Please read this, I know it’s long,
but I want the whole world to know about my baby girl.
From the day I first saw you I knew you were my pet-it was meant to be, we belonged together. You were born in Smith Street-my last name, it couldn’t be plainer. I remember when I first saw you, so small and scruffy, the unhealthiest looking of the lot, but I was drawn to you.
10 dollars wasn’t much, but I wouldn’t have sold you for all the money in the world. You were the tamest bird I knew-I didn’t hand raise you but you were so much tamer than any hand raised bird the world will ever know,
so trusting and loving.
You were always sick, problem after problem, but you always seemed so happy-and you always came back. Every vet trip seemed to fix each problem, and you where happy again,
till the next one came.
People where amazed at you, the way you cared about me-you wouldn’t let another soul touch you, but with me it was different. You learn to never fly away from me, even with your wings not clipped, you treated me as your mate,
your best friend.
You even shunned away other birds! It was me you wanted to be with, and I wanted to be with you. I remember all those wonderful times we had together, the way you cuddled next to me so calmly, the way
you loved
to have your head scratched.
I took you everywhere, school, shops, friend houses-you lived in my room and got mad when ever
I left to go somewhere without you.
Everyone loved you, anyone who saw you knew you were special, even though you would never allow them to handle you, you were one of a kind, and I loved you more than
anything in the world.
You were there for me when no one else was, you helped me when no one else would, we didn’t need words,
just each other.
I remember when I noticed you were sick again, I was worried, but not too worried, after all, you were a part of my life-I couldn’t see life without you.
We took you to the vets, and it didn’t look good, you didn’t look good. But still it didn’t get through to me, we’d been to the vet many times before, and
this would be fixed, like always.
I remember when I was getting the heat box ready for you, you crawled over to me and snuggled against me-I didn’t realise you where saying goodbye. I picked you up to hug you and give you a scratch, and you began to flop, I screamed for mum to take you to the vets quickly-but it was too late,
you were gone.
You died in my arms, the way you wanted to-
you died loved and cared for.
I screamed for hours for you to come back, demanding it over and over, hugging your lifeless body to my chest with the hope that you would wake up, and
ask for another scratch.
Leo, I love you will all my heart, all my soul and my mind. A part of me is empty, torn, half my heart is missing-that as the piece you used to fill.
I still wake up and go to give you your scratch, but your not there. I go to open the blinds so you can have sunlight for the day-but the cage is empty, I go to the pet shop to buy your seed, but there
is no one to eat it.
I went to bird world-and their was another cockatiel that looked just like you, I tried it ignore it, but then it stepped onto my hand and snuggled against me like you used to-it even moved its head the same way when I scratched it. It brought tears to my eyes, but no one understood, no one can understand. Leo that was the moment I realised, that no matter how much this bird looked like you, no matter how much I tried to convince myself it was you-there never would be another you. It broke my heart, but I realised that you were gone forever at that moment,
and I broke down.
Mum offered to buy the bird-but as much as I wanted to fill that empty space, it could never be filled. That bird wasn’t you and it never would be-I didn’t buy it, I don’t think I’ll ever own another hand raised cockatiel again, just thinking about
it hurts so much.
Leo, no one understands, they think you were just a bird, some pet-they think I’m being stupid, but you were so much more, and I want the whole world to know how much you meant to me.
Leo, I love you, and will always miss you.
Rest in peace, my feathered friend.
Love Erin Smith
God hold her tight, and guide her on her way, God keep her safe and help to ease the pain.
Welcome her to your safe and loving land.
Reach out to her with your warm guiding hand.
Tell her that I love her,
And I miss her oh so much.
Tell her I’d do anything,
To give her just one more hug.
Tell her if she wants,
She always welcome back.
I’d love to see her fly again,
Feel her perch upon my hand.
Tell her how I miss her,
How I want to hold her tight.
Tell her how much I love her,
Especially tonight,
Tell her why I cry, and feel so alone.
Tell her I why I feel so empty,
Sad and on my own.
Look after her,
Make sure she’d not afraid.
Tell her this is part of life,
Deaths just another stage.
Make sure you watch over her,
Make sure you keep her safe.
Make sure she knows she loved.
Make sure she feels no pain
And ask her to watch over me.
I need her help to get through each day
Tell her how I cried,
How I held her in my arms,
How I begged for her to stay awake,
To somehow hang on,
Tell her how I screamed,
And yelled for her to come back,
Clinging to her limp body,
So cold and so still,
Refusing to let her go,
Refusing gods own will
But let her know,
How much joy she gave me for five whole years,
How much fun we had together,
I’ll remember that before the heart break and tears
So guide her with your caring hands to the better land,
Carry her through the golden sunlight,
Across your majestic plains,
Love and look after her,
Tell her how special she is,
Make sure she’s safe and happy,
But don’t forget one small thing,
Tell Leo, that one day we’ll meet again,
Tell her that when my day comes,
We’ll meet in the holy land,
Together forever,
Two eternal friends.
©copyright Erin Smith
I love you baby girl,
| Leo |
| 25, Feb 2005 |
| Erin Smith |