Smokey by Cynthia / Mama

My “little bear” Smokey. All you wanted out of life was a warm lap to sleep on, or warm sunlight to bathe in.

You and your brother, Elvis, are my first ‘children’. I can’t believe that after 10 1/2 years of being in my life, now you are gone. I thought that your body would cooperate and give you a few more good years in your new home, but that was not to be. I always thought that when it was time for you to go, it would be a slow and gradual process allowing me time to accept it. I never thought I’d wake up one morning and you’d be very sick, and by the evening be gone. It all happened so fast.

For your sake, I am so happy that you did not have to suffer. I had to make the excruciating choice for you, because I knew you could not make it for yourself. There was no hope that you would ever completely return to the life of comfort and health that you knew. It would have been a stressful, uncomfortable life I knew you would not want. Just before I let you go, we had a moment where I looked deep into your eyes. I knew by the look of them that you were not the same anymore. I didn’t feel that you gave me ‘permission’, but rather that you were just tired and sad. The doctor said it would take a minute for you to go, but you were gone within seconds. Your body just could not hold out any longer. This is when I knew I did the right thing.

Your spirit will be with me every moment. Your brother Elvis misses you very much…he keeps looking to the door to see if you are coming in the room. He loved you so much and was always protective of you. I will take good care of him until the time he can be with you again. I will miss the comfort you gave me each night, when you’d settle into my lap. On stressful days I would look forward to our cuddle time together. You always were so in tune with my moods, offering me comfort when I needed it and space when I needed some. We had an unspoken bond, my special Smokey-bear. I am so glad that you were able to completely trust me. Even when I had to scold you, you always came back around. You knew I loved you and I tried to give you the best and longest life I could.

I will think of you every day. I know you are in heaven now where your body is healthy and whole. You don’t feel any pain or stress, just contentment. I want you to run and play, and find a warm patch of sun to nap in. I will see you again some day. Until then, sleep well my little bear.