Bubba I think you know how much I loved you!
I went to get you about 5 years ago and this past Monday
you went away.
I was on my way to work and was calling for you out the front
of the house and out the back you weren’t coming.
The neighbor asked who I was calling. I explained that you hadn’t come
when I called. She said she had seen you the night before but
not that morning. I said that you were going to become
an “inside” cat once you did come home.
I went into the house and only a minute later the neighbor
rang the doorbell. She said she had found you and that it wasn’t good.
I asked her if you were dead and she said yes.
We followed her across the street to where you were laying.
I looked and hoped this wasn’t really happening.
You were so stiff and lying on your side with your arms stretched out
as if someone drug you off of the street so that you wouldn’t get hit again.
Mike buried you almost instantly we just didn’t know what to do.
We thought the first thing was to not have to see you like that anymore
and if you were in the ground we wouldn’t.
The neighbor brought out an old towel for us to carry you home in.
I miss you so much. I can’t stop crying.
I think of you when I go to sleep. I think of you when I wake up.
I think of you all of the time.
I am getting better as the days pass.
Mike fixed up your grave real nice. He put nice stones around
and made a cross out of wood.
Nanna is making you a small slat head stone that will read
Teddy T. — We love you Bubba.
You were the best cat anyone could have. You loved us so much.
I hugged and kissed you everyday as if it were your last.
I try not to feel guilty about letting you out to be free.
I sometimes think that it was my responsibility to protect you
and that I shouldn’t have let you out no matter how much you cried.
But you were free and happy when you were out.
I want you to know that you are a legend to me.
I sleep with your picture and ask God to take real good care
of you each night. I hate to think of you laying in that cold ground when
you used to sleep in our bed with us everynight.
I got rid of you favorite couch throw because it had your hair all over it
and it hurt so bad when I would look at it.
It hurts to not have you anymore. To not shooo you away when you
would walk in front of the computer screen.
To not say “Ok Bubba you be good boy Mommy be home”
every morning before I leave for work. I say it anyway.
It almost feels good to say it and to think that you can still hear me
wherever you may be.
Know I love you and I will be with you.
My heart reaches out to keep you warm and to let you
know I love you.
You be good boy Bubba! Mommy be home!
I promise!
Mommy never leave you!
Alison
| Alison |