Light A Candle in Loving Memories

My heart is broken once again. I just lost my Sweetie.
His is a long story…
Back in August of 2012 I found a cat eating stale bread at my bird feeder. I knew bread wasn’t good for him so I started feeding him. He would play mannequin and would never eat with me there. If I was looking at him he’d freeze. As soon as I’d walk away he’d eat. I loved Sweetie.. even if it was on his terms!
I didnt know if he was feral or a stray, all I knew was he was in my yard and I would take care of him. He wouldn’t let me touch him or get close to him. As the weather started to turn we knew he needed him to have a shelter from the rain and future cold. We researched and bought him an insulated shelter called a Kitty Tube. It was placed in a corner of my patio right below my bathroom window. The first time it rained I watched and held my breath as he approached it. I was so excited when he went inside! I knew he was out of the rain safe and dry! That was the fall of Superstorm Sandy & he was safe from the storm! As the weather got colder we bought him a heated mat that was specifically made for his house. I was happy knowing he was safe and warm, but it killed me that he was alone.
We had several snowstorms and my husband would dig out a trench for Sweetie so he could get to his food and into his house.
Sweetie was a small cat with a notch in his ear. I actually thought he was a she because she never came home pregnant.
January 14, 2017 my husband went out to feed Sweetie, but he didn’t come out of his house. That was very odd because usually as soon as the sliding doors to the back yard opened Sweetie would bolt from his house.
We took a flashlight and shined it inside. Sweetie was hurt, his shoulder was torn. We managed to get him into a carrier and brought him to the emergency vet. It was then we found out that Sweetie was indeed an intact male. It may sound odd but I never was able to get close enough to see for myself!
In order to examine him he needed to be sedated. The vet was wonderful. Sweetie was tested for FIV and Leukemia. He was negative. They treated his wounds and neutered him for me as well.
We brought Sweetie home and set him up in a makeshift hospital room (a large dog crate with a litterbox and a soft comfy bed) in our garage. He had a heater a “Happy Light” (mimics natural sunlight) and I would play nature sounds for him during the day. At night we would clean his litterbox, change his water and food and cover his crate with a blanket. We had other cats and there was no place inside for him.
His recuperation was up and down. There were a few return visits for treatment to the emergency vet. One night in particular a week after a visit for sub-q fluids because he was dehydrated we went to “tuck him in” for the night. He had not eaten in a few days. The vet also gave his a steroid shot with the fluids and said he should start eating in a few days. We checked on him before we went to bed and he hadn’t eaten a bite, he looked so sad and defeated. I didn’t know if it was because he was trapped and not running free.. or because he was hurt and giving up. I was so upset and crying ..it was almost 1 am. We talked about taking him to the emergency vet and having it all end… We decided to wait till the morning. If he was no better we would go then.
The next morning I waited for my husband to check on Sweetie. I couldn’t look myself! My husband brought me Sweetie’s empty bowl!! We crossed a hurdle that night! From there he got stronger and was healing nicely. It was a relief for me when we had snowstorm after snowstorm knowing he was SAFE! The spring came and it was time so set him free. We opened his cage and left it open. I checked a little while later and he was gone… my heart was so sad.. It was bittersweet.
Sweetie was gone for 9 days! I didn’t think he would ever come home. I was about to give up hope and there he was!
Everything was good for a little while. Then one day when I few Sweetie he took a bite and took off like the devil himself was in pursuit! It took a few days but Sweetie once again retreated into his Kitty Tube. We were able
to trap him inside and get him to our vet. Again this was no easy task. Sweetie was sedated and examined. It was determined that he had an autoimmune disorder called stomatitis. The good news was it’s treatable! The bad news it’s chronic. There will be flareups. When I saw a flareup was happening I’d call the vet and Sweetie would be prescribed antibiotics and oral steroids. Thankfully I could easily spike his food. I would buy a food that Sweetie liked I’d emulsify and warm it to make it more palatable.
As the time passed I would try to get closer to Sweetie. We got to the point where he would eat with me near him.. as long as I didn’t get too close.
I would sit outside and talk quietly to him while he ate.
Late summer 2020 I was sitting outside with him and as he walked by he brushed up against my leg! Was this an accident?! Or did he mean it??
I spent more and more time outside with him and was finally able to pet him as he was passing/ rubbing up against my leg. As soon as he realized there was a person attached to the hand that was petting him he’d lash out! It was ok! I was making progress.
