I found you by pure chance that cold crisp morning on
10th of January 2001.
Standing regal and proud tethered in a pen at the horse sale.
You stood out from all the other horses with you refined looks and air
of fine breeding 16.3 hands of equine power in a
liver chestnut coat.
Although not looking for a horse at the time I hadn’t had a horse of
my own for 20 years my mind started to explore the possibilities
and the seed was sown.
I sat expectantly and on edge when you proudly walked into the sale ring.
Looking every inch the aristocrat I`m not going to afford this one,
I thought perhaps just as well.
The bidding started it happened there were just two of us in the running,
myself and the local horse slaughterers.
I couldn’t believe it when the hammer fell and you were mine.
I thought what have I done but the excitement soon pushed that
thought aside and I went about the business of paying for you
buying tack and organizing transport.
I soon found you were not always the gentle giant you first appeared
to be and your size and strength were sometimes a bit too exiting when
you decided to play up.
But I lived with your little quirks and fears and felt like I had come
home at last as I rode through the country lanes on
those frosty mornings.
Your appointment with the farrier did not go smoothly
he noticed you didn’t like your off hind foot shod he said you may
have an old injury looking back that was the first sign of what
was to come but at the time it seemed nothing
to worry about.
The foot and mouth epidemic then struck in February and the
countryside became under siege you had to stay in a muddy field
for months before the situation eased much time we could have
enjoyed was lost the world stood still and the rain fell.
When late summer finally came life for us both improved a little and
riding resumed your summer coat came and you looked magnificent
you were admired by many.
The warm sun on your back eased any aches and you got the
chance to gallop freely and jump fences again.
The short summer passed and grey winter crept closer then one
day when the farrier came he could not shoe your hind hooves
you were in pain and that off hind which had always worn its iron
shoe to paper thin would not leave the ground at all.
Several attempts were made on repeat visits but it was no use.
You started to limp and the pain was getting worse;
our days of long carefree rides were over all to soon.
I knew the only option was to end your pain and in this realization
my pain began intense and strong as an iron spike in my heart.
There was nothing I could do but I searched in vain for an alternative.
I booked you in at the slaughterhouse It was an admission of defeat
the death warrant of my closest friend.
In my mind I walked with you every hour to that place
seeing every step of the way there and every step of the way
back with your redundant head collar.
I did that journey by day and I did it by night.
When the 2nd of November came I did it for real and
the pain was no easier for my previous imaginings.
I have never known such pain and loneliness and feeling of guilt
I had murdered my friend.
Nigel