by Dolly / ODALYS VALLADARES 2005

A FEW WEEKS FROM THE ANNIVERSARY DEATH
OF MY BIG GIRL RANDY PANDA.
HAD HER FOR 13 YEARS AND 9 MONTHS.
HALF LAB, HALF CHOW, AS EVIDENCED BY HER ALMOST BLACK TONGUE AND NOSE, AND WHEN SHE GOT OLDER, HER AGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR. SOME PEOPLE SAID, YOU FEED YOUR DOGS TOO MUCH, THEY WILL DIE YOUNG, THEY ARE TOO FAT, YOU ARE A BAD MOM.
OH WELL, WHAT DID THEY KNOW ANYWAY, MY GIRL WAS 70LBS WHEN SHE DIED OF RENAL FAILURE AND EVEN THOUGH I FELT GUILTY ABOUT THE TIMES I LEFT HER AT HOME WITHOUT ME, I NEVER FELT LIKE SHE WENT HUNGRY OR THRISTY AND GOD KNOWS, HOW MUCH I LOVED HER.

SHE BROUGHT SO MUCH LOVE INTO MY LIFE. THE WAY SHE SLEPT OUTSIDE WITH ME THE TIME WE VISITED SOUTH PADRE AND DIDNT ARRIVE TILL REALLY LATE AND DIDNT WANT TO WAKE ANYONE UP, SO WE SLEPT ON THE OUTSIDE DECK, OR THE TIME SHE TOOK A TRIP WITH US TO SOUTH CAROLINA AND WHILE WE SLEPT IN THE TRUCK, SHE MADE SURE WE KNEW IF ANYONE WAS APPROACHING THE TRUCK, SHE WAS ALWAYS AWARE.
SHE LOVED THE BEACH, HER RUNNING BACK AND FORTH, BITING AT THE WAVES AS THEY FELL ON THE SHORE, THE LOOK SHE HAD WHEN SHE SWAM, MY SEA OTTER, I USED TO CALL HER.

HOW I LOVED MY GIRL. SHE WOULD COME TO MY SIDE OF THE BED AND SAY,”HEY TIME TO GET UP, I NEED TO GO OUTSIDE”. MY DEFINITION OF LOVE HAD FOUR LEGS, A BLACK NOSE AND TONGUE, AND THE SWEETEST SMILE YOU EVER SAW ON A DOG, AND FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE, NOTHING WILL FILL THE HOLE IN MY HEART LEFT THERE THE DAY HER SOUL WENT TO A PLACE WHERE I HOPE MINE WILL ONE DAY BE TOO.