My heart is breaking. My baby boy of almost nine years had to be euthanized on the 8.12.11. He had been sick for many weeks and just wasn’t getting any better. He had always up until recently been a healthy, happy, active cat. But out of the blue he started showing signs of illness – lethargy, lack of appetite, weight loss, etc. After taking him to the vets test results showed that he had a massive infection somewhere in his body. They couldn’t pinpoint exactly where the infection was.
They kept him at the surgery for two days and gave him antibiotics (his second lot) and monitored his situation. He didn’t get better. I brought him home and hoped for the best. He became even thinner and developed large sores on his back. He barely ate so I resorted to giving him pureed baby food (chicken with veges, etc). I also had to give him water as he wasn’t drinking enough. I also noticed that his left eye was red and the pupil was cloudy (wasn’t due to cataracts). Basically the infection/illness was ravaging his body. I loved him so much that I kept hoping and praying that he would get well. I just didn’t want to think about having him put to sleep. He was the love of my life and letting him go was unbearable.
Then a few nights ago he let out a wail, it was awful, he must have been in pain. I knew what I had to do and it broke my heart. I told him all day that I loved him. I kissed him and cuddled him and watched over him. I cried. The next day I called the vets and made an appointment that I never wanted to make. I took my baby to the vets and after much agonizing and crying I made the decision. I still don’t know if I did the right thing. I have been crying, soul searching and questioning my decision for the last four days. I miss him so much that it feels like my spirit is slowly dying. I feel like crawling into a corner and never coming out again. The pain is almost unbearable. Every morning I get out of bed and remember that he is gone.
I miss him so much. I have been sleeping a lot more than usual (or just laying down) on my bed thinking about him. I can’t believe he is gone. I can’t believe I let him go. But he was so sick and so weak. Seeing him lose so much weight was horrible. I had ALWAYS made sure that he had plenty of food to eat, no matter what. And he always had a big appetite. He was so beautiful. A big, fluffy B&W cat. He had such a beautiful nature too. He was gentle and tolerant and mellow. He was my baby and I will NEVER forget him. I love you baby boy and miss you xxx.
I love you baby boy xxx.
| Tommy |
| Tracy |