"Polo" February 16 1998 ----- September 2 1999
Cocker Spaniel
Polo "got" us three weeks before his death
to bring joy and companionship into our lives
and in the end he aided
in the therapy of Jenn who suffers from depression.
A week after his arrival he began to suffer
from aggression and bit Jenn's roommate.
Then he bit other members of the "family."
Jenn contacted behaviorists and vets and Polo moved
in with Mark to make training easier
and because Jenn's roommate would understandably
no longer live with the dog.
Without the roommate
Jenn would be in financial trouble
so Polo moved two hours north to live with Mark.
Mark's apartment complex can't have dogs
so we had to "smuggle" him in and out
from joyous walks and potty breaks.
We were under the impression that this was very temporary.
The amount of love that Polo had to offer
was astounding but sometimes
and it seemed out of his own control
he would growl and bite.
What seemed to be a simple "alpha-complex"
suddenly seemed to be more.
Doggie valium was suggested along with dog rescue
and many other means of no-kill solutions.
No one would take Polo
into a loving and educated home or rescue.
Where before experts were eager
to suggest euthanasia now after six bites
they were reluctant.
He still had not been neutered
and we had become increasingly afraid
that his exposure to strangers and children
would lead him to bite someone outside the "family."
Our fear and the realization that neutering him
would probably not put an end to the aggression
forced us to make a decision for which we were not prepared.
Should Polo be euthanized?
Later that day the owner of the complex came by
with a letter asking us to remove the dog
from the premises as soon as possible.
After explaining our situation
they said he could stay a few days
until a solution was met.
We made an appointment with a veterinarian for 8:30.
We took Polo for his last walk into the
woods and cried our good-byes.
When we returned
the vet called and refused to assist
saying he was too young
at 18 months.
The next day we distributed posters
and sent email to Mark's company
in hopes that someone would take the dog
even though he bites.
There were no takers.
At 12:30 that afternoon
the Humane Society in cooperation
with the State Animal Control officer
finally agreed (after much deliberation) that our home
though Polo had bitten recently
was considered isolated enough to ensure rabies
was not a factor and the euthanasia was in their eyes legal
though still in our eyes immoral.
Polo was put to sleep around 1:00 p.m.
and we set out to buy scrap books
from which to build our memories of Polo.
That was earlier today.
Even though we only had him for a short time
he filled such a void.
The loss is physically painful
and a candle burns in the window
while tears are shed by us both for the little godsend
that managed to renew Jenn's faith in life
and Mark's empty and lonely apartment
in his new town far from home and family.
It's difficult to say whether another puppy is in the future.
Not now anyway.
It's also difficult to explain to a computer
what such a bundle of joy
can come to mean in such a short time.
We found that our society lacks
so many of the resources necessary
for dog owners such as ourselves.
Our minds consider the thousands of "should have's"
but we pray that soon all this shall pass
and we shall have the beautiful and hopeful memories
that Polo had to offer.
Perhaps things would have been different had he stayed a while longer.
I want to call his name
just to prove to myself that he won't come.
I want to keep his toys out with his food and water
just in case he does.
I can't sleep until he's been out for a walk.
What's worse is that I never got to say good-bye.
While I was paying the bill
he was already out of my hands and gone
and I can't remember
my last words or last eye contact with my Polo.
I couldn't hold his hand to say it would be okay
just to go to sleep and I'd see him soon
where the problems we faced on earth would be gone.
Little seems of reassurance but knowing I'm lucky enough
to have shared Polo's love with someone
as wonderful as Mark and that this time
I don't grieve alone.
Polo left me in good hands.
Polo:
We miss you and love you and are sorry.
We apologize for the world we live in
and the decisions
we made and know that little "rudder" of yours
will greet us
at the gates of heaven.
All our love until we meet on the rainbow bridge,
Mark and Jenn
| Polo |
| Mark & Jenn |