Author: Wai-Lin (Cat)
Sillee by Wai-Lin (Cat) / Second Mummy xxxxxxxxx
To My Darling beloved Sillee…(My’little boy’ )
Wai-Yee came into my bedroom this morning crying as she broke the awful news to me… I was still asleep…and I was woken from my dreams…I knew something awful had happened…but never in my wildest dreams did I guessed that you had been killed by a speeding hit and run driver….and that you would never walk through the front doors again in this life-time.
As always my baby I had tried to find you last night before I went to bed.. about 2am in the morning…I went out to the garden to look for you and as always I never sleep unless I know that you are safe at home with me.Ever since
your kidney and liver problems,I would rather you stayed indoors at night-times and played out during the day…I had a strange feeling and kept wondering where you were…by 2:30am, I decide to sleep hoping to find you by the kitchen door in the morning crying for your food as you sometimes do when you stayed out all night.
I am wondering my baby… did you die during the time I was out looking and calling for you? I will never know.Could I have done more my little boy ? could I have done more and avoided your fate? I have always hated you going out in
the front where the road is but, you always insist on going that way… sometimes, I would find you all the way down the bottom of our road…or walking towards me on the opposite side of the road… what is it about the front of the house that attracted you so much? why could you not have kept to the back of the house and the adjoining gardens? Why babe why???
It is almost 12 hours now since that awful reality and I still cannot believe that I will never hear your beautiful angelic voice again or will I ever see those handsome thoughtful eyes of yours …. The tears in my eyes have dried and they hurt from all the crying… and the pain in my heart is so raw… loosing you so suddenly without saying’Good-bye’ and in such a brutal way is such a shock to my system….Right now my darling, I do wish the same fate for that awful person who drove into you at such a high speed in a residential area and leaving you for dead in the road side…. Judging by your awful injuries… my babe, I could see the impact was just so strong and so fast that you had no chance of jumping out of the way despite your nimble ways. What can I say My ‘little boy’, what can I
say… ?!!!
What can I say…. ? I miss you my baby… my handsome boy with the voice of an angel and those big soulful eyes… I miss you… I miss your ways, your loud purr… your cuddles when I cuddle you… I miss the thoughtful way you look
into my eyes when I cuddle you in my arms or the way you purr when I change your bedding, as if to say ‘thank you’… and your many different types expressions and noises you make, I miss seeing you play your favourite blue ball… the way you charge down the stairs chasing after your favourite toy…You were so good at tackling the ball and was so fun and exciting to watch! I miss your handsome face… your charm… and your style, you carried yourself in such an elegant poise almost in a regal way and I would definitely cast you as the king in any play… and you resembled a mini panther , the colours and the pattern of your coat was just beautiful, black and grey stripes and a black stripe ran all the way from your lovely head down your back all the way to the tip of your beautiful and thick tail….. You always held yourself proud ! You glided through the trees….and you could jump effortlessly onto any surface or wooden fence regardless of the height and the amount of space.., every time I watched you in action, I
was in awe… It was almost magical watching you… I would be totally bewitched..I miss you my boy, my Sillee, my handsome boy.. in every way…..
The tears will eventually subside , and the pain will finally heal… but the love I have for you my my babe will go on and on till eternity…
But for now my little boy… let the angels and God take care of you…and keep you safe in his arms, till we meet again…Wait for me my babe, wait for me over the rainbow bridge…
‘I miss you…my boy …’
Sillee by Wai-Lin (Cat)
by Wai-Lin (Cat) / Second Mummy xxxxxxxxx
Hi Sillee, My boy… How are you? Are you adjusting to ‘life on the other side?’Have you met some new friends? Are you enjoying the food there? You can eat what ever you want now, salmon, chicken… all your favorite foods.. and fresh cream too…
It’s only been three days since I last fed you, saw your lovely face and heard your angelic voice…But, it seems like an eternity and with each passing day… I hope to find you waiting for me by the Kitchen door..crying for your food…You are always on my mind….But, I know you won’t be coming back anymore…
You have crossed over the rainbow bridge..
