Clementina Luise Pushkin by Ellen Dlott / Ellen and Bill

I thought I finished a rather lengthy and accurate tribute to you, my beloved Tina/Br’er Puppy/Mr. Nasty, etc. It didn’t manage to go through the right channels or something. Maybe I neglected something as I sit here thinking of you with grief…or maybe you disapproved and managed to put a wrench in it? It would be just like you,
my willful little puppycat.

It would be fitting…just like you always used to contrive to stand on the remote control and screw up the viewing when you wanted Bill’s attention. He always gave it to you. So did I. So I’ll submit this again. You’re worth any number of efforts.

The more I think about it, the more I believe that you picked your time. You were facing a minimum of two unpleasant operations which might have been life-prolonging, but hobbling. You would have hated clumping about in an Elizabethan collar, aching and unable to play and fight and eat as you pleased. At 13, you still moved and behaved in many ways like a puppy.

The attendant exclaimed to you, “You don’t look 13 at all! You must be living a spoiled life!” Well, maybe you were spoiled. So what. It was worth it. I’m glad your last meal was the barbecued chicken you loved so much. And I’m glad my last sight of you, after the antibiotics and fluids revived you, was vintage Tina: ears up, eyes curious and roving, cooperation fraying because you had huge suspicion of all those folks in white coats. Generally, you had suspicion of everything and everyone except your family.

I’m glad I didn’t have to see you shrink under the burden of illness and repeated operations and convolescence. We would have gladly helped you through it in every way – but you would have hated and resented it. That’s why I think you chose to go your own way just hours before
showtime in the operating room.

Tyrone and Marshall miss you. They enlivened your last year. You were a major part of their lives.

And you took from Bill and me a major part of our hearts.

 

We will love and remember you forever.