Author: Riley

Abbey was born into a litter of 17 puppies. She also happened to be a twin. I mean in every sense of the word. She and Ebbey were the only two that looked like each other and couldn’t bear to be separated. I got them both after begging for them. Ebbey became my mom’s dog and Abbey mine. I had her for six years and they were
the best six years of my life.

This last march I noticed Abbey getting tired out of the blue and not really being the ball of energry she always had been. I have worked in a vet clinic for so long that I knew to watch for other signs before freaking out. Sure enough, the other signs of cancer came. I took her to my boss and he confirmed my worst fear. He said it would be easier to just let her live her life without treatments. I tried to deny it. I was going through the hardest thing ever and I needed my Abbey. I was incredibly sick and pretty much homebound due to doctors orders,
so Abbey had become my best friend.

Up until her final day, she still tried to play and be happy for me. One day she was climbing up some stairs and fell..that was when I knew I had to put her down. I couldn’t do it without saying goodbye to her first. I decided to take her to the vet in the morning. That night I took her out to our field and sat and talked to her. She was only about 40lbs so she fit easily in my lap and she had her head on my leg. I just sat there watching the sunset with her like she and I had every night. I knew this one was different though and so did she. I cried and tried to tell her it would be ok, even though it was more to convince myself and not her. Walking down the hall to the back at the office seemed to take an eternity. All I could do was cry. I said my goodbyes and when they gave me her collar,I went numb.

I honestly don’t remember them handing me her collar. When I got in the car to go home I saw her collar in my hand I realized it was true. My Abbey was gone, never coming back. I have never felt so empty and lost as I had that day. I kept thinking “what will I do without her?” I needed her more than ever and she wasn’t there. I loved her. Then I realized she really loved me too.

She even her last days tried to keep me happy and played and gave me what I needed when she needed me to be there for her. I realized that putting her to sleep was the best thing for her. She taught me that sometimes you have to sacrifice for love. She did for me, by playing when she really needed to rest, because she loved me. I did for her because it wasn’t fair to keep her going in that pain.
She taught me love.

The one thing I can think of is “if you love something, let it go” is so true. As hard as it is at times, it’s because you love them. I’ll always love her.

-Her sister Ebbey later was put down. After Abbey left, she stopped eating and was never the same again. I couldn’t stand to see her so sad, so I sent her with her sister. It was better that way.
I will always love them both and miss them.
I still cry even today.