Then in December I noticed Sweetie had a bald spot on his side and was not eating again. it was not easy but I trapped him in his house and got him to my vet. We were still dealing with the pandemic and restrictions. My vet took him, sedated him and examined him. All while I was in my car. He called and told me Sweetie had “end stage stomatitis” his mouth was the worse that he’s ever seen. The only way to cure him was a full mouth extraction! OMG!!
He was given steroids and antibiotics to help him until we could get the surgery.
It was at that moment that I knew Sweetie would never again see the light of day unless through a window!
My daughter got married and her room was now a guest room. Sweetie was the guest. We set him up in a crate with all the comforts of home until he had the surgery.
His surgery was scheduled for the last week in February 2021. The meds kicked in and he was eating… until he stopped. There was no way he would make it till February.
Like I said we were still dealing with covid restrictions the vet was wonderful and rearranged his schedule to do Sweetie’s surgery on 1/28!
His recovery was not easy, but he recovered!
I played music for him and nature sounds too.
When he was ready we opened the door to the crate and gave him run of the room. It became Sweetie’s room. Eventually we opened the door to give him access to the house. He chose to stay in his room. He’d sleep on the bed but hide under it when I’d walk in. I’d lie on the floor and talk to him… he’d slowly blink at me and I’d sing to him. There were a few times when he’d fall asleep while I’d sing.
I started giving him treats and coaxing him out from under the bed. Still I couldn’t touch him. I moved to a different part of the room and he’d actually come and lie right next to me! I was able to touch him a little bit. But even then he would get me with his nails. I never got mad. I loved him!
He developed mats and I had to get them out. I bought a brush and slowly.. taking several days was able to get them out. He actually enjoyed being brushed. One night while brushing him I decided to see if I could pet him. The song “To Make You Feel My Love” by Garth Brooks was on. As I placed my hand on him he responded by pushing into my hand!! If you know the lyrics to that song you will understand…I was sobbing!! I would spend time petting him and singing to him and loving him!
It took a while longer but Sweetie finally ventured downstairs into the living room. He started to sit with me.. on my lap and wanted to be as close to me as was possible! I was so happy!! Finally I was he knew what love was!! We spent many hours together.
Sweetie was losing weight and drinking a lot. I brought him to the vet. This time was easy. He was so used to being touched! All I had to do was place him in the carrier. They ran a senior blood panel and he was NOW diagnosed with Chronic Kidney Disease. The vet said it was early and could be controlled with diet. We bought Sweetie several different kinds of food until we found one he liked.
It was a challenge to keep him on track. We had good days and bad days. Two weeks ago it was very hard to get him to eat. The very gave us a transdermal medicine. it is actually an antidepressant with the side effect of increased appetite. I was mixing his food with tuna juice, or sardines. He was eating!! Sunday we had a wonderful day!! He ate a full can and I didn’t even have to add anything. He was happy, purring, meowing, active and all around good! I was so happy.
Since he has been staying downstairs for most of the day as soon as I’d sit on the couch he would be on top of me! Even before I was fully seated. I would cover us with a blanket and I would tell him how much I love him and how I needed him to eat and be ok so he could stay with me! He would purr and look at me with such love in his eyes. I’d sing to him. George Straight’s
I Cross My Heart was the song that really hit home! When I’d stop petting him he’d reach out with his paw and gently tap me as if saying “don’t stop.”
I spent hours and hours hold him, petting him, telling him how happy I was that he is inside and in my arms. I was his world.
Yesterday he didn’t eat much and I attributed it to having bad day.
This morning he was very lethargic… he didn’t even make an attempt to eat. I sat down and he didn’t even try to sit with me. He got sick and threw up a small amount of bile. Later he threw up a few more times but OM,y white foam. My heart was breaking holding him as he wretched. We were able to get an appointment for 2:00.
I held him in my arms and promised him I wouldn’t let him suffer! I cried and cried and cried! I lost my Maxx 17 weeks ago to the day. I STILL cry for him.
We bought to the vet and after discussing our options. I knew I had to let him go. I couldn’t prolong his suffering. Even if there was something that might help him for a few days. It would happen again. I promised him that I wouldn’t let him suffer.
My husband and I always say Sweetie was a special,cat who had a lot more than 9 lives!! He had at least 20!
I am so happy that I got to show him what love really is. And that he loved me too.
I miss him so much!!!

