I lost my beloved Betsy 2 years ago today to CRF. She survived for four months with stage 4 CRF and most likely cancer in one of her kidneys. She was only with me six short years, but in that six years she taught me to love like no other and loved me in return. I still mourn her and not a day goes by that I do not think about her. I feel that telling our story will honor her and her memory.
Betsy came into my life in 2005. She was only four weeks old when we found her. Her mom was one of my neighbors barn cats. She had a litter of six kittens but disappeared shortly after they were born. My neighbor had a job that required him to travel and was unable to care for the kittens so I took them in. They were all sick and hungry. After about a week (and several vet visits) all of them had passed on except for Betsy. I asked my neighbor is we could keep her and he said yes. For the next several weeks I did everything with Betsy that I had done with my own child. I bottle fed her every four hours, taught her to clean herself, helped her go to the bathroom, liter trained her, and eventually got her eating solid foods. It was a miracle that Betsy had survived. She to got very ill, but I was bound and determined not to let her go and she was a fighter from the very beginning.
I became her momma. She was to little to remember her cat mom and we formed a bound that I never thought I could have with an animal. She quickly became a part of the family and my second child. I loved her with all of my heart. She began to do things with me that others thought were strange. She would clean me, lay on my chest for about 20 minutes every night before bed (this was our special time), and she would suckle on my arm. She also gained a silly but wonderful personality. I had a daycare I ran in my home and her favorite thing was going into the closet where the kids kept their coats and stealing their knit gloves. She would hide them and bring them out a few days later. She would carry them in her mouth and walk around the house meowing like she had to show everyone what she had. She was a character and my daughter and I loved her dearly.
Betsy was always a healthy cat. She was full of life and very clean. In June of 2011 this all changed. She got very ill. At first, her vet and I treated the sickness with some very good antibiotics. She recovered for a couple of weeks but in July she crashed and crashed hard. She spent two nights in the hospital with IV’s and was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney failure (there are only 5 stages). Her vet took x-rays and we also discovered that one of her kidneys, which should normally be the size of a golf ball, was bigger then my fist. The vet was almost positive she had cancer in it. I did not want to put her through a biopsy as I trusted my vets diagnosis. My vet gave her a maximum of a year. I was beyond heartbroken. I felt as if they had just told me my own daughter was going to die. I decided that I would do whatever was needed to keep her with me (as long as she was not suffering) and that I would make sure that last year was the most special year ever. That year was drastically shortened. I gave her medicines, fluids, special food, and even joined a group where people who have had to deal with CRF could talk to to others who had gone through or were going through the same thing. I met a wonderful woman on this site who lived in England ( I live in the US) and we quickly became best friends. Her cat Frodo had the same disease and she became my rock through all the ups and downs.
After four months of treatments, Betsy had another hard crash at the end of October. The vet said she thought the end was near. I did not want to believe it, but in my heart I knew it was coming. Betsy was not eating and if she did she could not keep it down. She was having accidents and was not her cheerful self. She could barley keep her medicine down and I could see in her eyes that she was tired. I knew that she would continue to fight to stay with me but I could not stand to see her like that anymore (she was never actually suffering, CRF makes them feel as if they were hungover. November 6th was the day I made the decision. It was a Sunday and my vet met me in the morning at the office. It was a beautiful morning and Betsy and I watched the sun rise. Before we went I let her eat whatever she wanted. What was extra special was the night before, Betsy jumped up on the bed to lay on my chest for our special time (since she had gotten sick she did not do this as often). She laid on my chest not for the usually 20 minutes but for two hours. We both fell asleep like this. She had fought through her illness to have that one last special moment with her momma and to give me some comfort for what was going to happen the next day. I think in many ways she was trying to tell me it was ok. She understood and was ready and that no matter what she would always love me and always be with me.
The dreaded morning had approached. I hated every minute that passed by. I work part-time for Betsy’s vet and she knew how hard I had fought for her and how upsetting this was to me. She informed me that the next stage of Betsy’s illness would have been seizures and possibly a coma. The only other treatment option I had was dialysis and this would only extend her life by a few weeks. It was not the money as I would have cut off my arm for one more night with Betsy, it was the fact that she was not the type of cat who would have tolerated being hooked up to a machine for four hours a day twice a week. Her quality of life was gone and I did not want our last memories to be machines.
I brought Betsy home because I wanted her to be cremated and returned to me. I called the pet cremation place and took her there. When I got home I had a message from my friend in England. Her cat Frodo had also passed. Both of our cats had passed on the same day almost at the same time. It was almost as if God did not want either of us or our cats to go through this alone.
Betsy now sits on my favorite antique table in a beautiful urn I bought for her. She is surrounded by all her toys except for one glove she played with all the time and a few hair ties she used to play with. I had these cremated with her so she would have them at the Rainbow Bridge. I know she is still with me because there are times I can feel her near and even smell her. I talked to her every month on the 6th day and I have not missed a day in two years.
Betsy was my first pet and she was the first that I had to make that dreaded decision for. I swore I would never do it again, no more cats for me. I know have three cats. I knew Betsy would want me to help another cat in need and every cat I have is a rescue. I hold on to the fact that someday we will be reunited and never have to part again but I also know she is now healthy and having fun with Frodo at the Bridge. As for my friend in England we still talk on a weekly basis and have become closer then ever. I am hoping someday I will finally get to met her face to face. Betsy gave me six wonderful years. Our last four months together were the best, I made sure of that. I have many wonderful memories and I no longer try to think about her passing but I think about the wonderful life we had together and the wonderful friendship I gained through the sadness. I thank God everyday for the time we did have and the friendship I gained and I thank Betsy everyday for being part of my life. I love you Betsydoodles. You are my heart and the best part of my soul.
Loving you always Betsy,
| Betsy |
| Nicole |