by Nikki / Nikki Lassila

I keep forgetting you’re gone.
I still listen for your footprints in the hallway,
I still listen for the sounds of your breathing as you slept.
I constantly glance in the place where you always were when I was home alone, with only you for company.

It seems like it’s never going to hit me completely.
I still find bits of your hair in places from where you shed.
I still expect to see you at the top of the stairs when I get home, wagging your tail because you’re so happy to see me.

And then nothing happens.
Half asleep, I can’t hear you grunting as you run in your dreams.
I can’t hear your footprints outside my door.
And I know that I’ll never again come home to see you smiling at me.
I’ll never again run my fingers through your fur,
Or feel you nudge my hand so that I’ll pet you.
I’ll never again be able to open the door and let you out into the yard
to use the bathroom.

But what I miss the most about you, Bear,
Is what a joy you were to everyone.
Everybody who met you told me what a great dog you were.
You loved everyone regardless of who they were.
No matter how much people scolded you,
You still loved them.

And no matter what, you’ll never be forgotten.

Especially not by your family.

——

In Memory of Bear, who fell down stairs to his death on July 2, 2006.

He never made it to see the fireworks that he loved so much.