Sweetie

My heart is broken once again. I just lost my Sweetie.
His is a long story…
Back in August of 2012 I found a cat eating stale bread at my bird feeder. I knew bread wasn’t good for him so I started feeding him. He would play mannequin and would never eat with me there. If I was looking at him he’d freeze. As soon as I’d walk away he’d eat. I loved Sweetie.. even if it was on his terms!
I didnt know if he was feral or a stray, all I knew was he was in my yard and I would take care of him. He wouldn’t let me touch him or get close to him. As the weather started to turn we knew he needed him to have a shelter from the rain and future cold. We researched and bought him an insulated shelter called a Kitty Tube. It was placed in a corner of my patio right below my bathroom window. The first time it rained I watched and held my breath as he approached it. I was so excited when he went inside! I knew he was out of the rain safe and dry! That was the fall of Superstorm Sandy & he was safe from the storm! As the weather got colder we bought him a heated mat that was specifically made for his house. I was happy knowing he was safe and warm, but it killed me that he was alone.
We had several snowstorms and my husband would dig out a trench for Sweetie so he could get to his food and into his house.
Sweetie was a small cat with a notch in his ear. I actually thought he was a she because she never came home pregnant.
January 14, 2017 my husband went out to feed Sweetie, but he didn’t come out of his house. That was very odd because usually as soon as the sliding doors to the back yard opened Sweetie would bolt from his house.
We took a flashlight and shined it inside. Sweetie was hurt, his shoulder was torn. We managed to get him into a carrier and brought him to the emergency vet. It was then we found out that Sweetie was indeed an intact male. It may sound odd but I never was able to get close enough to see for myself!
In order to examine him he needed to be sedated. The vet was wonderful. Sweetie was tested for FIV and Leukemia. He was negative. They treated his wounds and neutered him for me as well.
We brought Sweetie home and set him up in a makeshift hospital room (a large dog crate with a litterbox and a soft comfy bed) in our garage. He had a heater a “Happy Light” (mimics natural sunlight) and I would play nature sounds for him during the day. At night we would clean his litterbox, change his water and food and cover his crate with a blanket. We had other cats and there was no place inside for him.
His recuperation was up and down. There were a few return visits for treatment to the emergency vet. One night in particular a week after a visit for sub-q fluids because he was dehydrated we went to “tuck him in” for the night. He had not eaten in a few days. The vet also gave his a steroid shot with the fluids and said he should start eating in a few days. We checked on him before we went to bed and he hadn’t eaten a bite, he looked so sad and defeated. I didn’t know if it was because he was trapped and not running free.. or because he was hurt and giving up. I was so upset and crying ..it was almost 1 am. We talked about taking him to the emergency vet and having it all end… We decided to wait till the morning. If he was no better we would go then.
The next morning I waited for my husband to check on Sweetie. I couldn’t look myself! My husband brought me Sweetie’s empty bowl!! We crossed a hurdle that night! From there he got stronger and was healing nicely. It was a relief for me when we had snowstorm after snowstorm knowing he was SAFE! The spring came and it was time so set him free. We opened his cage and left it open. I checked a little while later and he was gone… my heart was so sad.. It was bittersweet.
Sweetie was gone for 9 days! I didn’t think he would ever come home. I was about to give up hope and there he was!
Everything was good for a little while. Then one day when I few Sweetie he took a bite and took off like the devil himself was in pursuit! It took a few days but Sweetie once again retreated into his Kitty Tube. We were able
to trap him inside and get him to our vet. Again this was no easy task. Sweetie was sedated and examined. It was determined that he had an autoimmune disorder called stomatitis. The good news was it’s treatable! The bad news it’s chronic. There will be flareups. When I saw a flareup was happening I’d call the vet and Sweetie would be prescribed antibiotics and oral steroids. Thankfully I could easily spike his food. I would buy a food that Sweetie liked I’d emulsify and warm it to make it more palatable.
As the time passed I would try to get closer to Sweetie. We got to the point where he would eat with me near him.. as long as I didn’t get too close.
I would sit outside and talk quietly to him while he ate.
Late summer 2020 I was sitting outside with him and as he walked by he brushed up against my leg! Was this an accident?! Or did he mean it??
I spent more and more time outside with him and was finally able to pet him as he was passing/ rubbing up against my leg. As soon as he realized there was a person attached to the hand that was petting him he’d lash out! It was ok! I was making progress.
