Bowser by Janell Kosmala / Mom

Bowser,

I vividly remember that day you came to me. They brought you over and simply said, “He’s yours!”. I was confused because I knew my parents would never let me have a dog. I questioned my uncle and thought that he meant he was keeping you and I could visit when I went over there. But they insisted that you were mine. I finally understood and I took you into my arms and a wonderful friendship began.

I’ll never be able to explain to anyone how important you were to me. I talked to you when there was nowhere else to turn. With you around, I was never alone. You were a bit of a rascal at times, always getting in the garbage and having something against Jeff. I never did understand why you hated him so much… But I fought to keep you and you always stayed loyal to me. You were my best buddy and even though times were rough, I never lost hope because you were there.

I remember the walks we took at school and all the trips to Stoney. I loved your little hop run that you did when you saw me. Your ears were so sute when they’d flip up and down. You were so attached to me. Every time I’d leave, you cry until I got back. It didn’t make the neighbors too happy, and I’m sorry I left you those times.

I thought you’d always be around. I never expected you to get sick or that I would need to make a decision like the one I made that day. But I couldn’t let you suffer any longer. I had watched you decline for almost a week. Dawn took care of you so well in the hospital. But there was no improvement. I wanted you to get better like you had done the first time this happened. But, you were dizzy and disoriented and I couldn’t bear to hear your mournful cry. You just layed on your side, hardly even knowing that I was there. You were so depressed those last few days. Even when I took you home and held you close, you cried. The neurologist finally helped me see that I could do no more to help you. He said to enjoy our time together. I took you home, fed you treats and cried, knowing the time was coming soon. I held you tight as the injection was given. I told you I loved you. You went peacefully in my arms. I could never have left you alone. You had been so faithful to me all those years.

I miss you so much. I miss holding you. I miss hearing you bark. I miss seeing you waiting for me to come home. I miss cooking for you. You always had so many lumps and bumps, and I even miss touching those :(. There’s such a void without you here. That little wooden box with your ashes is all I have left now and it seems so inadequate.

Bowsie, I think of you all the time. I miss you, my little friend. I would have done anything for you.
I know you’re waiting for me somewhere.
Little pawprints in heaven.
I love you so much.

 

Love,