On June 6, 2010 a few weeks after losing my beloved cat Pepper, we decided to adopt a kitten to fill the void in our home. Our other cat Muffin was very lonely, and would walk the halls at night, crying looking for Pepper. I had just lost my father a few weeks earlier and couldn’t bear to hear Muffin’s mournful  crying while she looked for Pepper.

Pepper was all black with a few white markings. On the way to North Shore  Animal League there was one thing I did not want … that was another black cat!
God and Maxx had other plans.

When we walked into North Shore, there was a cage with a little black kitten, with a white spot on his neck, sitting in his litter box, taking in the sights of the people passing by. I approached his cage and he came to me and rubbed his little head and chin on my hand. There was no turning back! A little while later we were on our way home with Maxx.
Maxx had some pretty big paw prints to fill. He was a force to be reckoned with as soon as he was free from his carrier he owned this house, and everyone in it.

Maxx was a very smart cat that would play fetch with elastic hair ties. He would even initiate the games by bringing the hair tie to me, dropping it at my feet and meowing until I would snap it away. He would run for it and bring it back dropping it at my feet waiting for me to do it again.
We have a Kong treat container that is shaped like an hour glass that is a little smaller at the top. Maxx knew enough when there were treats in the container to knock it over and roll it so the treats would come out! None of our other cats could ever figure it out! Maxx was so smart that he would actually pick it up in his mouth and carry it to us, dropping it at our feet and meowing repeatedly until we would fill it. Which, of course we always did.

Over  the years, Maxx  proved how special he really was. He would always bring me presents and leave them by my bedside, mostly his little catnip filled mice and birds. But he would gift me any small stuffed animals he could carry.
There was a part of Maxxthat was so unreal. I can’t even explain it.  My younger daughter had a collection of beanie babies that she no longer displayed. They were in a bin in our basement. The first anniversary of my father’s death I was quite surprised when I found the angel beanie baby on the floor by my bed, brought to me by Maxx.

There  were several of the times when he brought items that blew my mind away. On the anniversary of the death of Princess Diana, he brought me the Princess Diana beanie baby, on the anniversary of 911 and the death of Osama bin Laden. He left the two patriotic beanie babies by my bedside. Lastly on the day the New York Met Gary, Carter passed away. He brought me a little New York Mets bear from my other daughter’s room!
I can’t explain any of this at all! Only that he was so very special!

Maxx slept with us every single night between our pillows since the day he was brought home.  When we when I would get up, he would follow me wherever I went and we come right back to bed with me and curl up in my arms purring loudly under the blankets.

The worst he ever had was a cold! Last December he didn’t look right I picked him up and put him in my bed between my pillows, and he just laid there! I nudged him he didn’t even move. I picked him up and he was just limp. I actually thought he was gone! We brought him to the emergency vet, thinking that he ingested something that he shouldn’t have. They ran tests, but everything was negative. Thank God! We were sent home and told to watch him. Maxx was back to himself in a few days.

I would often tell Maxx the story of how we adopted him, and how God gave us some extra time, because I really thought that he was going to be gone that December night. Little did I know my time was running out.
Last Friday night we went to bed Maxx was curled up  between the pillows. I stuck my hand under his head like I always did. He tried to get comfortable and kept getting up and turning around he let out a soft, low growl. It made me nervous, but I thought it was an isolated incident. A few minutes later, he did it again and again I called my husband and told him something was wrong with Maxx. When my husband came upstairs, Maxx went to him rolled over, showed his belly for rubs, like nothing was wrong. I was relieved thinking maybe it was a sore spot or something I don’t know… Then all of a sudden he did it again we decided it was time for a trip to the emergency vet at 1 o’clock in the morning. We got there they ran tests, x-rays and sonogram. We were given the devastating news that Maxx head either and abdominal mass or lymphoma. The doctor was leaning towards lymphoma. The good news the was cats respond very well to prednisolone! With the medicine, Maxx could live several more months! Several more months!?!? That’s not enough time!  I wanted YEARS!!! They also sent us home with pain medicine to use it as needed.
Maxx didn’t look sick or act sick at all. If he didn’t make that noise, I never would’ve thought anything was wrong. Over the next three days my world would crumble. When we got home late Friday night we gave Maxx the prednisolone and I didn’t hear any noises until the following night! I gave him his next dose of steroids and pain medicine. He was not happy with me, but I was redeemed when I gave him some treats. Sunday he seemed OK so all he got was the steroids. He was good all day. I didn’t hear any noises whatsoever. Monday night was a different story. He was a little restless, so I decided to give him both medicines followed by treats to take the bitter taste away. I cried my eyes out after I did! The medicine made him foam at the mouth, and it broke my heart, but I knew I was doing it to help him. I just didn’t want him to hate me for it.
All was OK until this morning. Maxx usually showed discomfort at night not in the day. But, this morning he did.