Then in December I noticed Sweetie had a bald spot on his side and was not eating again. it was not easy but I trapped him in his house and got him to my vet. We were still dealing with the pandemic and restrictions. My vet took him, sedated him and examined him. All while I was in my car. He called and told me Sweetie had “end stage stomatitis” his mouth was the worse that he’s ever seen. The only way to cure him was a full mouth extraction! OMG!!
He was given steroids and antibiotics to help him until we could get the surgery.
It was at that moment that I knew Sweetie would never again see the light of day unless through a window!
My daughter got married and her room was now a guest room. Sweetie was the guest. We set him up in a crate with all the comforts of home until he had the surgery.
His surgery was scheduled for the last week in February 2021. The meds kicked in and he was eating… until he stopped. There was no way he would make it till February.
Like I said we were still dealing with covid restrictions the vet was wonderful and rearranged his schedule to do Sweetie’s surgery on 1/28!
His recovery was not easy, but he recovered!
I played music for him and nature sounds too.
When he was ready we opened the door to the crate and gave him run of the room. It became Sweetie’s room. Eventually we opened the door to give him access to the house. He chose to stay in his room. He’d sleep on the bed but hide under it when I’d walk in. I’d lie on the floor and talk to him… he’d slowly blink at me and I’d sing to him. There were a few times when he’d fall asleep while I’d sing.
I started giving him treats and coaxing him out from under the bed. Still I couldn’t touch him. I moved to a different part of the room and he’d actually come and lie right next to me! I was able to touch him a little bit. But even then he would get me with his nails. I never got mad. I loved him!
He developed mats and I had to get them out. I bought a brush and slowly.. taking several days was able to get them out. He actually enjoyed being brushed. One night while brushing him I decided to see if I could pet him. The song “To Make You Feel My Love” by Garth Brooks was on. As I placed my hand on him he responded by pushing into my hand!! If you know the lyrics to that song you will understand…I was sobbing!! I would spend time petting him and singing to him and loving him!
It took a while longer but Sweetie finally ventured downstairs into the living room. He started to sit with me.. on my lap and wanted to be as close to me as was possible! I was so happy!! Finally I was he knew what love was!! We spent many hours together.
Sweetie was losing weight and drinking a lot. I brought him to the vet. This time was easy. He was so used to being touched! All I had to do was place him in the carrier. They ran a senior blood panel and he was NOW diagnosed with Chronic Kidney Disease. The vet said it was early and could be controlled with diet. We bought Sweetie several different kinds of food until we found one he liked.
It was a challenge to keep him on track. We had good days and bad days. Two weeks ago it was very hard to get him to eat. The very gave us a transdermal medicine. it is actually an antidepressant with the side effect of increased appetite. I was mixing his food with tuna juice, or sardines. He was eating!! Sunday we had a wonderful day!! He ate a full can and I didn’t even have to add anything. He was happy, purring, meowing, active and all around good! I was so happy.
Since he has been staying downstairs for most of the day as soon as I’d sit on the couch he would be on top of me! Even before I was fully seated. I would cover us with a blanket and I would tell him how much I love him and how I needed him to eat and be ok so he could stay with me! He would purr and look at me with such love in his eyes. I’d sing to him. George Straight’s
I Cross My Heart was the song that really hit home! When I’d stop petting him he’d reach out with his paw and gently tap me as if saying “don’t stop.”
I spent hours and hours hold him, petting him, telling him how happy I was that he is inside and in my arms. I was his world.
Yesterday he didn’t eat much and I attributed it to having bad day.
This morning he was very lethargic… he didn’t even make an attempt to eat. I sat down and he didn’t even try to sit with me. He got sick and threw up a small amount of bile. Later he threw up a few more times but OM,y white foam. My heart was breaking holding him as he wretched. We were able to get an appointment for 2:00.
I held him in my arms and promised him I wouldn’t let him suffer! I cried and cried and cried! I lost my Maxx 17 weeks ago to the day. I STILL cry for him.
We bought to the vet and after discussing our options. I knew I had to let him go. I couldn’t prolong his suffering. Even if there was something that might help him for a few days. It would happen again. I promised him that I wouldn’t let him suffer.
My husband and I always say Sweetie was a special,cat who had a lot more than 9 lives!! He had at least 20!
I am so happy that I got to show him what love really is. And that he loved me too.
I miss him so much!!!