The story of my heart….
She literally picked us out in May of 98. Not the dog that was shot in the head my husband insisted the entire drive to Safe Haven Rott Rescue. *Ok*, I said with fingers crossed. See this is the dog that grabbed my heart while looking at their website.
When she came and sat on his feet, looked up at him and pawed him for loves, I knew his goose was cooked. He looked into my eyes, that big tough man who did not want *another dog* and said, *This is the one* He was right, she was the one. The one for me.
She just became the center of my life so quickly. How does this happen to us? Is it gradual? Is it like a lightning strike? I honestly do not know. I just know she was the baby, like my Kandee is now. If you asked her, where is the baby? she would crawl into your lap. She has dried my tears with her fur, made me laugh with her *talking back*, given me so much joy and love that I should be full up for eternity. But I am not. There will never be a day that goes by that I will not miss her – my Shaye Grrrr.
Garrick was never her favorite thing. But she protected him and loved him because he was mine. She never had to take a backseat to him, she never had to wonder if mommy loved her anymore now that this little human was here. Many a night I would feed Garrick in the wee hours of the morning and go looking for Shaye. Just curl up next to the one being who did not want anything from me that minute. Just let her warm fur and unconditional love soak into my tired new mommy soul. She was my refuge in those hard months of caring for that demanding new addition to our home.
So she is at the bridge now, and we go on. No more warm velvet ears to rub on cold winter days, no more trying to get her off the covers so I can get in bed, no more fur on my pillow when I get in bed, no more kissing her wrinkly forehead and nose, no more laying a blanket down to make sure she is comfortable outside, in front of the fireplace up north. No more Shaye Grrrrr for me to love and spoil and fuss over. No more Shaye but now I have Kandee Kisses – thank the Lord and Joyce MacDonald.
I watch videos of Shaye and Kandee is SO much like Shaye that is comforting, especially when I am really missing my Tink. But Shaye was still Shaye, my Tinky Grrrrr, special and unique and totally mine.
I love you Tink, You are mommies angel girl, my baby. You are my bright shining light and I love you more than is probably good for me. I miss you now and I will miss you every day for the rest of my life. Be a good girl baby and remember, mommy loves you and always will.
Shaye Shaye mommy loves you Tinky girl. If too much is never enough baby girl, then consider yourself loved never enough.
Fly high with bright silver wings Tink,
| Jackie Carlson |