BB

It has been almost two months now since we lost our BB.

She was 12 years old. We thought she was doing good.

Then she stopped eating and walked as though she was dizzy.

We took her into her regular vet on a Saturday morning and she

was diagnosed as having a bad ear infection.

She was given a shot and prescribed some tablets.

We have BB the tablets until Monday when I called my vet again and

said she was no better and still had not eaten.

The vet told me she was a “little pudge monster” and that we needed

to give the medicine time to work. By the next day Tuesday she was

no better so I took her to another vet that was recommended to me.

BB usually knew when she was at the vet because she hated the vet

and would start hyperventilating and getting all excited. On that day,

the she was limp and did not look around. The vet knew right away that

something was wrong. He took some blood did the whole routine and then

did the physical examine and noticed that the whites of her eyes were

yellow and her gums and tongue were pale. He ran a liver function and it

was horrible…off the counter. I lost it. I began crying and BB knew

something was wrong. My husband met me at the vet and he too began

weeping. We and the vet agreed to try a blood transfusion and antibiotic

treatment. We left our BB there over night as she was to have a blood

transfusion the next morning. The next morning I took in her blanket and

had to hold her. She had had the blood transfusion already and seemed to

be better. However the vet wanted to keep her there. We went to pick

up BB on Thursday morning. She was not good. The vet took more blood

and it was not good. She was not making blood on her own. The blood

transfusion was only temporary. He prepared five syringes of antibiotic

medicine and taught us how to administer the medicine. We took her home

on Thursday morning and I stayed home from work. She was not good.

I cried so much as I sat beside the bed and just looked at her.

She could not even hold her head up to fine and running and

loving her puparoni treats? I talked to her and I prayed.

Oh how I prayed. On Friday morning I went to work but I knew I

would be coming home early because I wanted to be with my BB Girl.

I came home at lunch and she was just so bad. So limp. So pale. So hot.

She was breathing hard and so thirsty. I think she knew she was not

doing good. I carried her outside and sat with her on my chest in my

rocking chair for a good hour. I came to terms with what had to be done.

I cried so much but I knew she could not go on this way. She was slowly

suffocating because she was not producing her own blood. My husband met

me at home and we agreed to go back to the vet. He ran another blood

test and the results were not good. The decision was made.

We cried so much. The vet and his staff were wonderful. So caring.

My husband and I were not really prepared to deal with this and

the vet told us he had a small meadow that he buries the animals in.

I trusted him and we agreed.

By the time we left the vet’ office we were doing okay. That night I

cried so hard. I wept and wept and the guilt became so strong. I laid

my head on her spot on the bed and just cried and tried to take in her

scent. That night I dreamed about BB. I got up and roamed the house.

I still get lonely for my Beebers. I sing a little song I made up about

her. I tell her that I miss her. I think about her every day. Now,

after reading the book “Will I See Fido In Heaven?”

I strongly believe BB is in a far better place.

She is in Heaven with God and loving every minute.

I picture her running in fields of grass. I know she is there

waiting for me. I believe I will see her again. I really do. After

reading the book I look at animals differently. They are so special.

My Persian cat Winston I believe can communicate with BB.

Winston has done things he has never done before.

Now he follows me at foot and will come into the bathroom with me

when I shower and He will sit and stare at me while I am on the

and then will jump up and sit beside me on the arm of the sofa. He never

did this before. Anyone who knows Winston knows that he is very “stand

offish” and does not come around much. Very independent. I believe that

somehow he knows what happened to BB and can communicate with her. I

believe BB has told Winston to take care of “mom” which is me and to keep

me company. Anyone who has lost a beloved pet should read “Will I See

Fido in Heaven?” It helped me so much. I still feel angry because my

original vet did not catch the real problem. He had been refilling her

Phenobarbital prescription for three years and not once did he do a liver

function test to see if the medicine for her seizures was affecting her liver.

When grandma had BB in Houston while we were overseas the vet

there did liver tests. However when we got BB back from grandma and

moved her to N.C. the vet did not do one test. He just did the yearly

testing teeth cleaning and that is it except for ear infections.

Poodles are prone to get ear infections. I still feel angry at this vet

and wrote a letter to him. I would write a letter to the state’s

licensing office but I don’t know where to start. I think maybe the

anger will subside but I will truly miss my BB Girl.

I loved her SO SO SO much. No one can know how deep I loved

that little girl of mine. She was my confidant my friend.

I miss her deeply and can’t wait until I can see her again.

Thanks for reading and I hope this helps anyone who reads it.

 

BB