You were just a scrawny scrap of black spunk when
you wandered up into our yard.
Barely a month old and starving fevered and evidence of where
skin had been torn off of your leg.
You were so tiny you looked like you were “all ears”.
No sooner had I picked you up and said “we must feed you”
that your brother Charlie popped out of the bushes.
He was starving too but not sick and on deaths doorstop
like you were.
From first sight you were the most loving cat I have ever met.
Even starving as I knew you were you chose affection and
love over food. Your love was so big that I felt honored to be
in your presence.
That night while I was outside again checking on the “little miracle”
that had wandered into our lives I looked up into the night sky
and felt the magic that seemed to surround us and I knew that
your name was “Midnight Star”.
You were in so many ways.
Not only did your midnight black coat have the occasional tiny
twinkle of white that reminded me of a star you were also there,
like a guiding light reminding us that love is the one
most important thing in life.
Midi I love you.
My mind reels and my heart aches.
It was only Monday that I took you to the vet to find out you
had feline leukemia.
You had only seemed sick since Sunday morning.
Before that I thought maybe you had an upset stomach
or something.
When you had not eaten all Sunday or drank any water
and moved only to go to the box I knew something
was very wrong.
The diagnosis blew me away for a bit.
I knew there had to be something we could do.
Then yesterday I found out that your white blood cell count was
off the charts. (12,000 normal yours was 69,000).
You had cancer the kind that crowded out all the oxygen
carrying red blood cells. That was why you had no energy.
Still I was scrambling to find some treatment.
I woke up this morning to find you in pain when I tried to
give you water.
You howled with pain and yet couldn’t even lift your head
or move your foot you were so weak.
I knew that we had to let you go.
For three and a half years you honored us with your
presence and love.
I am so grateful for that but still it doesn’t seem right that
you are gone. Life can really change in a week.
Really in the blink of an eye.
I just keep thinking you can never take enough pictures.
Still you are teaching me.
I know that you will remain by my side for as long as I need you,
and that I must grieve and then let go so that I can take what you
taught me and remember to love everyone else in my life.
Charlie your brother has been a really big clown today.
He is trying to cheer me up.
It’s the strangest feeling to be crying and laughing
at the same time.
We love you Midnight Star.
Karen