It’s night time now here in Leyton…10:50pm..I miss you the most at night when I expect you to be at home sleeping in your box..Lupee jumped into your box today, I think she misses you and your bullying and she is wondering why are you not here ? How you used to hide on the stairs watching me feed Lupee in the kitchen and thinking that I was giving her more tasty food than your food…I had no choice my boy, you had liver and kidney problems thus, I could only give you the food recommended by the vet….however, I did mix in some lovely tasting chicken breasts and boy,did you enjoy eating that! It was a pleasure to watch you eat and licking your mouth afterwards…
But, I never expected you to go so soon, so suddenly… You left through the front door on the 5th May…around 8pm and you never returned…The next time you came back home, you were gone…
I am comforted by the fact that it was Henry ‘your daddy’ who found you and took your body back home… and it was him who had the honor of burying you…I think you had wanted Henry to hold you for one last time before he returns to the states….I will never forget the shock of hearing the news of your tragic death.. or will I forget stroking your cold and lifeless body , your handsome face for the last time…’ I truly miss you, my boy and wish that I can have you back!’
I bet it’s always sunny and warm where you are… I miss you my boy! I really miss you and how I wish God can let me see you one more time, hold you one more time and tell you how much I will always love you…
Mum misses you a lot…she misses cleaning your dirty paw prints you always leave behind when you jump onto the bathroom sink..In your memory she planted a fushia bush on the top of your grave…Henry, WY, Sophie and Stephanie have all returned to LA now..and little Sophie asked about you yesterday morning, she wanted to say good-bye to you…I guess she will never know that I too was denied the chance of saying good bye to you ….I told her you had gone to a beautiful place where it is always sunny and that you were chasing rabbits and that you were having fun. I told her I will pass on her message to you…
The house is quiet and lonesome without you… out of me, mum and Lupee, you were the noisest and the most active one… always wanting to be let out at least 10 times a day! And when you wanted attention, you would jump straight onto my desk and sit on the key board of my computer or sit right on top of the book I was reading…If you needed your cuddles, you would cry and jump until you got your way..no matter what you got your way! I miss you, my boy..in every way..What more can I say …?
Where are you my boy…? Can you let me see you one more time… or even let me see your spirit or what ever form you want to be, can you just come back to see me one more time?
People say pets in spirit can return to their previous earth homes once they pass over…Please come home Sillee.. come home! I long to see you! If only I could just hold you once again in my arms, kiss you one more time and tell you that I will always love you ! If only I could, my boy, if only I could…..just say: Good bye…for one last time.. If only I could…
Wishing you were somehow here again
Wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seem if I just dream
Somehow you would be here
Wishing I could hear your voice again
Knowing that I never would
Dreaming of you won’t help me to do
All that you dreamed I could
Are you with Gau-Jai? Lucky? Lion? Fo Fo and Flower?
I miss you, Sillee my little boy with the voice of an angel… Do you know mummy miss you? Do you know? I love you my boy..please take my love with you….
by Wai-Lin (Cat) / I will always love you, second mummy xxxxxxxxx
Hi My Boy, My Sillee Boy:
It’s that time of the night again…I am so tired but, I just can’t sleep and I am missing you so much…I just don’t know how to ease the pain in my heart apart from crying and speaking to you in this way and hoping that you can hear my every word I am saying to you…
It’s now 12:57am in the morning…I guess I am having a hard time babe adjusting to life without you…ever since you have gone to the faraway land over the rainbow bridge.Do you know how much I miss you, my boy? Ever since your passing,I just can’t stop thinking about you..
When the formalities are done on the ‘other side’ you must tell the angels to bring you back to visit me for one last time? You owe me that my boy…You can’t just leave without saying good-bye..You know that..my boy..Could you not do that my boy ? There is still so much I need to tell you…can you not just drop by and let me say my last good-bye?
Could you….?
Could you not come by and jump onto my bed in the middle of the night just to say ‘hello’? Could you just do that my boy ? my Sillee…?
It will be Saturday tomorrow, the 10th May… only 5 days ago we were still sharing the same life..as each day passes by, I miss you more and more… there’s this ache in my heart that just won’t go away.. and at night time, it just gets worse….
Sally rang to day…We had a long talk…Talking to her has helped me a lot.As you know, she knows everything about you, she even has your pictures and she is really sad that you have passed over.Sally is going through a bit of rough patch now,please watch over her and her family…my boy and bless all of us from the Heavens above.
Lupee jumped into your box again today and slept in it. I guess she is confused and is kind of pushing her luck hoping that by sleeping in your box, you will turn up immediately and claim back your space…Oh my Sillee, I don’t think little Lupee knows what has happened to you but,she knows you are not around and haven’t been around for so long now…She is missing you too…
Do you like the picture of us on this page? It’s me holding you over the rainbow bridge hence the rainbow background and there are flowers and butterflies everywhere.. and Angels surrounding us…
I hope you like it.