We planned on a followup/second opinion in a few weeks but we brought him in today. We were hoping for a long acting/ slow release steroid injection and possibly a 3 day pain injection to give the steroids a few days to kick in.
Our vet examined Maxx  and found his bladder fulll and so were his bowels. She told us it is definitively an abdominal mass! Not lymphoma. We were given 2 options….

#1 Treat for constipation and strong steroids to shrink the mass enough for enough room for everything to pass…

If it didn’t work we could be faced with ruptured bladder or intestine!
Of it did work it would only but us a few weeks… the mass would eventually block everything off. A FEW WEEKS?!? That made “ a few months” look like a gift!

Or we could choose option two..

# 2 Let him go peacefully.

Option  #2 is what we decided. I was with him holding him, reassuring him, whispering to him and loving him until he crossed Rainbow Bridge and was safe in the arm of Jesus.

My heart is truly broken! He was so sick and never showed a sign! …Until Friday after midnight…. I’ve lost many beloved pets over the course of my 65 years. The only difference is they became sick and we had time to adjust to the knowledge that their journeys were coming to an end.
There is such a deep void in my heart right now…an ache that just won’t dissipate. I long to call”treat time” and have him come trotting down the stairs to scoff up his treats and quickly steal someone else’s! I dread going to bed tonight. I would whistle the theme to the Andy Griffith Show and Maxx ALWAYS came!! I dread the thought of hearing it…. I dread the thought of the days ahead  without my beautiful! I never in a million years thought last Christmas was our last Christmas!
I know that life is short and time is never  guaranteed.

There is one thing I know with every fiber of my heart and soul….that is I will love my Maxx forever! I will miss him terribly each and every day.
I know that as time passes my grief will lessen and my heart will heal…

Some day I will hold him in my arms again when we are together forever in heaven.
Umtil that day…Maxx, my Momma’s Boy, I love you!!

 

 

Back on December 9,1996 I had to have my beloved cat, Wookie, (who was over 20 years old) put to sleep. I was lost. He slept beside me, in the crook of my arm, every night. He would eat whatever I ate. When I would go to Red Lobster I’d always save him some lobster tail! He was a one-person cat, and I was his everything. Losing him was very hard on me. My husband and my 2 daughters, then 10 and 6, wanted to get me a kitten for Christmas. I said NO!!! I was not ready to bring another cat into my heart.

Months passed by and we were planning a Memorial Day BBQ. On that Monday, May 26, 1997, it POURED! Our BBQ was canceled. As we were having breakfast and reading the paper I began to cry. My husband looked at me and asked me what was wrong. Through tears I told him I NEED a cat!
We packed up the girls and headed to North Shore Animal League.

Wookie was mostly black with some white markings, but not many. There was one color cat I said I would NOT take home and that was a BLACK CAT! I did not want to replace Wookie. While we looked at the cages where the kittens were we had to pass a cage that held a black kitten. As we walked by he came to the front of the cage and rubbed against the bars, reached out to grab my daughter Samantha’s (the 6 yr. old) long braids. I couldn’t ignore him and said “Hi,” stuck my fingers and hand in as far as they would go. He rubbed against them happily. There was only one problem… I DID NOT WANT A BLACK CAT!!!! So we finished petting that kitten and moved on to the next cage. I watched as another family came to his cage. At this time he was sitting as far back in the cage as possible. This family did everything possible to get him to come to the front. But it was no use, he wouldn’t budge. We looked at a few other kittens, they took them out and let us hold them. But none were as friendly as the black one. But…. I DIDN’T WANT A BLACK CAT!! On the way back out of the room we had to pass by that cage again. The black kitten was still in the back of his cage..that was until we walked by. As soon as my daughter, Sam, was in range the kitten quickly came to the front of the cage, reached out his paw and grabbed her braid. At that moment we realized that were not there to choose the kitten we wanted, we were there for a special kitten to choose US! My daughters both decided that he was the one. I said OK, but I knew there was NO WAY I could ever love another black cat.

All the way home I kept thinking that I made a HUGE mistake. I never should have taken that black kitten!!

