to Lucky and tell him how much I miss him.
I know he’s not in any pain or sick anymore.
I thank God for that.
But one day I’ll see my baby again I know so until then I’ll love
his son as much as possible.
Good-bye my little baby.
Forgive mommy for not being there.
I’ll always love you-
Mommy
(Frances Barlitt)
| Frances Barlitt |