Priscilla you meant the world to me.
I loved you so much and I tried to take good care of you.
I am so sorry if I gave up on you too soon. I certainly did not want to do it.
I only wanted you to stop feeling bad.
I looked at your little body and saw how much weight you had lost.
I saw how weak you were and how hard you tried to overcome the
disease because I begged you to do it for me.
Then I started thinking how selfish I was asking you to stay longer
just so I would not hurt. You depended on me and I had to be strong for you
and do the right thing. I thought you might get better for awhile but at what price.
Would you have to suffer more would the good days make up for the
bad ones could I watch you lose more weight and become weaker?
I did not know what to do. I thought to myself I have to do what is loving,
I have to think of Priscilla and not myself. I wanted so much to keep you.
I wanted to run with you in my arms away from the doctor but I made
myself stay. I told myself I was doing it for you.
Please forgive me if I gave up too soon please forgive me if it was
not your time and you wanted to stay longer.
I thought you were trying so hard because I had begged you to stay with me.
I was afraid that I had asked too much of you.
You are my cocker angel my little girl my friend and my companion.
You were such a large part of my world and now you are gone.
I hurt so much for you. I miss you so much and I do not know how I will go
on without you being a part of my life.
If only I would have done something different you might be here today
loving on me instead of tears rolling down my cheeks.
I am sorry if I failed you.
Please forgive me and know that I loved you more than
anything and I miss you so much.
Mommy
(Pattie)
| Pattie |