How wrong I was!!! Pepper quickly captured my heart. His personality was a total 180 degrees different from my Wook. That was perfectly fine with me! Pepper was not afraid of anything! When most cats would run, he’d get this look on his face as if to say “Why are you bothering me?” Even thunder and lightning did not phase him!

Pep was part Siamese he was long and had these huge ears! He was a funny looking kitten. But he grew into those ears and became a very handsome “Man” His eyes were green with a hint of blue. Everyone who saw them commented on his eyes! He was also a very vocal cat. We became extremely close and he would follow me everywhere. I could never be in the bathroom by myself because he’d scratch at the door to come in. When I’d shower he’d be on the vanity waiting for me. I confess to being a shower singer. I’d sing to HIM! I would intentionally stop mid sentence and Pep would promptly finish the song.

Pepper was a joy to have in my life. He was a
loving cat, but on his terms! When he wanted to give or receive affection… it was OK.If he didn’t he would gently bite your hand and even sometime NOT so gently! But that was fine. Pepper was the boss! One way he’d show affection was to hit with his paw as you walked by. If you’d walk by and ignored him a few times he’s use his claws just to grab your clothes.

The only time Pepper was a lap cat was in the middle of the night.If ANYONE got up to use the bathroom Pepper would jump on their lap and purr. Everyone in the family treated Pepper like a KING. We would all wait until Pepper would have enough of the love and affection, jump off and go about his business.

Last year just before Jessie died Pep curled up on my lap a few times. It was so wonderful for me. Then in late summer, September, he started to do it more and more often. I loved every second he was with me. Even if I wanted to get up I wouldn’t move until he left on his own. Remember, he was the King! If he was on the couch in the spot where my husband sits…well my husband would have to sit somewhere else.

In early October Pepper’s appetite started slipping. He was always a big, strong, muscular cat. I was concerned and took him to the vet. They kept him for a week running test after test. He was anemic but they couldn’t find out why. All the tests they did were negative. There was no reason for his anemia. So..they sent him home with medicine to treat the symptoms. He was home almost 2 weeks and had to go back in the hospital again. This time they gave him injectable steroids. He came home and looked EXCELLENT! His blood count went up to almost normal. The vet explained that it could go up and down and Pepper must be checked out every few weeks. They sent him home with different meds. Within a few days he was not eating. I brought him back and saw a different vet in the practice. She became Pepper’s angel. She took such good care of him. He was not afraid of her at all. She started him on Epogen. It’s a drug that tells the body to produce RedBloodCells. She gave me her home number and cell number..in case I needed her when the office was closed. I took advantage of that! There were nights when Pep would be “mopey” and I’d call her. She would reassure me.

In January my family went on vacation and I had to leave my precious Pepper. I decided to medically board him. This was because he was on medicine. I did not want to leave anyone responsible for giving him his meds (it was hard enough for me to do it) and I didn’t want anyone responsible for watching him to see if he was OK. He stayed under the care of his angel for 8 days. I was updated daily VIA text message as to how he was doing. When I got home I was thrilled to pick him up and bring him home and I promised him never to leave him again.

He was so STRONG and so much like his old self when I got picked him up. I couldn’t understand why after a few days his appetite started slipping. I called my vet and she told me that while boarded he was on indictable meds. I asked why can’t I do that at home if it is what works best for him? She went out and purchased the medicine and “equipment” for me to be able to do it for Pep. She would not even accept any money from me!

For several months it was the magic that we needed. Within a few hours of getting his medicine Pepper would eat and beg for treats. He’d wake me up in the middle of the night for me to give them to him. (Which I happily did!) I’d have to hide the container because he’s knock it to the floor trying to get to the treats himself. He knew where I would hide it too! If I put it under my pillow .. I’d feel his paw going under it scratching to find the hidden treasure! Pepper was doing great!! He still went for frequent checkups and Epogen shots. All the time we still questioned WHAT CAUSED HIM TO GET SICK!!

