I inherited my darling Pudding from a neighbour who went to work abroad. Pudding had always come to visit when her owner was out. She didn’t have a cat flap and somehow knew that I would give her love until she could go home. When it came time I was thrilled to take her as mine.
She was always the most affectionate and beautiful girl. Whenever I was home she just wanted to be with me. She was my solace through SO many difficult times, a constant source of love and hope. I looked at her and all seemed well in what can be a hellish world to live in.
About this time last year she developed cancer in her jaw. What a terrible time that was seeing her suffering. The vet told me that they could operate and remove the affected part of her jaw in the hope that the cancer could be removed and that they would find, after tests, that all of the cancer had gone and she could go on for some years. There was of course a chance that the type of cancer she had would mean that it would re-occur quite soon and the prognosis would then not be good. There was a risk, but it was a risk worth taking. I anguished over my decision for long painful days and finally went through with the procedure hoping, hoping, hoping.
She was SO brave and went through what must have been hideous pain for days as she battled with the healing process and trying to eat with a third of her mouth missing. Poor, poor baby. I had to administer her drugs which added more anguish to her dimise. There seemed to be light as she learned to cope but a month later the cancer re-appeared. She stopped eating and was so unhappy. I loved & cared for her with everything I had but try as I might it just didn’t work. I just couldn’t take her pain away. I had to make the decision that anyone who has ever loved anything or anyone dreads.
People told me it was the most caring thing I could do for her. I knew it had to be done, I could watch her suffer no longer, I had to give her some peace. But oh, the pain of her loss was excruciating and still is.
I am now in the place where I yearn for another baby to nurture and love knowing of course, that no other puss will ever take her place. I fear that to love and lose again will be horrific but that there are so many out there that need some love and a good home that they may never have had. So as I teeter on the brink of decision I felt the need to share my story with like minded people in the hope that it may confirm what I yearn to do is the right thing to do in the knowledge that
Pudding will forever be my special baby.
Ever in my heart,
| Pudding |
| Lesley |