I lost my beloved Bingo Bernice Springfeet on Friday, April 30, 2004. I don’t remember when I’ve felt that much pain. I came home to my house and just cried and cried. I hated to go to sleep. Nothing seemed right. I thought that with time the terrible hurt would go away. It’s been almost 12 weeks, and I still feel like someone has torn out my heart. I knew I would never love another dog. I said I would never love another dog.
I held out for about four weeks. I stayed away from my family because I didn’t want to have to talk about Bingo. When someone at work offered a kind word, I’d have to stop them in mid-sentence so that
I didn’t burst into tear.
Four weeks after Bingo lost her battle with cancer, I visited my brother. His grandson was there, and so was a strange, tiny dog. I called him and he came running. He sat between my feet and I knew I was in deep trouble. This dog had pulled at my heart strings. My nephew said that maybe getting a very small dog was not wise because he had a two year old daughter. I heard myself saying that I’d take the dog if he decided to give him up.
The short story is that I now love another dog. Don’t get me wrong. I still miss my Bingo girl. I still cry almost every night because I can’t touch her one more time, can’t play with her once again. However, I’ve found that I have plenty of love to give a new little man in my life. I believe Bingo sent Fritz to me. Bingo knew that I had enough love to remember and love her forever and still give a good home to a new little guy.
Fritz is dachshund/chihuahua. He is darling. He’s 8.8 pounds and looks just like a dachsie except for his eyes and ears. His ears kind of stand out to the side when he’s paying close attention. When he sleeps, one ear sticks straight up. He is so sweet. Fritzie will never replace Bingo. That isn’t the reason he’s here. Bingo made a place in my heart that only she can occupy. Fritz is building his own space.
As long as I live I want to have a little sweetheart to share life with me. I want the unconditional love that only one of our little babies can give. No matter what I wear, how I have my hair, how I feel…
they love me completely.
I learn from my pets.
I learn how to love.
I learn how to be patient.
I learn how to be a better person.
Bingo taught me many things. I lived with Bingo for over 12 years, and we lived together very well. I knew what she would do even before she did it. She knew exactly what to expect from me.
There was a time when Bingo could jump very high. In the end, I’d pick her up and put her in bed because she could no longer make the jump. She aged with dignity, and she faced her cancer with courage. I promised Bingo and myself that I would not keep her going beyond the point where she became uncomfortable.
I could see her change. She had loved to sleep on her back. The tumor was on her throat, and eventually, she could no longer lay on her back. She began to snore loudly. She got sick to her stomach, and choked several times. She’d always had play time between 7:00 PM and 7:30 PM. She had stopped doing that for a couple of days.
I wish I could have provided her with more. I wish I could have made it possible for her to stay with me. I just know that God needed a very special little angel for His Rainbow Bridge, so He called Bingo to Him.
When the time comes that Fritz has to cross Rainbow Bridge, he’ll be welcomed by Bingo, Scruff, Beau, John, Smokey, Molly, Dutchess, Flash, Sinbad, Oso, and my other little fur and feather babies.
Bingo, play hard, my little girl. Run, jump and have a blast. Play with your toys, and enjoy your friends. Sleep on your back once again. Jump just as high as you want. Remember that I love you and will forever.
When it’s my time to cross the bridge, I’ll be looking for you, sweet baby girl. I know you’ll find me! I can just see you streaking across the fields to come and welcome me with a big kiss.
You are always on my mind.
| Charlotte Hayes |