April 30, 2004 will go down as the darkest day of my life, my sweet little girl, for that is the day that you went away. It’s so hard to stop crying because the void in the house is terrible. Watching you over the last few months, I knew the day would come, but there is
no way to prepare for that time.
I know you are happy, running and playing, and that you will wait patiently for me to come to you….you’ll wait just like you did every time there were cookies to be handed out…like you did when it was time for me to come home. As we went to the car Friday afternoon, I knew we were taking our final ride together, and I’ve thought so
many times of our travels.
You were so good, and even Friday, you were a trooper as we drove to the vet’s office. 12 years sounds like a long time, but in retrospect it was a fleeting moment. You brought so much love to me, so many laughs, such warmth in your own special way. My life was truly enriched because of you. I’ll never forget the day you picked me to be your human. You were so cute and sweet, and only 10 weeks old. How about running in the snow in Denver with your nose acting as the plow… you would all but disappear in that white stuff. Mia and Mark both called on Saturday,
and Mia cried with me.
We will never forget when Baby Jaden came to visit at six weeks. You went straight to him, smelled his little feet, and then went to get your prized ball only to place it gently on his lap. You shared that ball with no one until THAT day. Someday, I may find another doggie
that needs a loving home.
I won’t compare her to you, and I want you to know something. Nobody will EVER take your place in my heart. YOU have carved a spot for yourself bigger than Texas, and I’ll always hold you there…you will be always on my mind.
Remember our long road trips? You always rode in the back seat, slept until we stopped, took care of business, and hopped right back into the car. You were a wonderful traveler. Remember the night you had to sneak into the motel because they didn’t accept pets? I told you that you would have to be VERY quiet, and you were. You jumped right up on our bed and went to sleep. Tucker misses you, and he’s so confused right now. I had to leave the apartment twice yesterday, and Tucker met me at the door.
He learned that from you.
I don’t know what to do with myself. I wake up and I don’t have to take you outside. I come home and I don’t have to take you outside. There are no times when I get cookies and set them beside the computer. I’m lost without you. Bingo, baby, I know you gave me all that you had to give, and that I could not let you suffer. Cancer is an ugly disease. It takes us before our time
as the cancer was taking you.
When the vet confirmed in August that the tumor on your throat was bad, I knew the day was coming, and God knows, I was hurting. I remember looking at you and every time I did, I cried. Your friends from Denver and here in Tucson have all written stories to me about you.
They learned to love you very much, and they are hurting like I am. Bill even called from Virginia. He wants a dog, and he says he will get a Bishon. I told him to expect a whole lot of love. You have such a unique personality. You are fearless, brave and courageous.
You faced Friday just as you have faced every event in your life. Remember when Bethany took care of you, and her dogs dug out? They ran off, and you went right around to the front door and sat down. You waited for her to come home because YOU knew running off would be a bad thing. Dougie, Suni and Happy will be very sad on Saturday when I get to their house and you aren’t there. Mia and Mark will be sad. Remember your Reindeer horns?
I dread Christmas when I find those once again. Thank you for watching Arizona Wildcat basketball with me. How did you know that the Cats were playing? You never bothered me when I watched TV except then, and you would get your ball and we would play “basketball”
while I watched.
You could make very accurate “passes” to me. Thank you for those times. Thank you for loving me with all of your little heart. Thank you for giving me so much laughter. Most of all, thank you for those stubborn little moments you would have. You were a determined little one, and that made me love you even more.
As you play and cavort with your new friends, I know you are waiting for me to join you again when the time is right. I long to see you again, and I have one more memory.
Do you remember how you could find the very center of any bed regardless of the size, lay down and know without a doubt that I would somehow find a way to wrap around you? I love you Bingo Bernice Springfeet, and I always will. I miss you more than words can say.
With all of my love,
| Bingo Bernice Springfeet |
| Charlotte Hayes |