Where are you Sillee ? Please come home,in what ever form you want to be in… just come home..my boy, just come home…
by Wai-Lin (Cat) / Second Mummy xxxxxxxxx
Whoa! My love, my darling,
I hunger for your touch,
Alone. Lonely time.
And time goes by, so slowly,
And time can do so much,
Are you still mine?
I need your love.
I need your love.
God speed your love to me.
Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea,
To the open arms of the sea.
Lonely rivers sigh, wait for me, wait for me,
I’ll be coming home, wait for me.
Whoa! My love, my darling,
I hunger, hunger!, for your love,
For love. Lonely time.
And time goes by, so slowly,
And time can do so much,
Are you still mine?
I need your love.
I need your love.
God speed your love to me.
Hi Sillee my boy… How are you? I bet you are catching butterflies or you are busy sunbathing in the sunny land of many rainbows… It’s that time of the night again…11:25pm… when I long to see you..I long to cuddle you in my arms…the way I use to. It’s really strange.. the longer I don’t see you, the more I find it hard to cope with the reality that you won’t be coming home any more…
You know my boy, I never had the chance to tell you that ever since Gau-Jai’s passing,I never thought I could love another little animal boy again….Gau-Jai has been gone for almost 7 years now.. and for the first 3 years I wasn’t able to love again…human or animal..honestly, I just could not cope with the pain of loosing another beloved pet again.
Then as if by fate,I met you and little Lupee… You were both lovely… but, I kept my distance..I just did not want to give my heart again….Then as time went by,bit by bit, day by day… both you and little Lup found your own way into the Garden of my heart and found a space that you both claimed and made it yours ( I didn’t even know I had any more space left to love)…Slowly, you taught me how to love again through your gentle gaze and your wise ways… and as time went by, I began to realize that I had fallen in love with both you and little Lupee… I just want to say my boy: Thank you, thank you for teaching me how to love again.
Oh my Sillee…. you were no ordinary cat.. you were like a little boy in a cat’s body…and you knew so much..you were so wise,so manly, so regal, so gentle…I miss you… I miss your little snuggles when I cuddle you..I miss your angelic voice..i miss our football sessions…I miss your gentle gaze….I totally miss you!
You know I never told you but, after I had watched the film: The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe.. I decided that you reminded me of the wise and mighty Aslan….You were my little Aslan did you know that?
WY rang today to tell us that your daddy- Henry got a job promotion and he needs to travel to China soon…Please look after them in the states and make sure all goes well for them.Tell Gau-Jai that I love him.
I know time will eventually heal…but, right now there is this emptiness that only you can fill….I do not know when I will be able to sleep normally again…I just miss you..there’s just this ache in my heart that just won’t go away….Just know that my love for you,my wise little boy goes on and on into eternity.I know you know that because I have told you so many times in the past…
‘The love you have inside, you take it with you…’
by Wai-Lin (Cat) / Second Mummy xxxxxxxxx
Hi My boy…It’s that time of the night again…10:10pm… when my heart begins to ache and tears well up in my eyes….and tonight in particular because it is exactly a week ago today that you left us and crossed over the rainbow bridge…
Do you know babe…we all miss you so much? And long to see you one more time? I just keep feeling this emptiness…and I just can’t seem to concentrate on anything..and the ache in my heart is over-bearing…
Little Lupee keeps jumping into your box and she purrs every time when she is inside your box.She misses you my boy…And as long as she is inside your box,then
she can be closer to you..Little Lups is really missing you my boy..
Wishing you were somehow here again …
Wishing you were somehow near …
Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed,
Somehow you would be here …
Wishing I could hear your voice again …
Knowing that I never would …
Dreaming of you won’t help me to do
All that you dreamed I could …
Passing bells and sculpted angels, cold and monumental,
Seem, for you, the wrong companions –
You were warm and gentle …
Too many years fighting back tears …
Why can’t the past just die …?
Wishing you were somehow here again …
Knowing we must say goodbye …
Try to forgive … teach me to live …
Give me the strength to try …
I miss you my boy… my Sillee boy…
Sillee by Wai-Lin (Cat) / I will always love you, second mummy xxxxxxxxx
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
This is for you my little boy, Sillee…when I read the words,I could see you… jumping in the fields, playing, chasing after butterflies,ears twitching, legs ready to pounce…In life you were so free and wild…You had so much zest for life! always happy! always looking out for new adventures, always purring loudly..always preferring the crowds..always friendly.. always very vocal…had your own opinions! Always children-friendly! Always a bundle of joy!Always a pleasure to be with!
It has been truly blissful having you in my life…and to have been blessed to have held you in my arms, my little boy with the voice of an angel!