Johnboy was the love of my life. When all the other girls in school were planning their weddings and picking their kids names, I was planning my apartment and the black cat I’d have. I got the apartment, and the first thing I did was start looking for my black cat. It was hard to find at the time. There was in fact, only one black kitten in the area.
He was mine from the moment I saw him. He was 10 weeks old and so tiny. I brought him home with me and tried to get him settled in. The first day I had to go back to work, I left him on my bed. He was still there when I got home. His food was untouched, he hadn’t used the litter box. He was too tiny to get off the bed! After that, I left him
on the floor when I left.
He settled in right away. He’d sleep under the covers with me in the winter, and in the windowsill when it was sunny. He would meet me at the door when I came home at night, we’d play, he’d sleep on my lap anytime I sat down. He’d lie in the window and watch the birds, he’d jump up on the bathroom cabinet and use my back as his way back down. He gave me so much joy. I hated to be away from him.
When I went away on vacation, I couldn’t fully enjoy myself because I missed him so much. Even leaving him at the vet for a couple of hours was hard. I hated him not being at home. He was so much fun to be with. He’d make me smile, he’d make me laugh. I talked to him all the time. He was with me through so much, good times, bad times, stress, hardship…everything. He would jump in my lap as soon as I sat down. He’d crawl in front of my book when I’d read, he lie on my stomach for a nap when I was lying down, he needed to know what I was doing all the time, especially if I wasn’t giving him 100% of my attention.
He had very few medical problems through the first 15 years of his life.
Then, in mid 2002, he was diagnosed as hyperthyroid. He was then on medications for the rest of his life. He needed enemas sometimes to help him out. He started losing his hearing, and his eyesight. He was still my loving baby though, we’d cuddle, he’d come to the door when I got home, not as quickly as he once had, but he still did.
In late June 2005, he suffered a stroke. I came home from work one night and he couldn’t walk, I took him to the vet and was surprised to hear that he could recover completely within a few weeks. Strong fellow he was, he was almost normal again the next morning…..he amazed me. I called him my bionic cat. I was so unsure whether bringing him home then was the right thing, but he proved to me it was. He ended up
having a pretty good summer.
He was much slower, his eyesight was almost completely gone, he was deaf, but he loved to be touched by me, I’d pet him and brush him….he loved to be brushed. He never really liked anyone else.
Then, September 14, 2005, while home on vacation, I heard a crash. I went to check on him, I found he couldn’t walk. I knew he’d had another stroke. I called the vet and while we were talking, things were OK. In about 5 minutes, things got worse. He started crying like he was in pain. I called the vet back and said I was bringing him in. When I picked him up to go to the car, he had a seizure, and had more on the way. I held him and talked to him, trying to comfort him.
When the vet checked him over, I knew there was nothing that was going to make him better. There were options, but they involved more medication, and more pain. He’d suffered too much already. I couldn’t bear the thought of him suffering for one more second. He’d been so sweet and loving for 18 years. I knew the day I’d been dreading for years had come, but I knew it was the only thing I could do for him. The only way I could let him know how much I loved him, was to make
sure his pain ended.
Bonnie-his vet, and I stayed with him through the shots, while his strong little heart slowed down and then stopped. I had some time to say good-bye on my own. It was so hard. He was the love of my life. I had no idea it could hurt so much. How one little cat could fill so much space
in my life and my heart.
I know that wherever he is now, he’s not on medication, he’s not going to have any more enemas, he can see, and hear, he can play and he’s without pain. I know in time that will give me solace, but right now all I have is pain. My heart is shattered.
I love you. I miss you.
| Johnboy |
| Louise |