Sparky by Sandra and Paul Phillips / Mama

We buried you this frozen January morning. Daddy chose the perfect spot, under a giant cedar tree, just outside the kitchen window. Together we dug the place where you now lay. We wrapped you in my red flannel night shirt, and your “uncle” carried you out, and gently placed you in the soft earth, along with your ‘tuggy’, your ‘fuzzy’, your favorite bone and a small picture of me . . the Mama that you loved so well. In the wee small hours of your last night on the earth, I laid with you close to me, your favorite place to be, and whispered to you in our private little language. True to your loving nature, you had a ‘waggy tail’ until the last beat of your heart. Then you slipped quietly away.

Sparky, I am forever changed by your presence in my life. You were an extraordinary boy, who taught me not to take one day of love for granted. You taught me that I could help other people to be happy, by being happy myself. You taught me to communicate without words. You taught me that devotion is the most important thing when you love someone. You taught me that a cherished son doesn’t necessarily have to be the human kind.

I can’t make sense of anything now, and I can think of nothing but you. I regret every minute that I ever spent away from you. Every day that I’m on the earth without you, I want to remember your squishy face, your ‘waggy’, ‘smiley’ tail, your silky ears, your searching eyes, the way you said ‘Mama’ with your low voice and floppy lips. You were the happiest being I have ever known. You feared nothing. You were kind and gentle, patient and tolerant. You loved everyone, and just figured everyone loved you back . . and they did. And you loved me like no one ever has. You were an example of everything I would like to be. I am so blessed to have had you in my life. If only I had just one more one more day, even one more minute, to hold you . . how I will get through this day, this week, my life without you . .
so much a part of me.

As you play with old and new friends, and wait for me, keep your eye on Rainbow Bridge for that moment that I cross . . because I promise I’ll be there . . to be with you forever.

 

Until that day my sweet boy,