Jessie was my dog for eleven wonderful happy years. But she was more than a dog to me though she cared about me and now she is dead. She died of cancer it is in my other diary my hand written one. Anyway she was perfect she never bite, always was happy, light eater, didn’t shed, and never ran away. In other words she was the perfect dog no dog could match her.
She was friendly to everyone and every person that met her loved her. And I couldn’t blame them. She was like the only thing that seemed to care for me even when I screwed up or did something mean to her. I remember this one time I tried to ignore her. But her she just waddle on over there and wait for me to pet her.
On July 31, 2001, I slept with her for the last time and held her while she was in pain. That whole night I stayed up while she cried. Before I went to bed Mom was holding her and she wasn’t crying maybe if I had just left her there she might have been okay. But no I took her selfishly away.
That night I couldn’t get my hamsters to stop that unbearable scratching. So I stayed up for two or three hours trying to get them to stop. Then all night she cried. And I didn’t know why… So Mom came in and gave her pill to quiet her. Jessie being so loving let me sleep for an hour or two. Then I gave her a bath hoping it would help soothe her.
I remember her limping over there and drinking the warm bath water. And I wrapped her in a towel and we sat out on the lawn chair basking in the sun. Then Dad yelled at me and said, “She is a dog she doesn’t need a blanket!” So I then took her to Mom and she kept crawling back to me. Mom only half awake said, “She wants you not me.” I picked her up and sat with her for a while and then laid her on the living room floor. Dad said there might be a chance she won’t live through today. I didn’t believe him I whispered to Jessie “your going to come through this with flying colors.”
Mom called the clinic and loaded her in the car as we said our good byes and she said she would call. We didn’t know what was wrong with her so she had tests done and Mom said she would call back but she never did. So I called her. She said they were doing bloodwork. I remember right after Mom pulled out I went and found a picture of her and place it in my Eeyore frame. And dad came in to comfort me but he didn’t help one stinkin bit.
Then I remember when Mom came home I had been clutching Jessie’s collar and thinking how it had all started how she was walking and that Mom had just stepped on an ant pile. They were scattered about and she walked on them and they all climbed on her. So I quickly brought her in the pool for our house was getting repiped. And got all that I could get off her and shoved her and hurt her so…Then I gave her a bath and brushed her and she got a lot of ant bites and was treated for them. Then she kept in pain so she got pills. Then she kept crying
so she got an X-ray.
I remember the veterinarian saying, “she has a perfect bone structure.” As I looked at it I said to Mom, “At least we’ll know she’ll live long.” Nothing could help her, I couldn’t do anything. I’ve never felt so heartbroken in my life. Then I remember seeing her. She was under something not even aware we were present; I remember Mom holding her she cried. Then I remember holding her she stopped crying, at first I thought she knew it was me. But then I thought maybe she had died in my very arms. But no, the twins were crying, even though
they had no clue what was going on.
I picture the moment when she suddenly got up and wagged her tail; I wished then I could have taken her home and she would have been okay. I begged to stay with her. I wanted to make sure she had gone in peace. As my Mom says okay she then wants to have Jessie cremated. They ask if I wanted her ashes, I said no. I wish I had said yes. I remember hearing her crying in the back. She came back with a pink cast wrapped around her leg. And was placed on Dad’s lap. I watched them put two shots in her. She peed and I saw her head fall.
Almost out of tears I cried.
The nurse hugged me, but I couldn’t help thinking if you had only noticed the signs. Jessie got the things she liked before she passed away. Her last steak bone, cheese, slept on a German pillow, always petted, and loved more than imaginable. So I have to say good-bye to her one day or another. And except that she’ll never be able to come home to us. That everyone says, “I have the best dog in the world.” But I can’t help but think the best dog is dead
and everyone is fighting for her title.
Jessie Quinn
June 3, 1990 – July 30, 2001
With more love than one can express,
| Jessie |
| Katrina |