Then a few weeks ago even after getting his medicine his appetite was not that great. He would eat, but was not that interested. As always, I would buy his favorite food and treats. But he was really not interested in more than a few treats..or a few bites. I called my vet and we decided to do another run of Epogen. Pepper went 3 times in one week for these shots. He was getting his medicine at home as well. Although he didn’t lose any weight he got very skinny. It took him a long time to get comfortable..and even then he wouldn’t stay in one spot too long, There were nights in the past when he’d sleep in the “V” of my legs and I would NOT move so as not to disturb him. (He also slept with me every night!) But now he just couldn’t find the right spot anywhere. Last Saturday, 5/22/10, he went to see his angel. She gave him his medicine and gave him an antibiotic shot in case he was fighting something. (The steroids he was on would sometimes suppress the immune system.) I brought him home, I fixed his special blanket and put him on the couch. He looked very comfortable and relaxed. I thought everything was going to be OK. We both fell asleep on the couch.
When I woke up Pepper was in the den on another chair. He still looked “OK” so I went to mass, lit a candle for him and said my usual prayers. I even asked my priest to say a special prayer for my Pepper.

I thought Pepper was doing better. I was exhausted from the day and went to take my shower. I left the door ajar, in case he wanted to come in the bathroom. When I stepped out of the shower I heard Pepper wail. I grabbed my robe and went to him. He was on the floor just outside the bathroom door, I picked him up in my arms and he cried. I placed him on my bed and he was limp. I thought it was the end. I cried and kissed him, tried to comfort him and told him he didn’t have to fight anymore, I asked my mother and father to please come and get him and take him to Heaven. I didn’t want him to suffer! After a little while he tried to get up. Then he DID get up! He was going to jump off my bed. I helped him down. He seemed as if he was coming out of what ever it was that happened. Much to my dismay, he had a few more of these episodes during the night. Each time it was the same. I’d take him to my bed, comfort him and cry my eyes out! Then he would come out of it. I honestly don’t know how, but I fell asleep just before dawn. When I awoke I couldn’t find him. I was heartsick thinking he went to hide and was “gone” and that he died alone! I looked under my bed and found him. He was still with me! I prayed that he would not have another episode, telling myself the medicine his doctor gave him needed to kick in. If he didn’t have anymore episodes he’s be OK and I would take him to see the doctor on Monday. This was not meant to be. Shortly there after he had another episode. That was when we made the decision to send him to Heaven. I called my vet, but she was not answering. I could not let my Honey suffer anymore.

My husband, daughter and I took Pepper to the Animal Emergency Hospital. Let me tell you, that was not a pleasant experience! Not that having a beloved pet euthanized IS pleasant. This was a BAD experience. We were the only ones there at that time. We were greeted my the vet tech who took Pepper’s information. He asked us if we wanted the doctor to examine Pepper to see if they could help him. I declined. I knew that if there was anything that could have been done, his special angel doctor would have already done it! He explained the procedure and told us that they would be with us in a few minutes. When they finally came to take Pepper to prep him I was both relieved (that his suffering would soon be over) and distraught that I’d have to say good-bye! The tech gently took my Pepper. We waited over 45 minutes to be called into the room! I was sick waiting! What was taking them sooooo long!!!! I heard Pepper crying from the back. My husband and daughter told me it was not him, but like any good mother, I knew my “baby’s” cry.
They finally brought us into the room. The receptionist told us they had and emergency… (I didn’t believe her) and that the vet had a hard time getting a vein. FINALLY, the vet and the tech brought my Honey into the room. I cried. One of his front paws was bandaged, the other was bleeding with a fairly large hematoma on it! (Why couldn’t the bandage that too?) They were able to get the catheter in his rear paw. I knew then why I heard him crying!!! I was so sick from thinking what he went through. The vet said they had a very hard time because his blood pressure was very low. I did understand, but was still upset thinking of my poor baby. Then she told us that his body temperature was very low as well. That really annoyed me! They knew we brought his there to be put to sleep. Why did they have to take his temperature?? Why did they have to do that to him??? I turned all my attention to my Beloved Pepper, my Honey Man…for the last few minutes I’d have him with me. I told him what was going to happen, that I was going to miss him so very much, that he would be in Heaven with my father and Jessie soon and that I will be with his as soon as it is my time. The last thing I said to him is that I will love him forever!
The vet asked me if I was ready. She gave him the sedative, followed by the final shot. Pepper died in my arms. I stayed with him for as long as I could.

Now I am left with the memories of my Honey and the many pictures I have of him. I know that he is still with me. The first morning after I felt a cat jump up on my bed in Pepper’s spot. I sat up in bed thinking it was my other cat, Muffin. I was not! I know that it was my Pepper! He jumped in HIS SPOT and curled up either me like he has always done!

I will always remember our special bond and I know that when God calls me to Heaven I will be with my Pepper again.