10 months ago, I lost my baby Shiloh. It’s today I’m so sad. I took you for granted my time with you, that you would be here always. I took for granted you would never die. My time with you was so limited. I took for granted one day you wouldn’t be here. I never dreamed in my wildest dreams how much it would hurt me. The pain is so deep-rooted and solid. Will it ever go away? I think not. Oh people love while you can, when you can everyday, appreciate while you can for gods sake listen to me if you don’t regret will be your greatest enemy.
There’s no healing for this broken heart. I keep thinking it’s all a bad dream that I’m going to wake up and see my little boy coming down the hall with that cute little side to side wobbly walk he had with his ears flying out and I’ll hear those tiny little footsteps tapping on the linoleum again that he’s coming to the door to greet me. The reality of what’s happened is shocking like I can’t believe he’s gone for good. No amount of time will take this lonely feeling away.
As I was sitting at my computer wrestling with all the whys of everything and crying in this valley of the shadow of death God spoke to my heart and said I’m the god of the valleys,not just a god of the mountains. It took god to bring me through. I’ve never known this depth of love before. He was my only friend I ever had that loved me so unconditionally.
Shiloh, I love and miss you, my darling. Oh lord I’m so lonely. Oh lord I’m so blue. You were so special more than I knew.
Shiloh Cox 1990-2003
I'll love you forever.
| Bonnie Cox |