To My Darling beloved Sillee…(My’little boy’ )
Wai-Yee came into my bedroom this morning crying as she broke the awful news to me… I was still asleep…and I was woken from my dreams…I knew something awful had happened…but never in my wildest dreams did I guessed that you had been killed by a speeding hit and run driver….and that you would never walk through the front doors again in this life-time.
As always my baby I had tried to find you last night before I went to bed.. about 2am in the morning…I went out to the garden to look for you and as always I never sleep unless I know that you are safe at home with me.Ever since
your kidney and liver problems,I would rather you stayed indoors at night-times and played out during the day…I had a strange feeling and kept wondering where you were…by 2:30am, I decide to sleep hoping to find you by the kitchen door in the morning crying for your food as you sometimes do when you stayed out all night.
I am wondering my baby… did you die during the time I was out looking and calling for you? I will never know.Could I have done more my little boy ? could I have done more and avoided your fate? I have always hated you going out in
the front where the road is but, you always insist on going that way… sometimes, I would find you all the way down the bottom of our road…or walking towards me on the opposite side of the road… what is it about the front of the house that attracted you so much? why could you not have kept to the back of the house and the adjoining gardens? Why babe why???
It is almost 12 hours now since that awful reality and I still cannot believe that I will never hear your beautiful angelic voice again or will I ever see those handsome thoughtful eyes of yours …. The tears in my eyes have dried and they hurt from all the crying… and the pain in my heart is so raw… loosing you so suddenly without saying’Good-bye’ and in such a brutal way is such a shock to my system….Right now my darling, I do wish the same fate for that awful person who drove into you at such a high speed in a residential area and leaving you for dead in the road side…. Judging by your awful injuries… my babe, I could see the impact was just so strong and so fast that you had no chance of jumping out of the way despite your nimble ways. What can I say My ‘little boy’, what can I
say… ?!!!
What can I say…. ? I miss you my baby… my handsome boy with the voice of an angel and those big soulful eyes… I miss you… I miss your ways, your loud purr… your cuddles when I cuddle you… I miss the thoughtful way you look
into my eyes when I cuddle you in my arms or the way you purr when I change your bedding, as if to say ‘thank you’… and your many different types expressions and noises you make, I miss seeing you play your favourite blue ball… the way you charge down the stairs chasing after your favourite toy…You were so good at tackling the ball and was so fun and exciting to watch! I miss your handsome face… your charm… and your style, you carried yourself in such an elegant poise almost in a regal way and I would definitely cast you as the king in any play… and you resembled a mini panther , the colours and the pattern of your coat was just beautiful, black and grey stripes and a black stripe ran all the way from your lovely head down your back all the way to the tip of your beautiful and thick tail….. You always held yourself proud ! You glided through the trees….and you could jump effortlessly onto any surface or wooden fence regardless of the height and the amount of space.., every time I watched you in action, I
was in awe… It was almost magical watching you… I would be totally bewitched..I miss you my boy, my Sillee, my handsome boy.. in every way…..
The tears will eventually subside , and the pain will finally heal… but the love I have for you my my babe will go on and on till eternity…
But for now my little boy… let the angels and God take care of you…and keep you safe in his arms, till we meet again…Wait for me my babe, wait for me over the rainbow bridge…
‘I miss you…my boy …’
Good-bye for now my baby...' I love you..'
| Sillee |
| 6, May 2008 |
| Wai-Lin (Cat) |