I just got back from England 2 days ago after the completion of my degree. I still remembered hugging my boyfriend and telling him that I am so happy to go back to see my little Sumo. I’ve been waiting for 5 months, everyday kissing his pictures on my mobile phone and touching his furs on my laptop wallpaper. Even on the flight home, I was tempted to show the man sitting next to me my baby’s picture and tell him that I am going home to see my baby.
On the car ride home my dad told me he got some very bad news… Sumo’s dead. I remembered I cried so loudly even though I didn’t exactly understand what he meant and thought that somehow it was just a cruel joke. I love him so much and I’ve been waiting for him everyday. How is it possible that my baby boy… just 3 years old.. in perfect health, the liveliest of our 7 dogs, the one who always has a smile on his face is dead. So very young. 5 months of waiting and I can’t even touch him anymore. I was hysterical. He’s been dead for nearly 3 months. I can’t do anything and it is so heartbreaking.
I cry everytime I wake up because I couldn’t believe it’s true. I hate waking up because no matter how hard I pray he will not come to me in my dreams and I will have to face a world without him from now on. I love him the most and I ask god why him. We were so much in love
Sumo, I love you. I’m so sorry I went away. There are so many places that I still want to take you to…I planned to come home and take you to your favorite restaurant. I planned to come home to take you swimming again, to put pretty ribbons on your hair… and I just got you a new collar. You know I asked my boyfriend if he thinks that you miss me as much as I miss you everyday… and he said he thinks so.
Now I find out the hardest way that you miss me even more than I miss you. I loved you too much that you can’t live if it wasn’t with me. Why did you stop eating my baby. Why. I love you so much honey… I never love anyone this much before. You’ll always be in my heart. You’ll always be remembered as the most happy. Always. I promise. Please don’t forget me.
We all love you so very much. Thank you for everything. Please be happy as you’ve always been in life. Always be happy, my love.
Always,
| Sumo |
| 10, July 2006 |
| Kim |