It has been a week to the day that I lost my Butch. I let him out with his adopted brothers Murphy and Shamus and we found Butch floating in our pond. The fence we had around the pond was always closed but today it wasn’t. Why? why? Butch was 15yrs. old and blind at night but this was 8 a.m. on 11-20-04. We don’t know what happened to my baby. The guilt that I wasn’t there is just killing me inside. I miss him so much. He sat on my lap and followed me everywhere.
Why wasn’t I there for him?
I was told that if he drowned he would have sank to the bottom but he was floating. A paramedic friend told me but he is just saying that to make me feel good? Nothing will make me feel good. I miss his brown eyes looking up at me silently asking me to pick him up. How do I get past this? I just don’t know. I know he is with my Cupcake and Sylvester and my Dad but I want him with me. My mom tells me that God knew you couldn’t have put him to sleep so he took him for you.
My kids miss him. Having two other dogs have helped some but the guilt, the guilt, How can I get past this God? I loved that little dog as much has my own child and there is a hole in my heart
that will never heal.
God needed another little dog angel. Please be at peace my sweet baby, mommy loves you and misses you so very much. Please forgive me for not being there for you if you needed me.
I pray you had a heart attack and went fast before hitting the water. I am waiting for the vets to call me and let me know my baby is ready to pick up, I just want him home with me. I love you baby.
Let eternal light shine upon you,
| Sue and Phil Giannosa & Kids |