"Blaze"
{ aka "Bookey Baby" }
December 9 1989 ----- September 9 2000
Cocker Spaniel
Blaze AKA "Bookey Baby"
Today was an extremely sad day for me.
I had the memory of my dog "Blaze". Blaze was a beautiful Cocker Spaniel
that was given to me almost 11 years ago by a friend for my birthday.
This was very strange due to the fact that I was not very fond of animals
nor did I at the time desire one. But I swear once that little creature was
placed in my arms I loved him immediately.
I was as nervous as a new parent I couldn't eat nor sleep
and if he made a noise I was up. Blaze was only 6 weeks old at the time
and as he cried out of fear I cried.
But it didn't take him long to become familiar with his environment.
That little rascal learned to get out of his playpen as quickly as I placed him in it.
He was afraid initially of the stairs but quickly conquered those too.
At this point it was just me and my dog hanging out everyday.
I didn't think anyone could become so attach and
care about something so soon but I did.
Blaze was extremely sweet; I promise you he was the sweetest dog in the world.
He would actually smile when I would tickle his stomach.
He was incredible. For a whole year my dog never barked
in fact I didn't think that he knew how. But believe it or not I taught him.
I also taught him one trick and in 11 years he never forgot it.
How proud I was of him.
I try to reflect on all the sweet memories of my dog.
Like the time when we went for rides in the car and
he would sit in the passenger sit and demand you to stroke his chest as you were driving.
I kid you not if you stopped he would began hitting you with his paw.
It was so sweet. I remember when Blaze would wait for me to return home from work.
He would wait on the window bench it was like clockwork
he somehow knew the exact time and there he would be
or the times at Christmas when he would be so excited when he received his toys.
It was as if he understood what Christmas meant.
I think about when my niece came to visit and
how he wanted her pacifier and grabbed it and ran under the bed
or the time my mom put him in the baby stroller when he refused to walk any farther.
Blaze was a little spoiled and if he got tired
he would just stop right in his tracks; and you would have to wait on him.
This was pretty funny at times.
These memories are nothing in return for the love that he gave me for all those years.
And even though I miss him greatly a lifetime would not have been enough for me.
In August of 2000 Blaze appeared to be lazy and unhappy
this was very unusual for my dog because he was always happy
the way his little bottom shook when he wagged him tag is unforgettable.
But this particular day was different Blaze
wasn't wagging his tag and immediately I knew something was wrong.
The following day I took him to the vet and
the vet immediately saw upon x-ray a mass in his stomach.
That mass turned out to be hemangiosarcoma malignant neoplasm
from that came surgery to remove the mass and then his spleen.
At the time unfortunately I was also diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis
and had lost my ability to walk. I had to go out of town to be seen by a specialist
so my husband saw Blaze through his surgery.
I remembered as I was flying back how frighten I was going to be to see him.
I thought that he would look like death and I didn't think I could bear that.
But to my amaze that little guy looked fantastic.
You would have never known that he had undergone surgery.
I remember entering the house and grabbing my dog just hugging him and crying.
For some weird reason no matter what happened I wanted Blaze
to know how much I loved him.
I continued whispering this in his ear as if he understood.
The cancer had already spread to my poor dog's liver.
I knew this did not sound good but I would have given my right arm to save his life.
At that time even though it looked bleak the vet recommended chemotherapy for Blaze.
Blaze only was able to endure two chemo treatments.
Even though initially Blaze appeared to be doing fine
as I would let him out I would notice that when he would try to
go his little hind legs would give out on him
this would break my heart and I would start crying.
No matter what I couldn't stand to see him uncomfortable.
I took Blaze back to the vet and she stated that if it wasn't a disc problem
then it was the cancer progressing. On Saturday September 9 2000
Blaze suffered a severed seizure. This was devastating for my husband to witness.
It was a blessing that I did not witness such a site
I would not have been able to make it. My husband was extremely upset
and as I came down the stairs I could see my dog as he saw me,
he wagged his tail and looked at me as to say "It's alright my time has come"
I couldn't bear to see Blaze hurt. We immediately rushed him to the vet
where she stated that the cancer had spread to his brain.
I knew he wouldn't make it and this was the hardest decision to let him go.
But as I watched my dog being put down I felt a sense of peace.
I kissed Blaze and said goodbye. I watched and held him until he was gone.
I hope Blaze realized that I love him so so much
and that this was extremely painful for me and to forgive me
if I made the wrong decision or if I made it to soon.
I had a wonderful burial for Blaze.
I want to thank my girlfriend Cynthia and her daughter Emily
for allowing me to bury Blaze in their backyard with their two dogs Mandy and Casey.
It's a wonderful feeling to know that Blaze is not alone and
that they often visit his grave and place flowers on it.
It's amazing how things work for a whole year I had my dog at home
with me due to the fact that I was unable to work.
I had his company without interruptions with the exception of when I was hospitalized.
What a blessing that was otherwise I would have been traveling with my job
and missed saying goodbye to my very best friend.
It has only been a few months and I often ask God to help me get over the pain.
I know eventually I will but for now I miss you dearly Blaze
I think about you often and what I would do to have you back.
I realize that won't happen so I have to just hold on to the sweet sweet memories.
Wherever you are
I hope to see you again what a reunion that would be.
With all my Love
Your Mommy and Daddy
Monica and Marty
| Blaze |
| Monica&Marty |